Rule number one, don’t be a douche……..ever…….or a green booger.
Are you always checking your shoes thinking maybe you stepped in something because this is the reason everybody avoids you. There is Unpopular like Erika who is known for her “unpopular thoughts and blunt advice – delivered” and perfectly comfortable (and successful) in doing it her way; and then there is unpopular where your basic social skills are lacking as people tend to avoid you.
Help me out coach
Ok, normally I would charge at least $100 for this advice payable to my HeyPal account, but since you have been such a loyal community I will share these helpful tips for free:
- Exercise. That’s right, get your lazy ass up and away from the computer and do something; even if it’s just walking. It will make you feel better about yourself and give your confidence a boost.
- Groom. Wash that damn hair, brush them funky teeth, and cut them nasty ass toenails. How hard can that be; don’t be a Neanderthal.
- Avoid depressing topics. Don’t make people avoid eye contact with you because they know the first words out of your mouth will not be uplifting. Just stop it…….
- Don’t complain. Cousin to depressing topics. Nobody gives a shit you had a bad day……….really. Be solution oriented instead.
- Laugh. That’s right; look for the humor in the absurdities of every day life and laugh at it. It’s been proven it’s healthy to laugh.
- Be curious and engaged. As much as you would like to think it is, it’s not all about you. Ask questions, take the time to listen to the answers; be plugged in.
- Smile. And the world smiles with you. It is very hard for someone not to smile back at you if you are showing them your pearly whites.
If you don’t care about yourself, who will?
There are many, many factors in your life that are totally out of your control. What you can control however is how you react to these events and how you care for yourself; mentally, physically and spiritually. It truly is like a three-legged stool with each leg as important as the other.
Well then, put me in coach
That’s right, no more bitching and moaning and time to be part of the solution not part of the problem. You will never find perfection, so be grateful for what you do have, but never stop learning and exploring.
There are some pretty amazing people to meet, wonderful places to go, and incredible experiences to enjoy; it’s all a part of life, so don’t miss the bus.
Whoa Dorman, that was deep
Ha, that is about as deep as I go. However, life is a journey and whereas goals and ambition are good things to have, don’t forget to enjoy the trip along the way.
That.is.all.
billdorman 
Where’s my invitation? You know I enjoy the trip every day, even on those “bad” days. I won’t miss the bus ‘cuz I’m driving it;) Cheers! Snowshoes
You have an annual pass; you don’t need a ticket……..:).
yay! And now that twitter’s back up, I’ve got my face back:)
Whoa, Bill, that WAS deep. Deeper than you think. There is wisdom in simplicity.
Making things complicated is easy. Finding simple solutions is not. I have a blog post in the works — hit the publish button a couple of minutes ago — but there’s still time to include a mention to this great little post of yours. It would fit right in. When you see the title, you’ll understand.
I saw the post; thanks for the mention.
I concur wholeheartedly about simplicity; keep it bang, bang, bang and get to the point.
Good to see you.
It’s all about positive energy. Don’t be a Debby Downer and smile at the world. Play nice.
It probably helps if your name is Bill Dorman, but I haven’t tried that tactic yet… 🙂
Positive energy and don’t dwell on the crap but look for the good, even in the worst of situations. We all probably have a laundry list of ‘stuff’ we could complain about; but nobody cares, nobody wants to hear about it. So zip it unless you have something good to say, right?
You can use my name if you need to; it’s not copyrighted.
True story, I was at a meeting locally and there were some tech guys there. After the meeting one guy came up and wanted to ‘re-introduce’ himself to me. He said he met me at some event in Gainesville. I had to tell him wrong Bill Dorman, but I do know there is a Bill Dorman in Gainesville. Maybe we look enough alike he could make that mistake; I just hope he is cool like me……..:).
Great stuff for stupid humans!
It shouldn’t be that hard, right?
Good to see you; happy Friday.
I have a friend who says he can forgive a lot of things but he can’t forgive people being boring. You gotta bring something to the party.
Riley
Boring is a buzz kill; come correct or go home, right?
Tough love time, Bill? I love it. One more thing: ASK. How are people ever to know to include you in anything if you don’t ask?! Right?
That is the biggest hurdle of all. Assuming something is what gets you in trouble; make the ask even if you don’t get the answer you want. Otherwise, don’t complain about what you are left with.
So, did you Gini yesterday or is it today? That should be fun indeed…..
Hey Mr. Party! “never stop learning and exploring.” For sure! And what great parties we have here in the blogosphere doing just that!
Lori
I was at a Chamber event last night and somebody said they wanted to pay me a compliment. Of course, I’ll take those all day long, but they said they really admired the way I was able to ask ‘meaningful’ questions with the people I had just met. And they said I appeared genuinely interested in the answer. I really was, and I’m not the best listener at times, so at these events I like to lock in and make sure I hear the answer.
I thought that was pretty cool. And some people think these events are fluff and for my target customer, I probably don’t have many prospects attending, but it really does give you a platform to work on your communication and ‘presentation’ skills in front of a live audience. That should be worth something, right?
Good to see you Lori; I hope your weekend goes well.
I needed that today. Thanks Bill. Words to live by!
Simple but very effective. Of course, I had to spice it up w/ some good ol’ boy language, but it made me smile while I was writing it……:).
Thanks for stopping by.
🙂 “Smile’ works for me. The depth is perfect.
If you smile, most of the time someone will smile back at you. It is a very disarming move and makes you more approachable. Smile, and the world smiles with you.
Good to see you Vidya.
I was at your last party. The crackers were stale. The cheese sweaty. The beer cheap. Everyone drank to excess. The music was Britney Spears and Debbie Gibson. You won the twister contest but lost at limbo. Then we pissed off your neighbor playing ring and run at 3am.
It was a great party.
It was the only time in my life I have ever seen someone dancing with a lampshade on their heads. Childhood dreams do come true. 😉
And the lampshade by itself wasn’t too bad, but the lack of clothes made it somewhat of a disturbing image that made you question the next day if you really saw that or not.
A great party indeed; and sometimes that ketchup dip on the crackers really hits the spot after a few Old Milwaukee beers.
My roommate and I after college thought about throwing a ‘low class’ party with just those refreshments in mind. But we were concerned they would not be able to tell the difference from our ‘regular’ parties……………
Good to see you Howie; send me some maple syrup, will ya?
A spiritual experience for me is a card with a score under 90.
Honestly, Mr. Dorman, sir, such sensitivites these day. Waddup?
Just don’t go and buy a sports car.
😉
Yeah, Mr Sensitivity……….like a rock. Actually, I am the sensitive one; I try not to cry when I see people actually respond to my posts……….:).
I might have to win the lottery to justify a sports car, but I do have a couple on the bucket list. A Porsche 911 Carrera has been a staple wish car for awhile.
Here’s to breaking 90……fore…………………………
I’m just glad you started brushing those funky teeth – I don’t notice what you had for dinner the night before anymore 😮
At last, you’ve gained the pearly whites you’ve always desired, but were too lazy to take care of. All you needed to do is brush those babies all along 😛
Blogging has done many things for you Mr. Bill, and if you keep it up, you just might change the world too – hehe!
I know I’m not as witty as you are, but what a perfect platform to practice on : )
Cheers to you sir!
The best teeth money can buy, right. My front teefus are capped w/ gold and have a star in the middle of them.
Blogging has allowed me to meet some very interesting and talented people. Some might think online friends are not ‘real,’ but they seem real enough to me. You, my friend, are about as real as they get.
Good to see you; I hope your weekend goes well.
I tried to reply directly to Howie, but it wouldn’t let me. Do I need my passport to get in? And how come I missed the party?! I sent bacon chip dip:)
Uh oh, I probably had the double secret, double naught spy block on like Howie does at his place. People have commented there are strange things going on over here at times. All I know is I’m still free (and cheap) and have very little control other than just ‘showing up.’ Maybe I can pass the hat and see if my community will pay for me to go ‘self-hosted’ huh?
Good to see you; hope you have a great weekend and look out for the bears.
And now I’ve obviously lost my face too. Did that happen at customs?
It just keeps getting worse, huh? Heaven help us…………:)
Aw, it wasn’t you after all: it was twitter. Blame it on twitter. Or the bears:)
That dang twitter bug……..
There’s nothing worse than walking into a room, saying, “Hey, how are you?” to someone and having them go on and on about all of their major dilemmas.
These “major” dilemmas usually consist of things like: I missed the bus today. I have so much work to do! My kids are driving me crazy! Here are my responses: That’s a great opportunity to walk and get some fresh air and exercise! Be glad that you have a job! You should be thrilled to have happy, healthy kids!
Yup, I’m that annoying person who finds a silver lining on every cloud;)
We had a lady at our office and the joke really was ‘whatever you do, do NOT ask her how she is doing.’ It was always bad and she would go into intimate detail and it was very hard to break away. Everybody would say, ‘do not make eye contact.’ Sad but true……
It is very easy to look for the humor in everyday life instead of always being ‘woe is me.’
Like Carolyn said, be positive energy; not a drain.
Good to see you Alicia, hope all is well.
Ooooo, Bill got deep! I love that Bill.. All about being positive and just a darn good person. Clean too right!
And if we all behave, you’ll invite us to the party. Yey!!!
Clean is pretty important; in this day and age, there is absolutely no reason not to be. And being ‘fun’ sure is a plus too; I guarantee that will get you invited to more parties than not.
If you behave too much, you might not get invited. I need to spirited people like you to stir it up.
Thanks for stopping by; always a tremendous pleasure.
I heard you say “Hey coach!”….so here I am 😉
Love this lighthearted post Bill. Wait…that’s the norm here! No wonder I keep coming back for more!
That’s right, ‘put me in coach.’………….
I know most will follow a business blog or such because it is their niche; however, for those who stop by here I hope it will bring at least one smile to their face.
I’m enjoying it; let’s see where it goes. Thanks for stopping by; hope you have a great weekend.
“Don’t complain”… wouldn’t that cut the blogosphere in half! 🙂
Solution oriented people are the ones that succeed, and they are definitely the most energizing to be around. Complainers are like vampires — just take the life right out of whoever they are around.
Two-thirds and trust me, I’ve had my share of bitch and moan posts but I do try to see the humor in the so-called slights. Even though there have been a few I would have liked to call out by name; I just need to take the high road and keep it general and light. What goes around comes around so I’m ok w/ the good karma.
The people I work with, when they come to me with an ‘opportunity’ I ask them to tell me how they would feel if it was happening to them, and what would they do to make it ‘right?’ Give me a solution, just don’t dump a bunch of crap on me and we will work it out together.
Yes, don’t be known as ‘that guy’ the wet blanket.
Good to see you Adam, hope your week went well.
I’m exercising, that’s something. But I’m probably talking too much about pizza, because it’s hard to get an invitation 🙂
Seriously, great post. To me, it’s all about having a positive mindset and staying away from the negative comments. Stay happy 🙂
And it doesn’t have to be ‘artificial’ happy, but find the way to be genuinely happy; and it’s not hard to do if you look for the humor in situations.
Pizza will always get you into my party. Instead of having it delivered, walk to get it so you can get your exercise in……….:).
Positive and solution oriented; have actionable suggestions on how to get things done.
Hope you are out of the dog house………..er, uh tent and will have a nice bed to sleep in tonight.
Domino’s Pizza last night; not usually in our lineup, but it was very good indeed.
I’ll be back in the tent during the weekend, but this time I have my family with me 🙂
Now I know where I go wrong… I just talk depressing things…. wait, I talk about depression itself…. too much psychology…… I need to leave my lab coat at home….
I have a great idea; start wearing a clown face w/ a big red nose when you see your patients. Maybe they won’t be so inclined to tell you about that red rash on their butt…. oh wait, you’re not that kind of doctor………..:).
Loved this post Bill….no messing around…just stop whining and do something… my favorite is “s–t or get off the pot”. Life’s too short to be wasting it in negative energy! Surround yourself with positive energy and happiness will follow! Have great weekend!
It is not healthy to dwell on the negatives; it does not put you in a good frame of mind or self-image. Be part of the solution, not the problem. You don’t have to be Mr/Mrs Happy all of the time, but don’t be Debbie Downer either.
Positive energy and a smile; it will do wonders for you outlook.
So good to see you; I hope all is well in your world.
[…] one’s been Unctuous (tip of the hat to you Carolyn Nicander Mohr for that one), and to quote Bill Dorman, everyone’s been “undeniably brilliant with their utter […]
Smiling is my secret weapon. I use it like a machine gun mowing down would be downers. It brings the best out of them.
And every once in a while i wash my hair… 🙂
Why do you only give us spot pictures of your home. If you are as good as you want us to belivee when it comes to interior don’t give us pictures of a moose, but pictures of the whole room. Every person in the world can take spot pictures of a nice thing in their home and allege that their home looks nice. Please give us pictures that make sense,composition