Back away from yourself, you’ve crossed the line

As I was visiting sites this past week, I saw where my friend Craig McBreen had commented and tried to slip in the ‘I’m relatively new‘ line in. Oh hell no Mr BlogWorld; that dog don’t hunt as we are prone to say in the south. You might try to run that weak shit somewhere else pal, but we’ve got our eye on you.

You are ‘all in‘ now, no mistakes or mulligans allowed.

Ok, that was a little harsh but since Craig is about 75 in social years now, he no longer has a hall pass. Plus, I can say stuff like that to him…:).

Where do you draw the line?

Raise your hand if you think you age much faster in social years than you do in dog years? At what point should you lose the ‘newbie‘ tag; is it length of service, or depth of involvement that makes this distinction?

In many ways I still feel very inexperienced and not only green, but green like a booger at times. In other ways, I am almost like a guru (I said almost…) in that I know enough of the ‘right’ people and can maneuver my way around pretty well.

If Craig is 75 years old in social then I’m probably 100. Having said that, I don’t think there is really any shelf life however. At 1,000 years old in social you are probably like a fine wine; only getting better with age.

You did what? 

The point of this post is, when is your hall pass yanked and you are no longer given the benefit of the doubt on doing stupid things?

Trust me, looking back over my time in here I did some really, really silly things. The top three are probably the whining posts when I thought I had been ‘wronged;’ not knowing how to link people to my posts; and having some silly ass Avatar because I barely knew how to post a picture and wouldn’t ask anyone to take a new one for me.

If I did any three of those things now I would expect to be stripped down naked and made to walk 5 miles home in the middle of the day. My social card would definitely be revoked.

There is one advantage to being a dork however; sometimes you do get away with goofiness at times, because bless my little heart, sometimes I just can’t help it.

That is pretty harsh

I know, nobody wants to see me naked regardless of who is imposing the punishment. And a lot of my social ills were not from lack of knowledge but more from lack of want to on my part in taking the time to learn something.

As long as I could just show up and play, for what I was trying to do, was good enough for me. Talking and engaging I can do; that should be worth something, right?

If you are like me, you are probably a lot more critical of yourself and your own actions than you are of others. With my acquired social wisdom I pretty much give everybody a hall pass. If we start to drift apart there was probably a reason, and not a reason we really need to dissect.

With my community, we all hang out at a lot of the same places. I used to question what I had done differently or wrong when some of my regulars started to drift away but I would still see them at the other places. It’s called choices and it can be because of time, preference, reciprocity (or lack thereof), or numerous other reasons. It is one of those things out of your control anyway, so why worry?

Is there really a line to cross?

Hopefully you know I was being facetious………once again; I just like to call Craig out and he gave me the perfect opportunity. Who knows, Mark Harai might be next because he had some post about changing the world with a blog or some other nonsense like that.

There really is no line for me because I am still prone to do something incredibly stupid. And you know what? I can take it as well as I dish it, so if you see me being ‘that guy,’ feel free to call me on the carpet and make me accountable for my actions.

This is what I like about social.


73 thoughts on “Back away from yourself, you’ve crossed the line

  1. Craig implied he was a noob? That’s just wrong. Tisk, tisk on him..

    I have no idea when you stop being a newbie. I stopped feeling like a newbie after i hit the one year mark. It was mostly in my head but i read somewhere that many bloggers or online entrepreneurs don’t make it past the 3 6 and 9 months mark. So i guess passing that one year mark was like a milestone, like giving birth or something.
    Hopefully i din’t act like a newbie anymore..

    Is it possible to revert and do silly mistakes and become a reborn Newbie?

    • I think after a year I no longer felt the ‘newness’ and hopefully I don’t get too crazy and do something silly, but it’s still in there somewhere.

      Because it is so fluid and changing rapidly it can be very easy to get caught off guard I suppose.

      Good to see you; thanks for the visit.

  2. “At what point should you lose the ‘newbie‘ tag” — I think depth of involvement is the defining factor, Bill. You can deepen your involvement (OK, I’m going to sound like a broken record here; so be it) and become of… legal age in a matter of months. Maybe there are some luminaries who can join a community and dominate the field in days. I don’t know, doesn’t strike me as something outside the realm of possibility.

    I’m with Annie up there when she mentions the milestones. If you’ve made it past the one-year mark, you’ve made it.

    I wouldn’t worry too much about mistakes if I were you.

    Speaking of nakedness, age, social convention and faux-pas:

    • Yay, I’m in then; I have made it past a year.

      I have seen some ‘flash in the pans’ who come on strong, get in at all the right places, but don’t make it to the magical one year point. I got ramped up pretty quick and thought that might be might fate as well. I had to go back playing the local clubs instead of the big venues; but it’s what kept me around.

      Most of my mistakes are not icky kind where people start disassociating from me; but I probably have made some shake their head a time or two. I don’t worry too much about any of it other than just showing up, even if I do seem to write about certain things at times.

      Good to see you sir; thanks for taking the time to stop by.

  3. I have no regrets in social..but I have a poor memory for things I’ve said, too. LOL! But a few days ago I was reading one of @TheJackB’s posts and someone said something that rubbed me the wrong way. It didn’t help that I’d had very little sleep for a few days.I wanted to fight. It took everything I had to pull back and log off. Fighting is so pointless. That’s a part of social media that I’d heard about and can now say I’ve experienced it once and never want to go there again.
    So, in that regard, I’m always a newbie ’cause there’s so much I haven’t experienced!!

    • I’ve had a taste or two of the ugliness, but not much….thank goodness. Fortunately, for the most part, my posts don’t encourage controversy or fighting; I really don’t need that kind of drama.

      There are many parts of this I am definitely a rookie; even parts of blogging. However, I have been bold enough just to jump in when I see fit and so far the water has been fine and not too deep.

      Thanks for coming by; always a pleasure.

  4. I don’t feel like a newbie in social so much, but I do still feel like a newbie in the blogosphere. That’s because many of whom I now come into contact with will often remind us, “I’ve been doing ____ since 1974” or words to that effect… and I’m very cognizant of that. Then, on the other hand, I’ll see people who’ve maybe been blogging for a year, and they say they’ve been doing it for “so long” and are such experts… maybe they are, how do I know?! So I wonder if the drawing of the line isn’t about time so much as maturity and humility.

    E.g. you. remember how I’d keep telling you you should stop calling yourself the “invisible” blogger? Perhaps time was when you were invisible, but for a while now, you have been most definitely visible to the circles that matter TO YOU (note how I put that in all caps!). So perhaps when one reaches that level of visibility, that’s when one should stop drawing the line in the sand.

    OK, you told me not to subscribe to comments (to save my email), but I know you’re gonna have a comeback to me here… so how will I know?!

    • Oh, you will know because I will send up a tweet smoke signal saying your comment has been replied too……..:).

      You do make a good point framing it by people who matter to me. I have been fortunate to have made some good friends in here and they cover the whole spectrum in terms of visibility or popularity; it has been a very rewarding ride.

      True story; I really did think I would be ‘invisible’ and have posts w/ no comments at all. But once I got cranked up and saw how this part of it worked, it did become apparent I might do a little better than that. I’m very thankful for what I do have, trust me.

      Good to see you; hope the paying day job is meeting your expectations. Thanks for taking the time to comment.

      • I can’t tell you how happy I was to come over and comment! Usually by the time I get here it’s too late and you already have a gazillion comments and by that point you’ll totally miss anything I have to say… or you have a gazillion comments and my head is fried just trying to make sense of them and I have nothing intelligent to contribute to the conversation…

        All of which is to say, I always WANT to comment but don’t always get to it!

      • Ha, I don’t miss anything and it’s always a pleasure to see you. Some days seem to pull more friends than others, but for my platform right now, it seems to be working pretty well.

        If you happen to come back and see this, I hope your day goes well.

  5. That’s hilarious Bill! We age here in social at a much faster rate than we do in real life, or even in dog years! LOL I wonder how old that makes Gini and Danny! I wonder how old that makes me 😮 Not much older than you, I’d say. I’m not a newby anymore. Sigh – I kind of miss those days!

    • They are probably the wizened 1,000 yr olds…..they know all, or all that needs to be known…..:).

      I’m thinking of starting all over under an alias; I really do miss the early days.

      Good to see you.

      • I can’t believe you know exactly what I’m saying! I don’t know if we can go back and start blogging all over again! I ask myself what it was about “the early days” which was so miss-able! I think the clue is there somewhere.
        Are you coming to the Hangout tomorrow? We’ll talk more.

  6. LOL!

    I believe we are all newbies in a sense to all of this Bill. Social is what, 5 years old?

    Not much more than that and sadly it seems most people don’t have any social skills – at least not online. If they acted the same way in offline, they wouldn’t have any friends. Not the case for you Slick Willy, I mean Billy.

    You know how to connect with people in a meaningful and credible manner – even with that wild sense of humor you possess. That’s a bonus by the way.

    When you can do that, you’re in a position to move people, or influence people, or change the world for one social connection at a time.

    I bet you’ve already had an impact on peoples lives and aren’t even aware of it.

    Keep writing your heart Mr. Bill, you’re making a difference : )

    • Thanks for the kind words sir, much appreciated.

      Sometimes people don’t realize how much influence they can wield through their online presence; and then again when some do realize this, they don’t play nice anymore. We have all seen the boorish behavior at times; but for the most part the people we run with are pretty civil.

      You mention some of the peeps lacking in social skills not having any friends off line; that very well may be their story but now they have a voice to express themselves.

      I was going to mention the new pic you are using and the size of your head, but that would have been to much like the early days, huh?

      Good to see you; hope you enjoyed your Father’s Day.

  7. Noob? Craig? Naaaaa…..and he better respond, dammit.

    Lots of great comments here and I happen to agree with all. Because this space is changing so much and so quickly we are all noobs all the damn time. Some “bloggers” have been around a lot longer and “know the ropes” but like anything else in life we are all mature adults…ahem….so we know how to navigate life.

    We can screw up as much in social as we can IRL and yes I will make a distinction because there is one between this “social” space and the real life.

    Craig is just being coy….c’mon buddy….goading you here a bit!

    Maybe we should define noobs by the numbers. If you have more than a year, you have over 1 million followers on twitter and 3 million subscribers to your blog you are no longer a noob…..maybe just a boob……hahahahaha……boy, I crack myself up.

    • Yeah, no Avatar will make someone write a post about it……….noob……

      3 mil is probably a good number to get you off the schneid of noobiedom.

      It can change on you quickly in here; I wonder if some of the more grizzled veteran bloggers get a little peeved when some upstart comes along garnering all the attention. I think most are happy and helpful however.

      Boobs are better than noobs BTW; good to see you sir.

  8. Oh I’m STILL a newbie on a lot of things Bill. I always claim to be a work in progress so yeah, I’m probably somewhere at that 1,000 year mark. You said so yourself in your comment today since it is my 3rd anniversary for blogging. Dang, that seems so long but it’s not really.

    We still love ya Bill. Probably always will…

    • But your the type that digs in and figures it out; I’m likely to hang around on the outside doing silly things until I either quit or it becomes obvious what I’m doing wrong. It was only two weeks ago Kaarina told me how to ‘link’ better so you didn’t have to go out of my site. Duh…………:).

      3 yrs in blogging…..whoa, if you were a man you would be a gray beard……you are doing great however, really hitting your stride; congrats.

      Thanks for stopping by.

  9. Aren’t we all as old as we feel- makes me about 25 or so. Nah, scratch that I want to be 20. Man was I in good shape- hours in the gym each day and no responsibilities. No blog, no Twitter, no motorboat, not a single luxury.

    • 21, just got out of the Army and was going back to school. My days were spent going to school, the gym and the beach; I thought I had died and gone to heaven, like I got a do-over. Those were fun times indeed……..but no, I had no luxuries either ’cause I was broke……..:).

  10. Hi Bill, I was just thinking about this issue today. I stopped saying I was a newbie after about 4 months. After 10 months, I was helping a friend set up her blog, but I kept warning her that I was still new at this stuff. She wouldn’t believe me, but I felt I still had a lot to learn.

    I still don’t feel as if I have command of this blogging stuff. Last week I learned about headers and how they are searchable. Who knew? Now I’m putting them in, but after over 300 posts, I don’t think I’m going back and changing what I had before (bold print).

    What other secret will I discover soon? Does anyone really understand everything about this stuff? Do you feel like you’re still learning?

    As far as social goes, I’ve been on social for about 100 years, back when there were AOL chat rooms. Play nice and you’ll do fine.

    • Headers? What the heck? That’s more than a blog title?

      For me, if it takes more than just writing and posting then I don’t get much deeper than that. However, for what I’m doing I’m not sure how deep I need to go. Maybe when I get my book done I will be a pimp daddy blogger then, huh?

      I feel like I am definitely still learning. Early on it was like eating an elephant; the whole big thing at once. Now, I can step back and pick one or two things at a time to learn and not feel like I’m losing a bunch of ground. There is always something else to learn, and that’s kind of cool.

      300 posts…………whew; that’s rockin’……….way to go.

      Good to see you; thanks for the Father’s Day wishes.

  11. Hi Bill,

    I am raising my hand (9.5 months in). You do age fast here, only because the shelf life is so short for so many and the average blog lifespan is like that of a Mayfly.

    If I am 75 and you are 100. How old is that Brogan guy? Probably up there with Yoda or Count Orlok … 😉

    In a way we never lose the Noob tag, as we are always learning, but it can be a convenient excuse for any hiccups you have along the way. I guess I do need to shed that tag and face future screw-ups like a man.

    Oh, I definitely don’t want to see you naked, ever, but you never know, some Dorman fanatics might 😉

    • Brogan is probably 10,000; I wonder if he ever wishes he could start over anonymously?

      I never want to lose the noob tag ’cause we are always learning. Plus, being the ‘new guy’ does give you a certain amount of latitude and when you get mentioned or recognized for the first time, it’s kind of cool. Unfortunately, I have now blended back in with the wallpaper, so I’m probably somewhere in between ‘the next big thing’ and ‘whatever happened to’ guy………..:).

      No nudity here; those days have passed me by…………..yikes……….:).

  12. Can you feel old and young at the same time? 18 months into blogging and yet so much to learn. But I tell myself this is ok and it mostly feels like it.

    “Don’t be coy, Roy” – where have I heard that before?

    Good point here!

    Wishing you a wonderful week full of perks!

    • Well, just hop on the bus, Gus; you don’t need to discuss much……..

      How about if we feel young and younger? It sure was fun the early days, it was cool being the new and clueless one.

      Here’s to keeping it fresh; good to see you. I hope your market turned out ok.

    • I hope it counts for something; sometimes I wonder if it wears thin and people start thinking I really don’t have anything to write about. I like to think that what you see of me in here is what you get on the outside too….except most of my in real life friends do not know I blog……..maybe when I’m rich and famous I’ll come out of the closet…..:).

      So good to see you; hope the baby and the business is going well.

  13. Ha! Okay, it already looks like my avatar isn’t showing. Damn. I must be a newbie. (Winks at Ralph.) I came from the field of education where everyone is a newbie—teacher and students alike—all the time. I believe they called it “lifelong learner.” I purposely choose to be a newbie. Wide-eyed innocence and curiosity has its benefits. Good post, Bill. : )

    • You newbie; do you need Avatar coaching now?

      This is the part I like about social; the lifelong learning. There is just so much and so many things you can do and learn all.the.time. That’s pretty cool, right?

      I was very wide-eyed in the early days and it was a blast; I want to keep that innocence and curiosity because it keeps it fresh.

      So good to see you Judy; thanks for taking the time to stop by.

    • Gosh darn wordpress. I just wonder how others get their avatars to show. Now that I have jumped off the platform I have to fill out a form to comment on Mr. Dorman’s blog. I dunno, it seems like a lot of work…….just sayin’

  14. The other thing is that the time is different for each person. You and I started at almost exactly the same time but you logged a lot more hours than I did in that time frame (especially when you were on that crazy starter pace).

    I think the real line between newbie and experienced is when you have a feel for the medium — meaning it’s different for blogging, Twitter, etc. Knowing when a conversation is over, what type of reply is expected, and so on are some of the things you question often early on but rarely as you get a feel for the rhythms of the medium. I feel like an old man on Twitter and the blog, but still have some elements of newbie when it comes to Facebook.

    • You make a good point; having different comfort levels w/in the different mediums. Early on I thought you had to know them all; now I know it’s ok to take it one bite at a time as it’s not going anywhere and you won’t be left behind.

      I was coming home at night and staying up ’til 11 or 12 trying to keep up; it was crazy but really fun at times. I guess those efforts helped be ‘mature’ in here if that’s possible for me but glad I’m no longer on that pace.

      Good to see you Adam; hope you had a good weekend.

  15. And here I am, thinking that it is all about being myself, being kind, loving and sharing stuff!
    Right now I am busy catching up on what I missed – being away for five days! 😀

  16. I soon hit two years at blogging but I am and I will always be a newbie. I am aging in real life, let me be young in the online world….Please,oh, please.

    As for people who want to be all old and been there, done that…. go ahead grandpas…

    And as for Craig, that guy just came in; let him grow… 😉

    And as for you…. aren’t you the guru of the social world…and gurus are old,but they never age…ironic…

    • I hadn’t thought of that, but if you are using a blog as a business platform you might not want to broadcast how ‘new’ you are or feel, right?

      Just remember, perception might as well be reality.

      Good to see you.

  17. I think I must be about 5280 in social years, by now. I just love it when the n00bs try to tell me how it’s done. 😀

    Fun post, Bill. Feel free to call me out if I deserve it.

    • Ok, 5280 is somewhere between the green booger and the wizened one on top of the hill everyone seeks advice from. I do find it humorous when some of these people roll out their platform as ‘experts’ and I know more than them…………..yikes……….

      Well, seeing you have already called me out, be prepared. I don’t get mad, I get even……:).

      Good to see you and good luck with the blog contest.

      • My first foray into chat was in 1981. The only ones who’ve been online longer than me were the folks on ARPAnet, I think. If you never used a mainframe, don’t know which companies founded Compuserve and GEnie, and can’t remember a time when the Internet didn’t support graphics at all, you’re a n00b in my eyes. 😉 Doesn’t mean you can’t teach me new tricks, but don’t try to tell me I’m doing it “all wrong.” (I told my son the other day to pick one: sophomoric or pedantic. He wasn’t allowed to be both, now that he’s going into his Junior year. At least he had the good grace to laugh.) And yes – I realized as I typed that previous comment, I was leaving myself WIDE open… pretty cheeky to “call you out” when I haven’t been commenting more regularly here, I know. You’re right to play favorites, and Hajra’s one of my favorites, as well. 🙂

      • Sophomoric for sure; can’t you tell by my posts?

        No worries on the visits; I don’t keep a tally…….not an ‘official’ one at least. I’m just happy to see you when you do come by.

      • I don’t keep score, either – not officially OR unofficially. But “out of sight, out of mind” does apply, sometimes. 🙂 And for some reason, I think WordPress had unilaterally unsubscribed me from your blog; I used to get email notices when you had a new post, but hadn’t in a while. WordPress and I have had a little “chat” (a euphemism for some of the choice words I muttered at my monitor) and I think we’ve rectified the situation… 😉

      • You gotta watch that WordPress, it will do some funny things. Did you know I just now figured out how to put your blog in my Reader? It was giving me some funky stuff before. Go figure, huh?

      • I was thinking funky like 3 day old underwear or something that you had to flip inside out on the third day just to keep it fresh…………

        Yes that one; I should have known the prolific blogger that is 5,280 yrs old would have a multi-presence…….I can barely post twice a week……….:).

  18. Not sure if there is a line to cross. It all depends on the targeted audience and if you’re talking about things that are related to them. There so much information out there and so many people, so in order to get attention you need to be personal, but you’ll also need to keep doing stuff that will make you stand out from the crowd and that’s something you’re really good at 🙂

    • There’s no line; I just had to make up a reason to call out Craig. If I see some of my brethren make a silly statement just know it might turn into a post… beware…..:).

      There definitely is a lot of info and noise and just because you scream the loudest still doesn’t mean anybody is listening, right?

      Good to see you Jens; thanks for stopping by.

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