What kind of life do you want to live 


Every day is an adventure, right?

You might notice some of my recent posts (albeit less than 5) has a mountain biking theme. That’s the kind of life I’m living now and there is an 11.8 mile track 10 minutes from my house that allows me to ride 4-5 times a week.

I didn’t know there were mountains in Florida

Ok, if you call 200′ in elevation a mountain I guess we can run with that. Actually, phosphate mining was big back in the day close to my house and the remnants where the phosphate was scooped from the earth are mounds of hard packed sand and the trails were carved from this.

That picture up there? No, that’s not me but I have been in that pose before and it’s not a pretty sight to see an old assed man dragging himself up off the deck. You would think someone of my advanced years would pick a different hobby that is not quite so prone to getting hurt in some form or fashion, wouldn’t you? Well, nobody ever accused me of being the the sharpest knife in the drawer and I’ve always heard when you grow up you grow old, so I’m holding off as long as I can.

So, what kind of life are you living then

Well, I can say it’s still good to be me. We survived the economic meltdown from ’07-’11 and even though it reduced my financial empire to about half, at least I wasn’t already on a fixed income and had to worry about what I needed to do to make that loss up. Welcome to Walmart? 

I try to be a good person, certainly not perfect by any means but feel at least my heart is is in the right place and try to do good things. I believe there is some merit in being a servant leader and feel some responsibility to give back because I have been more than fortunate in so many ways.

That sounds like work to me

I joke about being lazy and maybe there is some truth to that, but having fun is much more important to me right now than pretty much anything else and if something gets in the way of that; then yes, I might get lazy if it requires work. The good news is, I can find fun in just about anything, but certainly not everything. So beware of what you ask of me….just sayin’, but you have been forewarned.

Are you having fun

If not, why not? June 1st of this year marked my 34th year of employment at Lanier Upshaw, Inc. Yes, that’s a loooong time and certainly puts me in the minority of having the same job with the same employer for that long. I guess I followed my dad’s MO, he was with Minute Maid/Coca Cola for 40 years. However, it also has me contemplating what comes next and I can certainly see that light at the end of the tunnel.

Don’t write it in ink, but you can use a heavy number 2 pencil if you are keeping score, but I plan on doing something else January 2021. That will give me 40 years in the industry.

I have a partner here who started exactly one year before me but is 3 years older; my original thoughts were to outlast him and be the longest tenured employee at Lanier Upshaw, Inc. but he doesn’t appear to be making any immediate plans so I’ll just let him win that prize…:).

Who knows, maybe I’ll be a world class writer like the Extremely Average one, Brian Meeks. I really did think that moniker fit me much better, but I could never talk him into giving it up.

Anyway,……to be continued…….

True story

Without a reader, there are no words...

If I’m lyin’ I’m dyin’, right? Ever notice when I write I have a tendency to leave off the ‘gs’ with ‘ing’ endings? It’s how I talk so the reader should get the real flavor, right? It’s a southern thing; I don’t want to sound too much like a hayseed, but I’m also lazy so sometimes it carries over to my speech as well. I’m becoming of the age I can do those kinda things now…just sayin’…:).

That doesn’t sound much like a story

It wasn’t, but do you ever start a conversation with ‘true story?’ Does that mean all the other stories were bullshit, or some variation thereof but this one is verbatim true? Or, maybe the story you are about to tell borders on being unbelievable you have to qualify it first? Or, most of your stories are embellished to a degree they are hardly believable in the first place so you need to qualify it?

I wish my life was interesting enough I had good enough stories to qualify first.

My life is so routine and predictable right now it wouldn’t take much to notice any deviation. I’m not big on a lot of drama, but I could certainly take it up a notch from watching paint dry or grass growing, huh?

That’s why I like to post on FB so it looks a lot more exciting than it really is; true story.

If you see it online it has to be true

There is certainly a lot of untruths, partial truths or half-truths posted all the time. I try to take it with a grain of salt because that’s all you can do as this is our new norm. Whereas, some want to make ‘merica great again, we also can’t put that genie back in the bottle.

I’m a go along, get along kind of person and maybe sometimes too complacent, but it sure reduces my stress and anxiety level. About 99% of the stuff I see and read I can do absolutely nothing about so it serves me well to let that flotsam drift right on down the stream.

And that’s the truth

Really, is that what you have reduced yourself too?

Apparently, huh? This is actually the 3rd post I have written since I have been back, but just didn’t publish the others for whatever reason.

One thing I do know, this free WordPress site is kind of a pain in the ass as it doesn’t work real well; and that’s the truth too.

So what does that mean? Not much, as I mentioned before I’m kinda lazy and not much stresses me out so this might be as good as it gets.

Hey now brown cow…

06509-mountain-bike-crash-432x250

Well, I was never big time enough to spend a lot of money on my blogging platform with the exception of my domain name (billdorman.me) and sadly to say I have let that go by the wayside as well. Therefore, I think the free stuff (billdorman.wordpress.com) will be me again when I was the Invisible Blogger because Brian Meeks wouldn’t give up Extremely Average.

Now, if I can just figure out how all this stuff works again.

What brings you back then?

Well, first of all the people; I actually had a nice little audience (or group of friends) who I enjoyed spending time with and sharing our stories. And secondly, I found out I liked the writing a lot.

You would think as an English speaking male, English might be something I could master, right? Well, I have primarily two things going against me; my direct descendants going all the way back to 1790 that I know of are southerners and of course we have our own dialect. And, it’s not that I was a bad student but it was hard to keep my attention in school (unless it was female…:) and once they started talking about verbs, nouns, adverbs, prepositions, etc I was done for; just too much paying attention for me.

And to make matters worse, they started mixing letters with numbers in math….

My saving grace; I like to read and I read a lot. So I suppose some of the properness has rubbed off on me, but I’m sure a grammar Nazi might make mincemeat of my work if it was ever scrutinized to that depth.

Any other reasons?

Internally, there was a certain sense of purpose I enjoyed and about the time I gave up writing was about the time I had a transition in my job being consolidated back into headquarters from one of our branch offices. Truthfully, that took the wind out of my sails a little bit and it has taken time for me to readjust to the new norm and being one of many instead of being the one.

Am I back?

Who knows, when I hit publish this might go in a deep dark hole never to emerge again. I remember the fear and elation when I published my first post back in the day and sadly to say the expectations are not the same, but the results might be.

Finally….

What’s with the pic? My latest hobby, mountain biking of course. That photo is not me, but I have resembled that pose before. Yes, I know there are no mountains in Florida, but we have plenty of trails in close proximity to me and I partake 4-5 times a week. And yes, that sounds like more than a hobby, but I’m hooked; what can I say.

If, this finds the light of day and if any of my old crew see this, don’t get too excited. I feel if I set the bar low enough it will be very easy to exceed expectations.

 

What is Your Exit Strategy?

Well, chronologically March 4th is the 4-year anniversary of this blog but since I have been persona non grata for close to a year it might be a stretch to think this post as an anniversary. However, it was interesting to go back and see what post numero uno (that’s Spanish if you want to look it up in Google translate) was about and what was on my mind at the time. If you are curious at all, here is that bad mofo (that’s French I think).

With writing like that the internet world must have suffered a significant setback when I left, huh?

What does any of this have to do with an exit strategy?

No kidding, right; looks like you are they guy who leaves through the back door without telling anyone goodbye.

The reality is, I am of the age that I should probably start putting some thought into this process instead of just walking out the door at work and expecting everything to just fall into place. Of course, that’s pretty much my MO, to just show up, so why should this be any different?

The truth is, my job is probably not different than most in that some days I am ready to walk out right now, no questions asked. Then there are other days where I feel I could easily do another 10. I am somewhere in between leaving right now and probably closer to 10, but then again I had a pretty kick ass start to this year so we will see how long that euphoria can carry me I suppose.

Part of the reason I am leaning more toward the 10 number is that my wife has already said I won’t be sitting around the house, and if she says it then it’s probably true and unless one of you want to take me in I better just keep showing up at the office.

Looking back

When I reminisce and reflect on my life the easy thing for me to do is to break it down in 10 year increments. 10 years is not a long time, but to put it in perspective I remember how much I enjoyed my 10 year old birthday party with my friends and only 10 years later I was celebrating my 20th with Uncle Sam in the woods at Ft Benning, Georgia.

During that 10 year stretch not only did we move away from the home town I grew up in, my parents divorced and I came of age I suppose.

As much as we take comfort in the routine at times, life is all about change, and a lot can happen in just 10 short years.

In the 4 years since I took the pledge and became active in the social arena there has been quite of bit of change. There have been some consistent Steady Eddie’s but then there have been more who just became tired and threw in the towel like me. It’s just online it’s more visible to all.

Every journey can be a learning process and would like to think I smelled the roses along this journey as much as I could. My circle of friends certainly expanded.

Looking forward

What does the future hold in store? Who the heck knows and when you listen to what is going on in the world around us it can be certainly scary at times. But I usually just compartmentalize it and put it on the back burner because it’s all out of my control anyway.

What I can do though, is to sit down and map out what I would like to see the next 10 years look like for me. Not only financially, but what in the heck I am going to be doing with myself to keep it interesting and fun (I’m still very big on fun).

Fortunately at work we have some tools at our disposal that will allow me to do just that. Things will always be fluid because life events dictate it, but at least I will have a road map to get me headed in the right direction on this journey.

Have you peaked?

Some people who were cool and popular peaked in high school. That wasn’t me fortunately because I was never as cool as I thought I was, and would like to think that peak is still out there somewhere.

Maturity allows for wisdom and most will say I am not mature at all but chronologically it allows me to be reflective and feel I have become more open-minded and less judgmental these days and happy and thankful for my lot in life.

That’s a good thing, right?

Well, enough rambling for now; I’m not making any promises but I’m sure I will at least remain in the somewhat invisible lurking mode for the immediate future. And you know what the man with the glass eye said when he removed it, “I’ve got my eye out for you,” so behave out there you kids and don’t forget to have some fun.

Oh no, not the birthday suit again

***Yes, this is the same post as last year with very little revisions; but that’s just the slug I am***

You say it’s your birthday

It’s my birthday too, yeah
They say it’s your birthday
We’re gonna have a good time
I’m glad it’s your birthday
Happy birthday to you.

Birthday’s are pretty cool; do you think birthday’s should rank higher than Christmas (if you do Christmas)? I mean, it is your day after all, why not celebrate all of your awesomeness, all.day.long.

Gifts, attention, parties, celebration; it’s all included. What’s not to like; sounds like the bonus round to me.

Yes, August 10th really is my birthday

And even doing a Friday post to proclaim it on this August 10th, 2012. Now, 2013 but it’s still a shameless plug for my bday. 

You’re a big fat turd Dorman; it always has to be all about you, doesn’t it? Yep, still a big do-do. 

Yes, I suppose; but in a somewhat understated way so it doesn’t seem so obvious. That makes it quasi-acceptable, right?

How old are you?

No, the question is, how old are you?

What if I said quelve? That sounds like a little kid’s number to me. Well, if the shoe fits I suppose.

I guess it’s obvious I have some miles on me if I have been working at the same place for close to 30 years. But I haven’t been ‘rode hard and put up wet;’ so there is still some life left in this temple ol’ body. I hit the 30 milestone this year, so yep, still old. 

True story; I got carded at a minor league baseball game last week when I was buying beer. The first words out of my mouth were ‘thank you.’ The guy behind the counter replied ‘we card anybody 40 and under.’ I said ‘thank you’ again and gave him a $5 tip. I don’t have a better story to replace this with so it stays…

No, I don’t look 40 or under but I won’t walk away from a compliment either.

I’ve still got game in case you were wondering however….just ask me.

Is it a milestone birthday?

Nope; just a tweener. But it’s still my birthday so it’s special enough for me. Still not a milestone, but that’s good because the next one isn’t that cool like the other ones…:).

What was your favorite birthday?

For me, it was when I turned 10 yrs old. Growing up, we were only about two missed paychecks from being poor white trash, but I certainly didn’t have a clue. And so what if my grandmother made me a dress shirt I actually wore. It earned me the name woodchuck the one (and only) time I wore it. How many chucks can a woodchuck chuck anyway?

Needless to say, we didn’t throw many parties at Casa de la Dorman. Being the 3rd of 4 children, I was lucky to get hand-me downs. Which sucked of course since they were coming from my two older sisters, but I still didn’t shave my legs so don’t even go there. Still true…

Seeing that I was being deprived, for my 10th birthday my parents decided it would be a good thing for me to have a real birthday party at the house.

Lo and behold, friends showed up….with presents….too cool….

Maybe I could have more than one birthday a year, huh?

In a tie for second, I have had 3 milestone birthdays since I have been married. My wife had a surprise party for me on every one of them and can honestly say I was totally surprised every time.

I might have been born Wednesday, but obviously, it wasn’t last Wednesday…:). What? Whadda mean there is no Santa?

How about you? What was your most memorable one?

Did you just do another post all about you?

Is the Pope Catholic?

I just wanted to make sure you didn’t forget. In lieu of a card with money in it, you can make a direct deposit to my HeyPal account; I will do a shot of Patron for each and every deposit I receive. My HeyPal account is still open so feel free to keep the money coming. 

You suck Dorman

Yes, I really do, but it is my birthday, right? I can do what I want to.

That.is.all.

Being internet famous in a brick and mortar world

What does that mean? I still have to take out my garbage and cut my grass…yes, I still cut my grass. I know it’s old school, but it’s exercise too.

I still pay full price at Starbucks even though I tweet about them all the time as being my daily destination.

And just because I ride around town with my Burger King Social Media Crown on, people still won’t let me out in traffic. I just wish if they were going to wave at me, they would show all their fingers…….

The only thing I autograph when I am out in public is the bill at the restaurant and even then, I’m prone to get alligator arms when it is presented; right, Adam?

Wait a second Dorman, who said you were internet famous? Aren’t you less than zero?

I want to be a rock star, live large, drive big cars…..

Ok, but what does it really mean?

It doesn’t mean Jack Squat

That’s not really true; I know I like the fact certain people know my name, whether they are big time or not.

But the reality is, the only people who are keeping score are the people in here. And guess what? We are one and the same…what do you think about that?

Circular mutual admiration society? Can you say echo chamber? Weren’t you that guy/girl in high school?

But look at my reach

No chit Sherlock; at one time it was over 26 million in just Triberr alone; now dropping, but it is a self-imposed clean-up. That alone should be able to get me elected as mayor ofsomething, don’t you think? How quick do you think the front porch lights would go out if I started asking my reach for a campaign contribution?

Easy big boy, don’t bite the hand that feeds you…

But I have the secret sauce

Really? I don’t want to hurt your feelings, but you are kinda lookin’ like everybody else in here. I mean, you are talented and all that, and nobody will deny you aren’t trying hard, but I’m not feeling it. From what I can tell, there can only be one next big thing, and I’m pretty sure that is going to be me.

Have you noticed how some can pull off this trying hard thing and it’s admirable, but others doing the same thing and it’s just too much or it just doesn’t have a good feel to it? And the harder they try the more it smells?

Why is that? Is it personality? Sincerity? Perceived social standing?

Think about this, would you rather be rich or popular? And what is rich?

Perspective

Do you think one million dollars is a lot of money?

A kid I coached in little league just signed a guaranteed $32.5 million dollar deal, do you think he’s feeling rich right about now?

Did you see the list of 1,426 billionaires in the world? I know one of them; personally. They live less than 2 miles from me; I coached one of their sons in basketball; and see them out socially usually once a month.

That’s B as in billion, that’s more than 999 million: I don’t think anyone needs to tell them, they know they are rich.

Fortunately, their riches do not have to come with celebrity and they can still do normal things like going out to eat and attending social events.

I’ll bet that standing shrinks your peer group by quite a bit, huh? Do you think you would have to buy some friends just so you have someone to play with? The spouse still works BTW.

How about a little test then

  1. Would you rather be rich or famous, and if it’s rich, what is your number?
  2. Would you be satisfied as a one hit wonder, or be ok with a lifetime of average?
  3. Have you made the quantum leap from being to doing in social yet?

Conclusion

Offline online, does it really even matter? And just like being rich (or not), how famous is enough? So famous you need an entourage to even go out in public? How fun would that be?

If the more famous I became, online or offline, gave me more credibility and Klout to do some good things for others, then that would be pretty cool.

What are you going to do with your internet fame?

PS – this might be the Whoomp, there it is post; I’m less than 20 from hitting 10,000 comments…who’s the big dog now, huh?…:)

Unarmed but dangerous, leave your clothes in the car

Have you ever walked into an appointment naked? Would you be surprised if I told you I have? Be different, stand out, right?

A little history

In my world of commercial insurance, you (our agency) have to be appointed by the insurance company before you can represent them and sell their products. Whereas Lanier Upshaw, Inc represents most of the major players, there are one or two we don’t have access to. Which is par for the course, because if you represent a carrier they are going to want a certain amount of business and with so many mouths to feed you have to draw the line somewhere.

Because of this, you might do all the leg work and have the opportunity to work on a really great account only to find out they are already with the carrier you represent and their business is so specialized there is only one other viable market out there and guess what? You don’t represent them…….

Well, that sucks.

When I say viable, I mean not only do we have to be able to put all the proper coverages in place, it has to be somewhat affordable as well. I can find coverage for just about anything, but it might come with a scary price tag if I don’t have the right market for it.

What can be that specialized?

Actually, quite a few risks, but this one in particular builds launch towers at Cape Canaveral as one part of their scope of operations.

Two words that will send traditional underwriters running for the hills are NASA and nuclear. If your prospect does anything with either, then your market selection just became very, very narrow.

Why did you chase this account then?

One of my customers does some steel work for them so I could at least use their name to get me in the door. It was then I found out the extent of their operations and the very limited market availability.

But by then, we already had a couple of meetings and they had supplied quite a bit of information for me. And oh yeah, they are located an hour and a half away from my office.

And guess what? They had been with the market we don’t represent but recently switched to the one we did. Therefore, I did not have a single viable option for them in terms of comparison.

It would have been very easy to call them and say “sorry for wasting your time, but we don’t have anything.”

Business owners hate that. The whole insurance process is already distasteful and the fact they let you in the door they are expecting you to come up with something.

What did you do?

I left my clothes in the car. I had absolutely nothing to offer other than myself so they might as well see my fat white ass in all its glory, huh? It sure is cold in here…

Actually, I knew they had a long term relationship with their broker and it would be tough to break this relationship but I essentially had nothing to lose. I made the appointment and went over with nothing a proposal that was a duplicate of what they already had with the company we represent and advised them if they want to do business with me, they would have to fire their guy and give me the keys to the car before I walk out the door.

Pretty bold, huh?

Well, it didn’t go down exactly like that, but pretty close. They were somewhat shocked when they opened the proposal and it had no pricing, and then I commenced to tell them my plan. We had some good give and take and some good questions were asked and it turned out to be a very informative meeting.

Sounds like a waste of time, what did you learn?

First of all, my ploy did not work; they had no reason to fire their guy and me coming in bare did not help, regardless of what I had to say.

But here is what I did learn:

  • Respect people’s time; if nothing else, by me showing up it showed I did appreciate the opportunity regardless of the results.
  • It left the door open for future opportunities and insurance is fickle enough it can create opportunities just because
  • Don’t be afraid to make the ask. This time it was no, but I made them tell me to my face.
  • E-mails and texts make it too easy at times; don’t be afraid to get that face to face meeting regardless of how uncomfortable it might be. It’s usually never as bad as you think it’s going to be…unless it’s your dentist…
  • Don’t be afraid to keep swinging; you will never get a hit if you don’t at least get up to bat.
  • Finally, don’t be afraid to ask “if you were in my shoes, what would you do?” You’d be surprised the dialogue you can get from this question.

Were you really naked?

Kind of as I did not have one thing to offer other than myself. But one thing I have been taught to do is when it looks like your sales call is going absolutely nowhere and you have nothing to lose, just drop your drawers…kidding of course. What I enjoy is going into low risk practicing and I might ask the darnedest thing that has nothing to do with our meeting. This too will get some interesting dialogue; try it sometime, what do you have to lose at that point, right?

We’re going streaking; everyone is doing it…

The mother of all lists; the list of One

Do you still get excited when someone rolls out best of lists? Happy face when you see your name, sad face when not?

Are you truly happy for your friends who make it, or do you want to poke them in the eye?

Or just kind of sad; depends on how long you have been doing this blogging gig. That kind of stuff used to bug me to no end but now that I am a grizzled social media veteran with a hide like whit leather, that kind of stuff just rolls right off my back.

I said veteran not Guru, because a real grizzled veteran would never utter the words guru.

A good test for me might be, did appearing on the list make my phone ring, did somebody pay me? If not, then fuhgetaboutit.

There is a remedy however, have your own list, a list of ‘one’ and only include yourself; that will certainly show them won’t it?

Trust me, if I thought it wouldn’t clear the house, I would showcase me every week.

What? You think I already do, why I never……

Why not a list of one?

If you aren’t going to have an actionable item list, which is much more attractive than a name list, why not toot your own horn?

Ewwww, that’s kind of creepy. I suppose it can be; it all depends on how you go about doing it. Obviously it never slowed me down….:).

I know, we all want to sit back and let our awesomeness be discovered. You want to be that humble shoe shine boy discovered on the street corner so you can become the next big thing.

Please don’t make me sell myself.

If I have to tell everyone how great I am, will anyone believe me? What if I get all my friends to talk about me instead?

Do you walk the walk?

Talk is cheap; and we certainly know some talkers in here, don’t we?

If you walk the walk and not make it all about you, then your friends and community will talk about you….in a good way.

When you get down in the weeds with most of us bloggers, it really can be hard to get noticed. At this level we all kind of look the same at times don’t we?

What are you doing to stand out? Is your plan of action sound? If you want to be published or hit the speaking tour, what are you doing right now to make that happen?

Are you comfortable enough to verbalize your plan of action so your community can be your accountability partner?

More times than not opportunities have to be created and this can be done through who you know or reaching out to the right people in the field you want to be known in. If you are an unknown, don’t despair; stick to your plan and don’t let the first or second rejection thwart your efforts.

If you think you can do it all on your own, then certainly keep up your push marketing campaign and don’t give a second thought about what it takes to pull people to you.

Is that knock at the door the take-back man, or is it opportunity? Are you going to let it in?

___*___*___*___*___*___

Status update: On October 31, 2011, I posted about my quest for 10,000. $10,000 dollars; 10,000 followers; 10,000 tweets and 10,000 comments. I don’t recall if I was trying to accomplish this by the end of the year or if I was giving myself a year. Either way, here are my results:

  • Well, I just looked in my wallet and now I have $16 which is down from the $37 I had in October. Looks like I will be pushing to make it in one year.
  • My followers have gone from appx 1,000 to 1,943. Yes, I might only know about 7 of these new followers, but since I turn away at least 3 out of every 5 it might take me awhile to hit my numbers.
  • Tweets – I have gone from 5,745 to 12,551; yay, I made goal. For someone who really doesn’t tweet unless it is tweeting someone else’s post, that sure looks like a lot of tweets, doesn’t it?
  • Comments – this has gone from 3,504 to 34,825* Ok, there is some funny math going on because I have counted spam comments too. The real number is 8,017.

So now what is the point?

I’m not sure. On one level it shows that I can still stink it up with the best of them; but on another, it might give an outsider the perception I actually have a plan and know what I”m doing.

If nothing else, I’m still here and making some progress.

The reality is, these kind of numbers will not get you noticed, if getting noticed is one of your objectives.

So I’m putting the ball in your court; please tell all your friends and family you have discovered the greatest thing since sliced bread.

For every verifiable referral that signs on with me; you will get $3 worth of HeyPal dollars, redeemable for a discounted annual subscription to my site. 27 referrals and your first year will practically be free.

Aren’t I the bestest?

That.is.all.

Wag more, bark less…

There is nothing wrong with being happy; I promise, it’s ok.

How much fun can it be going through life with a chip on your shoulder all.the.time? No wonder you don’t fit in; you can be about as pleasant as a fart in an elevator.

Why all the attitude? If it’s because the way people treated you in high school or something, get over it. That was a hundred years ago and nobody gives a rat’s ass. How can you see where you are going if you are living life always looking in the rear view mirror?

Why does everything seem as a personal affront to you; do you really think this big blue and green ball called earth revolves only around you?

Edgy and vulgar is ok and different for awhile, but that shtick is wearing pretty thin. You might as well be typing in all CAPS. It’s readable, but it damn sure gets annoying after awhile.

Take a deep breath, quit trying so hard.

But nobody will notice me

I get it, bad news and controversy sells. You have to be different, the trend setter, to stand out. And if you aren’t controversial then you are boring, right? Or so they say.

Do you really think you are a lightning rod?

It wears me out; entertain me and keep my interest; but if it feels so exhausting every time I visit, no thank you. I’m more interested in the real you, not some hyped-up, tatted up, screaming version.

Although that is kind of cool; just not so loud…:).

Your rants are not a call to action; it’s my drill sergeant back in basic telling me to drop down and give him 20. You have any idea how many push-ups I had to do in basic? If I went into battle hopefully a push-up contest would be the choice of weapon because then I might stand a chance.

Chill.

But this post sounds like a rant to me

So, you think this is hypocritical? I can tee-off on the loudmouths thinking my doodie don’t stink but it doesn’t apply to me?

Every time I write about what ticks me off, people just think I’m whining.

How endearing is that after awhile?

But I need a kick in the shorts sometimes

Sometimes we all need a wake-up call; our call to action. But every single day? If I am that much of a slacker, maybe I should perfect the art and start a post exclusively on slackerdom.

What? You thought I already mastered it?

Why I never…..

Come clean, what is this post really about?

There are a couple of barking dogs post I follow, that I’m really trying to warm up to because the bloggers have real talent. But everything is always with attitude and if you are not perceived to be a peer or colleague then essentially you are a nobody to them.

They publicly want your support, and your money in some instances, but there is little to no reciprocity. It’s all about them and never about you.

Wag more and bark less and maybe I’ll give you my credit card number.

No, I don’t want to be like you when I grow up.

I took it as a challenge at first, but the deeper I got in and harder I tried, the more it made me appreciate the community that hangs out here and what they have to offer.

If you get cussed here, it will ony be because your name is Mark Harai.

Just leave then

I am; I did….sorta…..it’s just hard for me to walk away from a challenge….:).

Nobody is going to get the best of me ya hear; did I mention my Kung-Fu grip?

There must be something to that style; they are still in my Reader as much as I try to ignore them.

Not my style

Truthfully, I don’t mind the edgy attitude. I read all types in here. If it’s working for you, then rant on. It’s just that shock jock thing is so yesterday isn’t it? I just doesn’t seem very original any more.

Show me something original, credible and sincere and I’m all in.

And if you are going to be loud and edgy maybe if take your clothes off too (no dudes…..just sayin’) that will help.

What? I’m not a pig; I just appreciate art and beauty……..:).

That just took a sordid turn

Yes it did and I’m sorry; that’s what I get for trying to write a post around a title. Whereas my buddy Mr J M Bell will help you Start Your Novel, I’m pretty thin trying to creat a post with a title only.

It sounded cute though, didn’t it?

If you feel a refund is in order just DM me and I’ll credit your account from HeyPal. It will get better next week; trust me, I’m a doctor.

That.is.enough.

That.is.all.

Being extremely average and everyone knows your name

Sorry Brian, even though I am not in active pursuit of your moniker anymore, it does fit me like a glove….and Brian is anything but average BTW.

Take this small quiz:

  • Who solved world hunger?
  • Who is responsible for establishing world peace?
  • Other than Al Gore, who can take credit for the internet?
  • Other than Edward Cullen, who’s figured out anti-aging?

What was your score?

You silly boy, those weren’t questions you could answer.  But what if we inserted ‘your’ name as one of the answers? Average No Mo, huh?

Are you the type that sits around wondering how you are going to let the world know you have all this greatness inside and why it can’t seem to find it’s way out? Do you have to be more creative; more passionate; or just plain luckier?

What if I had the answer?

Would you pay me $10 to discover the key? I still have my Hey Pal account and would be more than happy to share this with you for the nominal sum of $10.

Have you heard the expression ‘you can’t see the forest for the trees‘? Do you think it’s possible in your quest for greatness, you might be missing the obvious choices?

Fret no more; I will unlock your secret to greatness.

I trust you

This will be so earth shattering but obvious, I will go out on a limb and be generous enough to share this knowledge knowing you will be so impressed you will be more than willing to pay me after the fact.  And maybe feel compelled to even pay me more.

4 step process to be better than average

  1. Be on time.
  2. Do what you say you will do.
  3. Do it when you said you would, if not sooner.
  4. Say please and thank you.

Brilliant! You think I’m joking but I’m really not. Sounds pretty simple, but how many times have you been let down by someone not coming through and doing what they said they would do? More than once I’ll bet.

Do you just chalk it up to human nature; forgivable, right? How much better would it be if you didn’t say you would do something if you weren’t going to commit to it? How much do you think your extremely average self would stand out if you could be counted on to do what you said you would do; time after time?

I’m not perfect

Knowing how it feels when someone lets you down vs how good you feel when someone actually comes through for you should be your driver, right? I’ve been ‘that guy’ before, but I’m trying much harder not to be anymore.

How about you; do you think you would be way more than average if you could just stick to those 4 principles?

That’s all I got; enjoy.