Ok, most male baseball fans might have an inkling where this phrase originated and it certainly brings a deeper meaning to ‘taking one for the team.’ However, that particular meaning is not applicable here. This applies if you feel you are in a slump and trudging through each and every day; looking for a little magic.
More appropriately, it’s really about ‘what is your sweet spot?’ Where is that one spot on your driveway in your neighborhood pickup basketball game you can go to every time and know you are going to nail that basket? Every time…..
Lately though, everything you touch seems to turn to crap, so how do you get the planets back in alignment? Your confidence is at an all time low and you can’t even buy a good hair day.
You know it’s bad when Fido isn’t even happy to see you.
Shake it up
- Change your alarm clock by 15 minutes; one way or the other.
- Drive a different way to work.
- Comb your hair differently.
- Hug a stranger.
- Reach out to a friend you haven’t talked with in over 6 months.
- Don’t wear underwear for a day (ok you freaks, I know exactly which ones are going to come back and say you already go commando).
Will this really help?
Seriously? Want to buy some swamp land in Florida?
But I guess if nothing else seems to be happening for you, might as well try it, huh? Actually, if you don’t get slapped silly, hugging the stranger could be the most fun even if it doesn’t change anything.
All kidding aside, something needs to change doesn’t it?
What if I said, just change your attitude? Not to the ‘obnoxiously happy’ person. But dial it two clicks to the right just so your outlook is one of expectation and not dread.
Expect the best and not the worst. Even if you still get the worst at a particular time; know it’s fleeting.
I might not know all, but I can unequivocally with almost 100% certainty guarantee you life will go on whether you are ready or not. You can take that to the bank my friend.
But it’s so hard for me right now
And I am sympathetic to your plight; I wouldn’t want to wish it on anyone. But there is only one person who controls the switch and that is you.
If it doesn’t kill you, it will only make you stronger. Yeah, those are words of real comfort.
This I know as well; sometimes at our lowest ebb, when we’ve been beat down so much all we want to do is curl up in a ball; can be the impetus for us to achieve our greatest results.
Nobody said it will always be pretty or pleasant, but it’s still life and it will be attitude that determines how your persevere.
You are going through the motions doing something anyway, so do something that will keep you moving forward.
You didn’t make me feel any better
Hey, did you see motivational speaker anywhere in my About Me page? Otherwise, I would have had to charge for this advice……a lot…..
The gist of the post is you and only you control your happiness. If you are looking for it outside of yourself, waiting for someone else to do it for you, you are just setting yourself up for disappointment.
You are unique and pretty awesome enough; get comfortable in your own skin and rock on.
That.is.all.
billdorman 
Bill, I’ve noticed something (and it probably drives shrinks to drink): When someone’s unhappy, being told it’s a choice – that it’s all their own damned fault – may be accurate but is rarely well received.
Nevertheless, if you’re just preaching to the choir, here, it’s a good reminder. 🙂 Where are the old Romper Room, Captain Kangaroo, Mr. Rogers videos when you need them?
http://youtu.be/C0GyZwQFOW4 (This should be the “Rick-roll for Geezers”)
Shrinks drink? 😉
A lot…….or so I hear…………
D Van D, another classic.
Some just wallow in it expecting someone else to make them happy; if you aren’t clinically depressed then yes, I think it takes ‘you’ to change your outlook.
Romper Room indeed and here’s to not slumping…….:).
Good to see you Holly.
I’m going to draft off of Holly’s comment here, because I think this is what I would call 5% Advice. 95% of the people who need to hear it, don’t want to hear it. But it’s that 5% where it can make a difference — just like a good friend giving you a kick in the pants and telling you to “snap out of it.”
Yep, don’t have to have 100% buy-in, just enough to tip the scales. Same thing trying to put a ‘wellness’ program in a business to help control health care costs. If you changed the life of 30% of the people it would be a ‘win.’
PS, I’ll call you tomorrow; maybe we can meet up somewhere.
Continue and rock the things that move you forward – especially when the war is to be won inch by inch. Sage advice from the mild-manner Mr. Dorman, indeed.
And Bill does it like few others can and will.
Keep moving forward; it’s all we can do because nobody will do it for us……..
Thanks Stan.
Let’s Get Some Runs Bill!
(Don’t tell anyone, but he’s slow to his right. So if you go left, you can take him to the hoop eeeeeeeeee-zzzzzzzzzzzz!)
But I have a crossover that will buckle your knees…..
Desperately needed………………
OK, first of all…”male” baseball fans? Just bustin’ your chops.
Commando?…I’ll leave that one to my pals who I know will show up for that one:)
“Well lah dee frickin’ dah” in “a van down by the river”…I laughed so hard at that video that tears were running down my cheeks. “Whoopsa daisy”.
On a more serious note…choice, not chance, determines our destiny, and no matter how many times someone looks to blame external circumstances for their attitude, happiness (or lack therof) or station in life, it comes down to personal choice. Happiness is an inside-out job. If you’re not content at the core, no amount of clowns and balloons and unicorns will do anything but make you laugh for a moment, not live contentedly for a lifetime. Cheers! Snowshoes
If you rely on chance, then don’t be disappointed with what you end up with, right?
People just need to be careful about having too much ‘woe is me’ attitude. It will affect your whole outlook and you might not be too fun to be around.
If you Google slumpbuster you will see what I mean. Mark Grace from the Cubs coined it………
Hola.
He left out Canadian Baseball Fans!
Eh?
Optimism and perspective 😉
Those are some real good topics (And is very saturated due to the fact that many people just say – be optimistic and that’s it. That’s all they talk about).
Now, here is something different 😉
I have many cases in which looking or approaching the problem in a different perspective or way has helped me (and of course, I have seen others doing it too. Sometimes, it happens by accident, like insight. Others, I do it through conscious effort).
Now, as with changing things 😉
I love that. Experiment.
I try to do that everyday – at least, one thing.
Like today, instead of traveling the way I travel every day (From one class to another – I took a different route, it was good).
Nothing special there, but it was good.
The change. The flexibility.
And of course, I try to do something different with my own blog too (that’s the whole point of my blog – “break the rules” – do things differently).
It all adds up.
Knowledge. Chance. Attitude. Experience.
::runs by and hugs Jeevan, who looks at Holly like she’s just gotten a little stranger::
w00t! Right you were, Bill – and I didn’t even have to pop my personal space bubble to do that! LOL
How much stranger?
Depends on how strange you thought I was to start with.
Your answer lifts the inintllgeece of the debate.
😉
Good to see you here, Holly 😀
I’m guessing you fit right in with the rest of us………….:)
Absolutely; and just because you say you are going to be happy doesn’t necessarily make it so. Sometimes just a little change in the routine can open up new opportunities or at least provide a different attitude. Essentially, if it’s not working, change it up in some way.
Good to see you sir, thanks for dropping by.
Agree with that, Bill (but, we could always be perceived -by ourselves – of being happy . And, that’s the first step, right? Thinking that we are happy?
Jeevan, it doesn’t matter if others perceive you as happy – happiness is, in itself, a PERSONAL perception of one’s own mood, mindset, well-being. Wednesday Addams was happy in her own way, so long as people didn’t try to force her to be cheerful. 😉
Oh, I didn’t mean others 😉 I meant our perception of ourselves being happy 😉
Here you go, Jeevan. 😉 http://youtu.be/aCNOPFtKu4M
If you can believe it, it can be so. Therefore, if you perceive yourself to be happy, regardless of what others think, then it can be so. I think it’s a lot easier to get there thinking good/happy thoughts instead of the opposite, right?
I’m just so happy to be one of the first 100 comments for a change. This is what happens when you get up before noon.
When I get in that kind of slump, I try to learn something new and enlightening. Well, new to me. I’m just about to finish “The E Myth Revisited” on Kaarina Dillabough’s recommendation. When something gives you a new point of view, it’s easier to move forward and leave that slump behind.
Please leave your nickel in the coffee can.
Noon is way too early for me. My slacker self prefers to do this dance around 3 PM.
That’s because you are still writing way past midnight……..:).
Yep, some nights I don’t stop until 3 or 4.
You are a machine………
Noon is kinda early; especially to be thinking…….
Change it up, try something different, read something worthwhile; just find a way to get out.of.the.rut.
The nickel is their Chief.
You again!
Absolutely…..
Wow, Bill. I didn’t know that you lived in a Van Down By The River…
Thanks for the pep talk. I agree, shaking it up is a good thing every so often. Getting in a rut can be boring and mind-numbing. Variety is the spice of life, right?
Perhaps more cowbell would be an appropriate remedy as well?
Routine can be comforting, but ‘too’ routine can turn into a rut.
I experience slumps from the sales side where every deal seems to slip away. Sometimes that is the perfect opportunity to talk to someone new instead of the usual ‘suspects’ in your pipeline. The key is to not throw in the towel.
More cowbell is always a slumpbuster…….
At last some raoantility in our little debate.
Gosh, I love what I do because I never get in a slump.
I’ve been so happy since working online and knowing that I’m responsible for my own future. No salary coming until I’m the one doing something about it but the process has been a blast.
I feel for those people who get themselves in a slump and your suggestions are spot on. Of course I’ll have to agree with Holly on this one. Most people don’t want to hear that it’s their fault and only they can do something about it. Oh heck, grow up already and just do it anyway. No one is in charge of your life but you. Put on the big boy pants and let’s get going already!
We’ve all seen people hit the wall in here, and sometimes they just need to step back to give themselves a better perspective.
It’s good when you control your own destiny because then you can’t blame anybody else, can you?
Big boy pants indeed……
Happiness is really is in our hands. Wish many more knew that. I know people who find it tough to make ends and still manage to be happy. They tell me that happiness is a state of mind.
I can’t always control the things in my life but I can always control how I feel about it. And once you start taking the responsibility for your own actions; life will be easier, for yourself and for others too! 🙂
Have a great weekend!
Well said doctor; the one thing you can control (for the most part) is how you feel about it. Taking responsibility and not always looking to someone else to create your happiness is a good outlook indeed.
Be happy with you first, comfortable in your own skin and then go from there.
Good to see you .me.
Still working on the transfer and a few technical hiccups! Being .me is tough! 😉
“Being .me is tough!” I LOVE it!!
It’s not easy being .me!
.me, myself, and I
Let .me entertain you
Oh, the possibilities.
You should go .me too! 😉 You convinced me to go with my name for the website; let me convince you to go .me! 😉
Haha 😉
I have been thinking about buying a new domain (myname.com), your transfer gives me an idea, Hajra (I might join the .me club :D). Let’s see.
My name at .com was at sale for 800$. I’d rather go on about .me than shell out that money…
Go .me and then thank Bill; he started it! 😉
Inrtamfoion is power and now I’m a !@#$ing dictator.
Hahahahah…I chose .us on purpose, and I like it. First, I’m IN the US. Second, it’s a more inclusive “us” – not just “me” – if any of my family members want to use the domain for their email addresses. But this is exactly why I suggested you switch – hajra.me is so much more “you” than hajrakvetches – which was cute, but sort of pigeonholed you into a strange whine and complain mode with oddly Yiddish origins – and that really doesn’t fit you at all. It really didn’t even fit your BLOG, most of the time. People – particularly PERSONAL bloggers – should really think about whether their domain name is a good fit for the person or niche they want to be in the blogosphere.
I didn’t literally mean myname.com Hajra 😉 Just jeevanjacobjohn.com 🙂 Still waiting – Let’s see if I will win the BE contest (I could come in 3rd after both of you or I would have to try again this month :D).
If I do win, .me for sure 😉
So, there is an explanation for you choosing .us, Holly? I just thought you did it for fun 😉
By the way, I have left a reply for your comment reply on your post (let’s get some philosophy kickin’ there with Descartes and nothingness being the first subject!)
Big shoes to fill, huh?
US is good, but me all you have to do is dot me………….:).
You can probably tell I’ve been out of pocket for 3 days, but I do appreciate you keeping the party going while I made a beer run…………..:)
Hey, things are a little bit complicated around me at the minute but I couldn’t be happier!
I shook things up a lot last year when I gave up work and my wife just shook things up some more when she took on her new role at work.
I don’t want any more shaking up at the moment thanks!
How much does swamp land go for in Florida these days by the way?
A dollar three eighty seven an acre……..
There is definitely some swamp land to still be had.
Change can be good; however sometimes in small bites is better, huh?
You’ll get there sir; keep moving forward.
I saw you bid on A-Rod’s house in Miami. Would you be a Marlins fan after you move?
If Ozzie will get me front row seats………..
Those folks just need to snap out of it. I don’t have sympathy for the rut. A little commando does always help :-).
Or, just plain streaking will do the trick too……………I prefer the dark, not in the middle of a public event however……….:).
It’s like golf. Most people suck at it but if you love the game you play and always with the anticipation of that killer good round. If you consider the slight degree of error in the game and the factors; terrain, wind, you mental state, the amount of beer you have consumed (well,maybe), etc it is extremely difficult to succeed to a level that is anything but average. The margin of error is so slight.
However! Then there is the birdie hole, the round under 90 or 80 or whatever you average is that makes you feel like you are on top of the world. It keeps you coming back and when you have that feeling the thing we rarely think about is that it was only because of your own ability and the choices you made to get there.
It’s those moments that make it all worthwhile and the more you believe it the more often they happen.
It’s good thing I don’t try to make money from golf because if I did I would live in a van down by the river and eat government issue cheese.
No one sucks at golf, We are all scratch golfers. We just humor slackers like Tiger Woods so he thinks he is good. When I played at the Tampa TPC with Bill we had 13 hole in ones each after 14 holes and were told to stop humiliating the pros who were playing behind us.
So, that’s how it works. I didn’t get the manual then and I have been told lies all along.
Of course, before every tee shot we would say ‘that’s good’ and move on to the next hole and pop the top on another cold beer. It sure speeds up the round.
More gubment cheese………….if you expend enough effort to not only have fun but push yourself a little to do your best then it can be very enjoyable. However, keep it in perspective as you are not putting food on the table with your efforts.
Golf is a game you can get good at, and some get really good; but it’s a game you can never truly master. The Golf gods are always lurking to keep you humble…..
Sorry the delay, but I’ve been out and w/out a computer since Thursday.
Wise words, Bill. On a personal note, I’d like to add that it’s easier to align oneself with the planets.
I am given to routines. Sometimes to shake things up I invent a new routine and discard an old one. It helps. Like, right now, I’m in the process of forcing my hair to look decent (it has a will of its own). This has preoccupied me a great deal, which is all to the good, because I have less time to worry about potentially depressing stuff.
Hey maybe when you get the hair working you can showcase it with a new Avatar and maybe even do a post about it; how it was the tipping point to greatness.
Sometimes the planets are cooperative and sometimes not so much so…….depends on what kind of karma you have working I suppose.
I just take a nap.:) Mine has been a few hours long today and I’m not done yet. I love reading your posts. You always make me laugh.
I really don’t understand looking to other people or outside of yourself for happiness. That would be someone else’s happiness. Right?
Back to bed…
Naps are cool; why did we fight them so much as kids……..
Others might entertain you, but never rely solely on them for your happiness because eventually they will let you down.
How are you? So good to see you; hope you have been well.
I’ve been really well..struggling with decisions. But who isn’t?? Guess what? t’s time to go back to sleep again. LOL! But I had a really good afternoon with my mom, giving my dad a haircut, and meeting with old friends and new! Take care and keep writing! I’m enjoying reading!!
Dang dude; ya got me all jacked up with this post 😮
Bill got some tricks in his bag : )
You keep slippin a little more of yourself here and there… It’s getting confusing – LOL!
Your friend,
Mark
In his bag, up his sleeve, under his hat; you just never know when all this brilliance will shine, huh? Did I ever tell you I was so bright my dad used to call me sun?
Good to see you sir; trying to catch up from 3 days off the grid.
I know I am late – any coffee left? Don’t know how I missed this (I am blaming my FIL) 😀
I am with you one hundred per cent Bill. Happines IS a DIY project and we have a choice whether we want to admit it, acknowledge it or not.
😀 Loved this post. Yes, you’ve got a vocation as a motivational speaker! Hugs, Vidya