No way Jose, I’m so freaking epic you should count yourself lucky being able to read this much of my stuff…….for free no less….
Let’s wrap it up, you lost me after the 3rd paragraph. Oh wait, that wasn’t 3 paragraphs, that was 1 paragraph 3 pages long.
I can’t even skim this; hopefully I can pick up enough keywords to at least leave an intelligent comment. I might be better off just reading the comments to see what was said and offer some of the same thoughts. Just keep that ballpoint pen away though because I’m likely to just jam it in my ear to make this pain stop.
I really want to like you, I really do; but you are requiring too much of a commitment and I don’t even know if I want to have coffee with you.
Can’t you condense some of those thoughts? I promise, I will act like it’s interesting.
Look who’s calling the kettle black Dorman, I had the suicide hotline on speed-dial reading your
crap post. You have truly mastered the art of taking 3 paragraphs to say something that could have been said in 1.
But I thought there was a minimum word count………
Your blog is too short
Nope, don’t think that is possible. My buddy Mr J M Bell has this down to a science with his Start Your Novel blog. He will give you the prompt and you can run with it from there. Of course, I never have anything relevant or intelligent to say at his place, but he tolerates me hanging around.
Your blog is just
582 words. According to all social media statistics, this is the perfect length for a blog. Not 581; not 583, but 582.
If you can nail the word count and post on Monday morning at 7:33 EST you will automatically see a 26% jump in readership. If you duplicate this on Thursday morning but change the time to 8:02 EST you will be off the chart.
How do I know this is true? This is the internet isn’t it? Nuff said…….
It also might help if you actually have a story and not some meandering ‘oh god I am so lost‘ script that you eventually have to wrap it up with something witty so the post wasn’t a total waste; but hitting the number is much more important.
Don’t get too hung up worrying about quality. Nobody cares…………
I think you are pulling my leg
Really? Don’t you know where you are? Yes, this is the house of Dorman and mi nombre es Guillermo (that’s my name is Bill, or William….in Spanish….in case you didn’t know).
If you are skeptical, give it a try; but just remember, you have to hit all the numbers. Even being off by one word or minute can be the difference between penthouse and living in a van down by the river.
You are full of
Full of something I’m afraid; probably more full of myself than anything else.
If you think reading this post was a complete waste of time, then you will have to take it up with my agent. I knew social could be fickle, but if I’m going to have to deal with a bunch of haters, then I will probably just shut off my comments….and drop you as a follower too.
That.is.all. 582 words exactly…..count them….