2 seconds from oblivion

Dog days of summer indeed. Summer reminds me of simpler times (if there was really  such a thing); of lazy days, vacations, and playing; always playing.

Even now as adults (I didn’t say grown-ups because some of us are not there yet), it is the time you usually plan your vacations, unwind, recharge, get away from it all.

What if you like the time off too much and don’t come back at all? What if it’s six months instead of one week?

I’m only pretty sure I can’t take it anymore

Ok, maybe just today but what if it does turn into one week, one month, one year? We all go through the up and down cycles in here, do you plow through or back off?

Is there anything I am going to miss?

Absolutely, I have made some really great friends through social. Forget about whether they are real or not; they are real enough for me and if any of you turn out to be an ax murderer, I live in a gated neighborhood so you might have trouble getting to me anyway.

I wonder how it’s going to be when you don’t know me anymore

Remember that guy? Who? He used to be somebody, right?

Way back in my early days I did a post about friends vs acquaintances. It came down to who you could count as your true friends; those who you would invite to a party; and then just people you know and are cordial with at social events.

The best analogy I’ve heard was from Dino Dogan who said ‘I have 10 friends who will help me move furniture, but only 2 who will help me move a body.’

Sure, we will still know you; but if you move out of the neighborhood, it just won’t be the same.

I wonder how it’s going to be when it goes down?

This sounds like a swan song, doesn’t it? Don’t worry, that’s really not my style; I’m the guy who slips out the back door so I don’t have to run the gauntlet telling everyone good bye. I’ll just be gone and leave with the caveat, ‘you just never know where I might turn up. ‘

Real life is calling

I won’t lie; social has turned me into a toad. I could easily lose 10 lbs, if not 15. Well, not easily lose them, but I need to make them go away.’ My problem is I like to eat….a lot and my activity level has not kept pace with my voracious appetite. I do go to the gym 3-4 times a week, but the effort I have been putting in is not keeping pace with the grub.

Going forward; I currently have the golf bug again. Whereas you wouldn’t think riding in a cart for 18 is much exercise, but when it’s 96 degrees and 100% humidity in the middle of a swamp, it sure feels like a workout.

Tennis; I’m playing once a week (at night) with a good friend of mine. As long as I can keep my feet and legs healthy we will continue to play singles.

Running; Why does it feel like I’m carrying a piano on my back when I run now? I have committed to running in the Disney 1/2 marathon in January as part of a wellness initiative my largest client is implementing at their place of business. The health insurance carrier is paying for it and will have participants and that has extended to me, the broker as well. I think there will be at least 7 from my office.

Biking; instead of going home and getting that cold, delicious, nice sparkling glass of wine, I’m committed to getting my tired, fat ass out 2-3 times a week after work.

Swimming; fuhgetaboutit. I tried it and I hate it; if you think running is boring, swimming is a snoozer. At least with running you can just walk anytime you feel like it.

Fat boy likes to eat too much so I had to do something; I’m not ready to buy new pants yet.

So, just do it then

As we all know, there are only so many hours in a day. However, I want to make sure I fully enjoy my in real life activities, so they will be taking a higher priority than my social online activities.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot to mention my day job. I might have some exciting news here in the next couple of weeks, and if I do, it will be something that takes an additional time and attention commitment from me as well.

So, are you gone?

Nope, but I have thought about it. I’m the 30-yr guy, remember? I don’t let go of things easily; however, I have visioned what the landscape looks like without me; pretty barren, huh? Yeah right, in my dreams…..

I love you guys, you are my thread.



60 thoughts on “2 seconds from oblivion

  1. ‘I have 10 friends who will help me move furniture, but only 2 who will help me move a body.’ That is brilliant – in a creepy sort of way. I’m not even sure I have 10 friends who would help me move furniture. Sheesh.

    You’re not going anywhere Bill! Go hit some balls and chill out for a bit. Before summer is over!

    • Yeah, 10 friends? That was when I was young, single and fun. Today I’m grateful that my father-in-law and I get along.

      You want to lose 15 pounds Bill, all you have to do is walk for an hour every morning. You have time, I can tell by how often you post. Besides, it’s great time for thinking about web posts.

      Heck, even I do it every day. Well, most days. Well, a couple times of week.

      • I hear ya Barrett; I have a great relationship with my father-in-law and I would bet he would be one of the two to help me move that body……:).

        I just lost my way in the gym and wasn’t motivated. I hadn’t stepped on a scale since last December and when I finally hit it yesterday and it said 193, that was a yikes for me. I didn’t need a scale to tell me however; the snug pants did. The motivation is back, I’ll get it done.

        It’s funny you mention web posts, because I probably think about them more than anything else. Man, if somebody would just pay me for all this, huh?

        I think I’m going to take the chair out of my office; that will motivate me.

        Good to see you sir.

    • I do have two friends who would help me move a body; no questions asked and I would probably do the same for them…:).

      I’m just trying to figure out if my ‘anywhere’ is a total blackout for a week or two or not. I feel my hold is so tenuous at times, going away for two weeks might be my tipping point.

      I am a social guy however, it’s hard for me to stay away from the people, especially the friends I have made.

      I will take your advice however, I am going to go hit some balls; over and over and over and over…….

      Good to see you.

  2. Oh yes, I love the summer.

    This is the first summer since I gave up work to look after the kids. My wife has 2 months off for the summer holidays so it’s a great time to spend with the family.

    Just watching swimming on the TV. It is the Olympics afterall. But, yeah, hey I’m with you on the boring. Zzzzzzzz. What? My wife just informed me swimming is one of the best workouts for you. Hmmmm.

    Final thought, get off that golf cart and walk around the course Bill!

    • I know, it is one of the best and it frustrates me I can’t make myself like it. I have tried several times but it’s just not happenin’ for me.

      It’s not that I couldn’t walk 18 in 96 degree heat and 100% humidity; I would just be walking alone and being the social guy that I am, I need my buds……..:).

      Hey, maybe I can give up work and just work out all the time………

      Good to see you.

    • I am going to see the single A affiliate of the Tigers play tonight. It’s a Chamber thing and it’s all the food you can eat. I think I will turn it into a hot dog eating contest.

      I might sneak out Friday for the golf; there is a local muni course I can play 9 for 9.

      Big game James finally comes through when he finds out he won’t be traded. They will still lose him when they have to shell out $9 mil a year for him.

  3. I love this post, Bill. I’ve been feeling super tempted to pull back even further too. Not for the exercise – I’m doing okay working that in, but i just spend wayy too much time at the computer. It ain’t fittin!

    I hope you don’t pull back too far though. I’d have to run off and hunt you down, and I definitely don’t have the time for that!

    • It will be just one other thing on your ‘to-do’ list, huh? Comparatively speaking, I’m spending about 25% of the time online than I used to. Once I settled into the blog and commenting, everything else just fell by the wayside.

      IF I’m going to be highly visible in social, it needs to be ‘business’ related and I think I would rather gargle bees…….I do enough ‘business’ as it is, can’t I have a ‘fun’ outlet?

      I’m hanging on, it’s just some days I wonder why? I certainly have plenty to do as it is.

      BTW – it was you that inspired me to sign up for the 1/2 marathon. I’ve run 3 times since I made the commitment and let’s just say it hasn’t been pretty….:).

      Good to see you, thanks for stopping by.

  4. This sounds vaguely familiar;) “If it all disappeared tomorrow…” well, you know what I said.

    Many of us have reflected on the whole world of “social”…the time it takes, the value it provides, the acquaintances we’ve met and the friends we’ve made. But if it all disappeared tomorrow…I wonder how truly affected we’d be. I’m not talking about those who’ve put their eggs in the basket of running a predominately online business. But then again…I wonder how small or large or successful that group really is.

    Go…run, golf, play tennis and snowshoe. (Oh yeah, I forgot. No snow. But maybe you could invent sand snowshoe-ing…as an Olympic sport!)

    Speaking of which; I’m a bundle of sappy tears as I watch the Olympics. I clench my muscles and point my toes as I literally go through the events, in my mind, with the athletes. I feel the pride swell with the raising of the flag. I don’t care if others see an underbelly in it all. I.love.the Olympics. I always will.

    So, like Howie said: Don’t leave me. I will cry. Cheers! Snowshoes P.S. Put me on speed dial when you need help with that body

    • Maybe snowshoes will work in beach sand too.

      I liken my current existence in social to attending a networking event. I rarely tire of those type of social settings, so I’m sure if I keep that mindset it will allow me to survive in here. The challenge is seeing everybody I know playing while I’m sitting on the sidelines.

      I’ll bet the Olympics hold a special place for you, especially since you were able to experience it. Looking back, do you think you fully appreciated it for what is was during the time you were ‘in it?’

      I’m still contemplating a ‘black-out’ period, but I doubt I will just go away.

      Yes, I do plan on getting plenty of ‘play’ in while I get this tired ol’ fat white carcass back in shape. I actually like working out, so that makes it easier, I just have to work out enough….:)

      • I totally and completely appreciated the Olympic experience while I was there, both in 1976 and 1984. It’s why, regardless of anything anyone says, I know that the “spirit” of the Games is entrenched in the hearts of the athletes who compete clean, for personal best, and whose overwhelm (win or lose) is so palpable. The story of the U.S. female gold medalist in judo, and the picture of her on the podium, speaks to triumphant spirit and accomplishment. I could go on and on…if only everyone embraced the spirit of being the best they can be, we’d all be Olympians in business and in life. Cheers! Snowshoes

  5. First, let me out myself as a slacker who ain’t even lurked lately: Nice ‘new’ theme dude. Second, let me out myself as a slacker who gets it: I’ve been making time to walk on the treadmill – by watching TV on the iPad as I walk. Third, I can report that in LA we do in fact have swamps and gators and probably more than few bodies there. And friends.. I’d sometimes settle for a ride to the airport. 😉

    I get it, I do. I’m blogging and tweeting and Booking less Face time – so much offline life getting in the way too; it’s all real to me. But times it’s too real and I need to get going – or else. Push is coming to shove; I keep thinking I need to walk soon if I don’t get more from this (code for jobs, clients) but the truth is, I do get a lot from social, from writing and chatting – b/c I put in the time. Not sure how it’ll be when I figure it all out. Would I even know what that would look like? Could I walk away – blogs, social networks, leave it all behind? IDK. Unless I win the lottery, then I’ve never heard of you. 😉 FWIW.

    • Holy Schmoley, look who’s here…..:). Hola my Rajun’ Cajun…..oops, I meant Bengal Tiger. For me, going through a big change on my site is just changing the theme, real edgy, huh? Hey, it’s still a free site; I can only do so much.

      As I told Kaarina, what I’m doing in here is not much different than I would be doing at a networking or social event. Talking, engaging, learning but without the pressure that I HAVE to make the sale, that I HAVE to pass out all my business cards. I know there are better ways to be an ‘effective’ networker, but I have my style and it has worked well enough for me.

      And I like I told Margie, if I am going to be seen all over social then it does need to be more business related. So until I’m ready to do that (if I ever am) it will probably serve me best to keep a lower profile; not like I’m playing online all day.

      Yeah, we just think we have swamps in FLA, you got the real deal in your backyard. Plus, I think where you are it might even be easier to find 4 people who will help you move a body.

      It’s the people that keep me coming back and even though I won’t meet the majority of them in real life, I certainly know them well enough that has made all this worthwhile.

      I hope you have been well, it is so good to see you; thanks for the visit.

  6. Nobody ever really leaves for good unless the Internet ceases to exist! I love that!
    I bought a scale the other day. Haven’t stepped on one for over a year. I’ve lost 10 lbs! HA! Laughter burns calories I guess!

    • If laughter burned enough calories I would be skin and bones….:).

      I just need to get up and move more; way too much desk time.

      I don’t know if you ever knew Griddy; Ingrid Aboud, but she was the first one I was connected to that had a great online presence then just disappeared. She’s still out there, but at 1% of what she used to be. She took a summer off and never came back. It was sad, but that’s life I suppose.

      Once I started seeing people fall by the wayside, that was about the time the honeymoon phase started wearing off.

      Hope all is well Betsy, so good to see you.

  7. You are just having a tough time waiting for that promotion or whatever big news at work….

    If you go to a shrink, they might call it the “social media mid life crisis” – yes, I might be working on that.

    But then, you are a rock star, just because you don’t feel like strumming the guitar today doesn’t mean you don’t know how to sing.

    Don’t leave us, we love you way too much. And yes, I will help you move those bodies, but you must promise we take the dead guy’s car too.

    Rock on! 🙂

    • I just hope the dead guy hasn’t been in the car too long; have you ever tried to get dead guy smell out of a car?…:).

      In my world, I’m promoted all I can be. The only other step I would have is starting my own business. However, because I’m in sales I can give myself a raise by going out and selling more business.

      I do have work related ‘news’ though and will share at the appropriate time; it could be very exciting.

      Maybe I can be like Lori and take a ‘staycation’ except mine might be a ‘black-out’ period where I just shut it down for a week or two. Dog days of summer indeed….

      Don’t worry, you are probably stuck with me for awhile; I like you guys too much….

    • Shed some pounds? Are you saying I’m fat? Have you seen me? Oh wait, I said it, huh?

      Balance or direction, I don’t know which. Sometimes these things work themselves out by just letting them run their course.

      It’s not that I’m in bad shape, but if I get back to my ‘fighting’ weight, I think I will be a happier camper. I don’t mind working out to achieve it either, in fact I embrace it.

      Here’s to bliss chasing; good to see you sir, always a pleasure.

  8. Bill, you could easily open a new business with everybody volunteering for moving bodies. Ah, yes, count me in as well, this might be fun. I will be wearing a mask.

    I loved Hajra’s diagnosis, I mean she is the shrink and she is always right, no?

    Cannot help you with sports, I am hopeless at them! But you could come and help harvesting olives (oh, I forgot, it is still on my list)!

    Stay around a little bit, will you?

    • Hajra is always right…..

      Olive harvesting can’t be too bad can it? They are on a tree about head high right? Do we get to drink wine while we are harvesting?

      I’m around; I was just feeling the blahs…….dog days of summer indeed.

      Good to see you.

      • Olive harvesting is HARD work, lucky when the trees are head high but they can be on slopes, no machinery used, you first spread out nets beneath the trees and then harvest the olives by hand. No wine while working, you might get a glass for dinner depending on your achievement.

        So you thought it is paradise maybe with some damsels dancing la tarantella and making merry …

        I had this project idea at one time long before everybody spoke of burnout: a farm retreat for tired managers (including their wives) with a tight schedule working on the farm out- and inside from early morning till night, hard work for everybody, cooking huge meals and I guarantee you: physical work of this kind is tough but rewarding, body fat will evaporate and a six pack will miraculously appear, at the end of the day you will see what you have achieved and be proud. And you will actually be hungry and not think about satisfying some greed by rewarding it with tons of grid or whatever.

        But maybe nobody would want to go back to the treadmill at the end of their stay, this is the reason I left it out on my list …

        Dog days of summer! Good to talk to you! And hello to you, Hajra, my mango bond!

      • Yes Hajra, you are the one…

        Hey Barbara, what a great idea. Not only get your farm harvested, but make somebody pay to do it.

        A lot of the niche specialty fitness centers are geared more to work like that instead of lifting weights, which is not necessarily practical in your everyday life.

  9. I’ll start with the 10 friends remark and they are definitely dwindling. But my Mom is moving and I’ve had 5 volunteer already so that’s a good thing. I have a friend who has been around for 41 years and he’d definitely help me move the body accept he lives over 4 hours from me. I would think that body moving would need to happen really quick ya know! Love that!

    Exercise, man that’s such a dirty word. Okay, if you must know…I’m smaller now then when I was in high school so I’m thrilled with my weight. Oh sure, I don’t have a model’s figure but jeez. Not many people do at my age unless you’re just a fanatic about your health and I’m definitely not that.

    Loved this post Bill. You always come up with some killer topics. Hope you’ve been enjoying your week. I definitely have.


  10. If you need cyber-disappearing lessons, I’ve got a 16-part course called Back To Invisible: The Path of The Blog Ninja. If you act now, I’ll throw in a…

    I don’t fret your disappearance Bill; I know you can only go so far and the siren song of social will beckon you back! After just disconnecting completely for a week, I can tell you it was pretty darn excellent. More real life is definitely good, but I would recommend the brief #digitaldiet on top of that. It was a nice break.

  11. “I’m the guy who slips out the back door so I don’t have to run the gauntlet telling everyone good bye.”
    –Me too 😉

    Hey man, I used to be a Fat Boy. And way back was a Big Fat Boy! But no matter what, NOW, I always hit that treadmill, and if not, make it a point to walk, which is fine in the summer, but winter? At least you have nice weather in the fall and winter. Here? Well you just need to get used to walking or running in the drizzle, that’s all.

    I’ve been doing a big of yoga … don’t laugh, seriously, and stopped using free weights for things like hindu squats (where you actually look like a toad doing them :)) and I stretch all the time. Do you? Seems it helps with the over-40 body. I must do this or I feel all bound up. My wife now calls me “Stretch” …

    So, don’t be lazy, Soldier! Get off your ass and get moving! Didn’t they teach you that in the Army? Good luck with the 1/2 marathon. I might run another. I think that’s a good distance. 26.2 is way too long and the last time I ran one I really tweaked my knee.

    MAYBE you should start one of those fitness blogs. “Bill Dorman and his kettle bell” ? eh?

    Have fun in what Adam Toporek calls the FLA rice cooker 😉

    • Kettle bell or my Dunlap roll; as in that shit has dunlapped over my belt…….:).

      I changed gyms; I was doing hindu squats (that was quite the sight) and some stretching at the other place. If I do it at the Y I am going to have to do it on my own. Back in the day when I was really running and tracking my miles, I had a book that had a bunch of great stretching exercises in it. I need to roll that out and ‘do it’ at least once a week.

      I forgot to mention I still do my yard at least once a week; with a push mower. Today is was a 3 hr task in the rice cooker…..I couldn’t even bring my shirt inside…..manly man.

      I need to find a workout partner, but I’m not sure I’m ready for the accountability….yikes, huh……I’ve got a friend in mind, but he’s Sgt Rock; relentless….

      Good to see you; hope your weekend is going well.

      I’ll get there….

  12. I’m not sure if I have even two guys who will move my body, but I sure got at least 10 guys who’ll eat pizza with me and that’s what counts 🙂

    • The J Burns cheese pizza from the local shop was really good; and I also get $5 off my next order….sounds like a winner to me, right?

      Ok, read Fuzzy; there were a few ‘funny’ words in there but you have probably already taken care of that. I really liked the style and the way it carried you along. Toward the end I could tell where the story was headed, but not until the very end. Good work, it was a very enjoyable read.

      • You’re always making me hungry 🙂

        I have edited the story and changed some of the funny words, especially the suite vs suit – but I’d love to get the feedback, I might have missed a few. And, it would be awesome if you’d add a short comment on Amazon for the story. I’d be the happiest Norwegian online 🙂

        Thanks a lot.

  13. So…I come and go all the time. You may have noticed…or not. I don’t really worry about that aspect of social media too much. Even my friends in the flesh can go days or weeks without hearing from me. But I am here.

    As I blogged once a long time ago, there are circles of friendships. The body-moving friends are the inner circle. My social media friends still know me when I pop back in now and then, but I too had lost too many mornings full of precious time to engaging with a monitor. And, interestingly enough, between the move and my stress-abating eating habits, I too am feeling the need to move more or find the reality of middle aged weight gain become my personal plight.

    So go golf, walk, bike (but don’t swim). Have the glass of wine on weekends. Live the life that calls to you and embrace your friends in the flesh. The rest of this world will be waiting for you whenever you come back. And just like a scene from Cheers, you’ll hear a Norm-like chorus of “BILL!” when you walk in the room. And maybe I’ll be here to join in. Maybe I won’t. But wherever I am I’ll be glad I know you just the same.

    • Hey you, of course I know when you are around and when you aren’t. I’m so glad you happened to be around for this.

      As I told Craig, I did forget to mention I do my own yard work (on purpose and w/out a riding mower) so I’m not a total slacker. This past week was a good week; got golf, tennis, yard & running in (no swimming) and got a few more things up my sleeve. Just like social, running and golf, I did get obsessive w/ working out at one time. Fortunately, I found a ‘comfortable’ spot for me on all of them and that’s a good thing.

      Now, just to stay injury-free…..:).

      I am so happy to see you, you hold a special place in my social existence so you have to hang around.

      I hope things are going well for you and thanks for taking the time to stop by.

  14. Hey Bill, Not only could I be one of the two that you call, I would be legally bound to keep your secret. I’m still licensed in Florida. If that’s where it’s buried. I’m not sayin’.

    At first I was blogging 5 times a week and racquetball went by the wayside. But I’m down to about 3 times a week and that’s better for my racquetball game and my waistline.

    JMB is right, balance is key. It has to be fun, right?

    I hope you find a way to make it all work, Bill. I imagine commenting is probably taking up more time than writing the blog posts?

    I would definitely miss you if you were gone. But I’d still keep the location secret. Shh…

    • Yes, I would need a good legal mind on my team; probably a conflict of interest for my son as I wouldn’t want to drag him into any of my concerns….:).

      Twice a week is doable for me; it just felt like I hit a wall last week which I’m prone to do at times. However, I might be changing from Mon/Thurs to Mon/Wed. Why? Just because I suppose….

      Commenting is 3:1 over blogging. In fact I feel more obligated to comment, posting second and of course GPing which is way in the back seat at a distant third.

      Attorney/client privilege…………..shhhh……

      Glad to see you back; hopefully you had a fantastic time.

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