That had to be the worst post ever

Who? What? Where? No skunk smell in here; that’s for sure, I checked.

Have you ever done a post and while writing it, you just know it is going to be your ‘best post ever?’ So good that it makes you laugh out loud or even brings a tear to your eye while writing it?

I have composed 3 of those in the last few months and could not wait to get them published. Without any doubt whatsoever I could feel it in my bones, I just knew they would go viral and I would be the ‘next big thing.’

Guess what? They didn’t get any more of a reaction than any other piece of drivel I put out AND the traffic was even below average on a couple of them.

Really? Are you kidding me? Are you telling me I’m that delusional and have no judge of talent whatsoever? Shut the front door………

I am being facetious of course, but I really did have a couple I was proud of for being so clever and witty. I thought for sure they would be walk-off home runs but all I got was a cigarette butt in the backwash of my warm beer.

Go figure, huh? Somebody told me social might be fickle.

How to double your traffic

I am very much an ‘under the radar’ kind of guy; I have no strategy other than writing, commenting and sharing. Probably not the best sustainability model, and it sure won’t get you the traffic most seem to be crave, but it’s all the energy I am willing to expend at this point.

However, I did notice my traffic more than doubled for the month of May. Taking out the Gini factor, which seems to cause a bump every time she retweets one of my posts; my numbers almost jumped off the chart in May.

Say it ain’t so; how can that be? The only thing I can attribute it to are two posts I did in May (and no, these weren’t my epic posts I previously mentioned). Growing up bin Laden and Putting your best face forward have to be the culprits. bin Laden for the name and best face for the pumpkin ass picture; that is the only thing it can be.

Otherwise, it has to be from some of these clowns I hang around with.

I didn’t see any new people

Here’s the deal, in addition to my regular community, my spam count has more than doubled. Just to give you an idea, if I include spam comments, I have had 18,124 comments on 104 posts. Whoa, that averages out to 175 comments per post. You had no idea I was that popular, huh?

The question is, what happens if I let the dogs loose and approve all the spam comments? If I do it once, does that mean they have a key to my house forever more?

Don’t worry, I’m not opening any flood gates; but it is true that my spam intake really jumped off the charts for the month of May and I really do think those two posts were the culprit.

Social media doh’s, as Stan would say

Why would someone have a ‘follow me on twitter‘ button on their site if they are going to be one of those dickheads who don’t follow back? I know the whole ‘follow me, follow you’ thing is passe in twitter; but if that is your shtick, you suck a root; no, really….

There, I just had to say it and even though my words make it appear otherwise, I could care less………or I couldn’t care less; or how about ‘I just don’t care.’

Ok, we are halfway through 2012

Where are you on your goals you set for yourself this year (if you chose to do so)? Are you making the progress you expected?

Me? I have had some victories but have also had some setbacks. However, I am still standing to fight another day; so that has to be a good thing, right?

That.is.all.

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58 thoughts on “That had to be the worst post ever

  1. As long as you can stand (tall or with a walker) and you got fight in you, it’s a very good thing, Bill.

    “You suck a root.”

    Love that. I’m still laughing.

    Do you check where you’re traffic is coming from? Do you use Google analytics?

    • I really am under the radar; I don’t check where the traffic is coming from (which I think I can do from my WordPress acct) or Googly analytics. Maybe one day it will be important enough to start tracking it. It might be worth taking a peek……..

      I definitely have some fight left; let’s see what I can do with it.

  2. So much to consider when it comes to engagement. I would think external factors kept you from going viral Bill. Perhaps the “Avengers” or Mitt’s latest riveting tweet, the new menu at Burger King? Personally, I am always a sucker for the ass pumpkin!

    • I’m leaning towards Mitt’s tweet…..

      The ass pumpkin was pretty cool; I’m thinking of trying it on Halloween.

      Thanks for taking the time to stop by and comment; much appreciated.

  3. Wow, double traffic in May? Excellent! If that’s more traffic than you want, I suggest you switch to the generic WordPress theme and add CAPTCHA to comments. Works like a lead brick for your traffic.

    Sorry about the spam. I’ll try to tone it down. Perhaps I should only leave 150 comments a day?

    I’m glad you linked to Jack’s blog post about your best blog post or I would have had to do that. I agree with him, there is no predicting which post will be popular. If there were a formula, we’d all be viral by now.

    Not that I’m hoping you catch a virus or anything…

    I’m still waiting for that pumpkin shot to be your Gravatar. If you add it and delete it today it would still probably be there till Halloween. I’m just sayin’…

    • Maybe if I just keep rolling the same one out over and over it might catch on…..:).

      Pumpkin ass was pretty sweet; I like making pictures part of my post.

      Viral; that would be something, huh? Look at you in the Philadelphia freakin’ Inquirer. You are already in the ‘big’ time and we knew you when.

      Good to see you.

  4. I don’t see much spam here, so you’re doing a great job. A lot better than me, I almost always accept the one liners, the “great post” or the “I love your writing.” I just love feedback like that, even though I see that the name of the person publishing it is a seo company (in my world the person writing it means every single word, as long it’s something positive) 🙂

    I absolutely agree with you about Twitter. I don’t do many conversations with new people, it’s mostly the same old gang, but on the other hand, I’m always here, so I’m ready for new people whenever they contact me. And I try to follow back everyone that follows me.

    On the other hand, when it comes to goals, I feel that things are going great. But, I don’t have any goals other than to have a good time and be happy. And that’s going great, but who knows what will happen next week 🙂

    • The ‘spam’ are typically posts from people w/out pics; if I don’t know them I don’t approve them. For whatever reason though, I’m getting about 20-30 a day; that would really bump my numbers, huh?

      At the end of the day, having fun doing whatever you are doing is important. It makes everything much easier…….

      Good to see you, thanks for taking the time to leave your ‘thoughts for the day.’

    • Kind of a ‘guy’ expression I suppose; but I really don’t understand why you want people to follow you if you have no intention of following back. Or, you already have 20k+ and you decide not to follow. Just make you want to go ‘huh?’

      Good to see you, hope all has been well.

  5. Hi Bill,
    As to your traffic increase in May, I have two thoughts: I think you writing has improved (practice is a wonderful thing) and you probably encountered some breakthrough tipping point which hopefully means continued high traffic.
    Riley (always the analytical one)

    • Maybe that’s it; I never thought it would be due to my writing because I really do take a very low key approach to it. That might be the best way at the end of the day I suppose.

      Good to see you; hope you are enjoying (enjoyed) your trip.

  6. Thats one terrific rant, and I’m with you on all points. I’m starting to get lots of spam too and am irritated by them. Although although the other side of me says “oh, you’re bigtime now!”. LOL

    • I approved them all, it would look like one big party. My concern is, you approve them once then you can never make them go away…………..hmmm………

      Thanks for your thoughts on this very deep subject……….:)

  7. I don’t often check my stats and never know who’s reading or who has subscribed. Shame on me. Huh? The only time numbers matter to me is when you’re coming to my house (I mean a party) ’cause I need to get food and probably limit or prepare for bathroom use. My sister invited the whole senior class to our house for a party once and caused thousands of dollars in damage to the septic system! HA! That’s when numbers matter if you ask me.

    • When I start out at my dashboard, it does have a chart w/ traffic and also shows how many spam are waiting to be released or deleted. Very cursory, but easy to see; that is really the only way I know.

      That’s a funny story about ‘too many’ friends; a ruined septic system is not a good thing I’m sure.

      Good to see you Betsy.

    • For the most part, if they don’t have an avatar and I don’t know them; then I’m pretty sure it’s not a ‘real’ comment. However, if it was just about the numbers I could certainly release them all and it would look like one big party.

      I’m happy with the ‘real’ community that stops by and I appreciate you leaving your thoughts as well.

  8. I have received more hatemail this month than in quite some time. Good to know that I am getting a reaction…maybe.

    I obviously am from the school of thought that says keep swinging. Some of the posts that people love the most aren’t ones that I thought were good and vice versa.

    I just keep writing because i see benefits in practicing and as I said, you never know what will resonate.

    • Maybe I’ll do a ‘best of’ and try them again……..:). Is that as lazy as lists?

      Yep, you never know when whatever you have written will really resonate w/ someone. The interesting thing w/ this post is I probably had more positive comments in the retweets than I have seen in some time; some from people I just know from a distance. It was kind of cool.

      Hope your day was well sir.

  9. You just never know what is going to strike a chord. Sometimes you might have a feeling about something, but other times it is a complete surprise. I knew when I wrote my Google+ post on the old site that I had hit it right. But another one of my posts that did well was a complete shock. Like Jack said, just keep swinging — sometimes you foul out, sometimes you hit a home run.

    • I remember my post about finding someone dead at their desk after 3 days got more traffic and retweets from quite a few people I didn’t know. I thought maybe death was the attraction so I followed up w/ another ‘death’ title but it didn’t draw near the traffic so I’m not sure if that was it or not.

      You just never know I suppose; it depends on who has a chance to see it because it only takes 3 or 4 not to show up that can make it a good day or not.

      Yep, I’m still swinging away; going for the fences; good to see you.

  10. Someone figured out link love. Zowie. Double, double toil and trouble; fire burn and cauldron bubble…….some might think I know Shakespear but i just know how to use ze Google.

    I have to agree. You suck a root. New one for me too. Like it tho. Must be a FLAism. I happen to love parsnips.

    • ze Google can make you appear much smarter than you really are, right?

      I was hanging w/ some Canucks tonight from New London? Very pleasant people indeed; but what I expected.

      Maybe it is a Flaism or southernism. Back in the day the guys would say it all the time.

      Good to see you sir.

    • Do you use Google reader? If so, can’t you just plop my address in there and ‘add to reader?’ This is a ‘free’ site, pretty much what you see is what you get. If everybody has that hard of a time finding me, maybe that is something I could work on.

      • Dunno. Can’t see that option in google reader but I betcha your free blog has an RSS button. if you talk real nice to it you might be able to turn it on.

      • Ok, whatever RSS buttons I have, I widgeted them over; that’s all I know to do.

        I just keep my Reader relatively clean so I can tell when knew posts pop up. That’s my method………:)

  11. 🙂 yes, yes, I have many best posts ever. They are always doing the rounds in my head. Which makes me ponder – the posts I loved, didn’t get comments/hardly had any traffic when I wrote them. And then later, they began to trickle in, building up to a nice flow. But then I blog coz i love it. And as a traffic generation model, I like yours. Easy, simple and most important – enjoyable!

    I am addicted to your blog, I realized. (nothing new for you, eh?) I actually waited to read your post as a reward for completing a project. Can you imagine? Wonder what you think of that? 😀

    Hugs! May your weekend be just what you want it to be! Am off to the dentist today.

    • Wow, that’s some nice things to say; it pleases me that you enjoy stopping by.

      Sometimes you feel like dragging the post out again and shout ‘hey, you need to really read this’………..:).

      The weekend should be good; I think we might have plenty of rain (which we need) but I can work around that. Hope you have a good one too.

  12. My strategy is writing, commenting occasionally and often crossing my fingers, but I’m not sure what I’m crossing my fingers for.

    I don’t think I’ll ever be the next big thing; I have goals for 2012 but the majority are personal and have little to do with blogging. My ultimate blogging goal is to keep posting away and expressing myself and building up a library of regular blog posts that demonstrates persistence on my part.

    The truth is, you only get to hear about the people who labored in obscurity for 30 years and then hit the Big Time.

    You *don’t* hear about those who labored in obscurity for thirty years and then gave up.

    I think — not sure — that Duke Ellington said, Keep doing what you like; if you’re any good, it may take you a decade or 30 years, but eventually you will have an audience; and even if you don’t make it at the end of 30 years at least you’ll have done something you loved doing.

    So keep at it. 100% of the shots you don’t take don’t go in.

    • At least you will have done something you loved doing………’nuff said, huh? All the other trappings that go along with this ‘stuff’ is just gravy, right.

      Under this model I use, I will certainly not hit the ‘big time’ either. However, I am in this deep enough I do know some pretty cool people and do have access to them; so that is worth something to me.

      That would be a hoot if I’m still doing this 30 years from now. I wonder what the landscape will look like then?

      So true about the shots not going in if you don’t take them. Good to see you Mr Bell Magnet; hope your week went well………:).

  13. Oh crap Bill, now I’m a dickhead… Yep, I don’t automatically follow all my Twitter followers back. They have to ask me to follow them. I know, I know, I’m a dickhead. But hey, I ended up with a bunch of people I was following that were not interested in me, just the numbers. Does that really make me a bad person? Don’t answer that! 😦

    You are witty, I will admit. So your headlines and the photos got some attention. Okay, so some of that was the wrong kind but we still love ya Bill. So maybe not everyone knows about you and we’re okay with that. We wouldn’t want you getting so popular that you start ignoring us all now.

    Either way it goes Bill I’ll keep hanging around. You’ll still have your old faithfuls you probably won’t ever be able to get rid of. Doubling traffic or not!

    Have a great weekend Bill!

    ~Adrienne

    • You’re many things, Adrienne, but from what little I know of you, I can safely say you’re not a dickhead.

      And if you are, well then, I’m in great company; I’ll be a dickhead too.
      I don’t auto-follow either; it’s somebody’s right to follow me on Twitter or G+, as much as it’s my prerogative not to follow them if I don’t find them sufficiently interesting.

      I do end up following back a decent number of people if they come across as authentic, i.e., not just playing a numbers game. Of course, I’m more likely to fb if they engage in some way.

      • I concur; if she’s a dickhead, then that’s probably not a bad thing to be. One of these days I will have the cajones to call some of these people out specifically instead of making general statements; but that would probably not be too sporting of me.

        I follow back about 2-3 of every 5 that show up; some I know we would never connect or engage so I don’t even bother. Having said that, I don’t have a please follow me on twitter sign at my place either…………just sayin’………..:).

    • You are no dickhead……….online at least……….:). I will give a hall pass to the people who are engaging and helpful, that’s when it really doesn’t matter who is following who. However, if all you are doing is push marketing and it’s all about ‘you’ but you give back very little; I’m not too interested. But that’s why we can all choose to follow whoever we want to, right?

      The traffic numbers really don’t mean much to me; I just thought it odd for the month of May the spam count really took off.

      I’m planning on having a great weekend and hope you do the same; good to see you.

  14. I headed over from a RT by @adriennesmith40 to read ‘the worst post ever’. I am not yet a blogger and always researching and reading to get myself off the pot and post. Glad I did because if this is the worst post ever, I have a lot more work to do.

    Whatever root you are sucking, it has juice.

    • Hola, welcome to casa de silly; I’m usually not too serious about anything and even if it might seem I’m ranting, I’m usually making fun of the absurdity of it.

      When I first started, I commented at a multitude of sites. That was when I noticed most people who did this had a blog as well. When I finally decided to get off the pot and become a ‘blogger’ too, my moniker was The Invisible Blogger because I really had no idea anyone would show up.

      If you like to write and comment, I highly recommend jumping on in and getting started with a blog. I had no idea I would enjoy it like I do, but have found it to be a real pleasure.

      Good luck and thanks for taking the time to stop by. Adrienne is good peeps……….:).

  15. I love this post…. not quite the worst post! I haven’t been blogging for some time now…busy with my admission procedures..Yes, I am studying further. But I am always surprised how wonderful the usual people are. They always manage to stop by and check out whatever you’ve got to write about.

    Did you check Google Analytics..maybe the usual clowns are doing a good job of spreading the word across?

    • I’ve noticed you’ve been sparse; I thought maybe it was because the last blog contests you were in burned you out. I’m glad to hear you are doing something good.

      I haven’t checked Google Analytics; maybe I should see where all these spammers are coming from. I think it would be funny to ‘release’ them and watch what it would do to my numbers. I’m just afraid if you open it up, then they are always in.

      So good to see you, thanks for the update. I hope your weekend went well.

  16. the title of the posts can take your best contents as the lowest and the poorest contest as the best. It all depends on our creativity for writing a titles.

    I think you got that creativity Bill 😉

    • Thanks for the compliment; the challenge is writing a witty, eye-catching title and then backing it up with something worth reading.This post was unique in the fact I had a lot of people comment positively through their retweet but they still weren’t compelled to comment. You just never know I supposed…

      Thanks so much for taking the time to stop by.

  17. Great read, once again. I can clearly see where you are going with this, I usually get these ideas in my mind while writing that this will cause a tidal wave and draw hundreds of people to my blog, and that my traffic will double and I wont be able to reply to all the comments that I might get!!!!
    But guess what, just like you, it never happens and all I get are those spams 🙂 I somehow noticed that for me too, spams have increased in May, isnt that strange??

    • And then other times you sit there wondering if it is even worth publishing and it turns out to be a popular post………..go figure………..

      The spams are definitely on the increase and I’m not sure why; but if you are seeing them too, then maybe something is going on.

      Thanks for stopping by and leaving your thoughts; good to see you.

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