I turned down one million dollars

Well, whoever ‘they‘ is; they say a million dollars isn’t much scratch these days. Why don’t ‘they‘ go ahead and give it to me and let me judge if I still think it’s a big deal or not. I’m pretty sure I could have a lot of fun with one million unemcumbered, uncommitted dollars, how about you?

What if I told you I have one million dollars just sitting there; can’t be taxed and not pledged to a single thing? Pretty sweet, huh?

I can collect anytime….with a caveat….

Well, there is a little bump in the road and a clause in this contract I entered into that says I have to die first before anything is paid. This seems pretty harsh, but there has to be a way around this, right? I mean, it is there for the taking I just have to figure out a plan B around that whole death thing…….hmmm….

You could disappear at sea

That might be the best choice since it would be much easier to explain the absence of a body. Maybe just go out on a sail boat and abandon it offshore, bringing a raft along to get me back to shore and then hitchhike to Malad City, Idaho or somewhere far away where my accent will just blend right in.

I could act like I’m in the witness protection program and everybody would be ok with the sketchy recollection of my past. Plus, they would all be a little afraid of me so I’m sure they would keep their distance. I don’t think they would be able to find my picture or presence anywhere on the internet either.

I wonder if there is a statute of limitations on death and I could just show back up after 7 years to see if any of that money is left. I could claim hitting my head when I fell off the sailboat and say I washed ashore somewhere but don’t remember exactly where because of the amnesia.

You would have to be less than zero

Because there could be no trace of me, I would have to lay lower than dinosaur footprints; lower than Jesse Jackson’s credibility; lower than Monica Lewinski’s kneecaps. You get the gist, I would have to really lay low.

That shouldn’t be too hard to do; it’s not like social energizes me or anything. I might not be quite as flamboyant as fellow Lakelander Gene Holloway who tried the same stunt, but it might be hard for me to go totally underground. Maybe I could bring back the Invisible blogger, huh?

Would the money still be there when you got back?

Hell naw; I won’t name any names, but somebody else in my immediate family would be dancing the jig if they got their hands on a million bucks. Billy who?

Oh well, if at least one of is happy, right?

What if you had one million bucks?

Have you ever played the ‘what if’ game like you won the lottery and had more money than you knew what to do with? It would be kind of cool don’t you think to take care of your immediate family; maybe help them get out of debt, let them go back to school, etc.

Do you think too much money would change who you are? Regardless, would you like to give it a try?

True story; I know of an older couple in town who won the lottery and just took off. They didn’t tell their children, grandchild or any close friends where they were going; just hauled ass so nobody could get at them. Maybe that is best at least initially because we all know people will come out of the woodwork with a hand out. I’m too much of a softy, I would end up giving it all away.

Look what I found

If you found a bag full of money laying on the side of the road with no way to identify the owner, would you turn it in? Depends on how much, right?….:). Interesting dilemma….

People do crazy things when tempted with money. Being in the insurance business, I have seen my fair share of employee dishonesty claims because the bookkeeper who was like ‘family,’ ended up stealing from the business.

They also say money can’t buy happiness, but you sure can do some fun things with it, huh? At the end of the day, how much is enough; where is your ‘satisfied’ meter?

I think our boy Pink Floyd sums it up pretty well.

Oh yeah, that.is.all.

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45 thoughts on “I turned down one million dollars

  1. A million dollars isn’t what it used to be. When I was a kid, people acted like a million dollars would be enough to last forever. Now, if I won a million dollars, I’d have to calculate how many more years I’d have to work before I could touch the principal. And when the freeloaders came after me, I’d tell them I already blew the money on strippers. I

    • If you were debt free, a million dollars would still go a long way as long as you didn’t get crazy I suppose. I wouldn’t quit my job over a million bucks ’cause as jobs go, I have a pretty sweet gig. I could be much more selective w/ my audience however…..:).

      Good to see you and thanks for your thoughts; much appreciated.

  2. Hi Bill, Bummer about that dying requirement, huh? Maybe someone in the insurance business could do something about that…

    There was a man in England who faked his death in a boating accident and fled to Panama. His wife was the only one who knew the truth and she used some of the insurance money to visit him frequently. They were caught when his picture appeared online and someone recognized him.

    Going to jail wasn’t the worst part. Having their kids learn of their deception was the worst. Imagine finding out your dad is actualy alive and being upset about it.

    This was big news in England when I lived there and plenty of people speculated about it. Just a bad idea all around, if you ask me.

    Hope you’re enjoying your Memorial Day, Bill!

    • Yes, the death part is just a little hiccup……..

      I think it would be way too hard to just disappear and if it meant I had to change my lifestyle, no thanks. I wouldn’t want to live a life always looking over my shoulder…..

      Memorial Day has been good, we are getting some rain from the hurricane, but it’s much needed. Hope you had a good one as well.

  3. But Bill, if you carry out that plan now you’ll have to delete this post first 😮 Way to let the cat out of the bag!
    I can be happier with a lot less than a million dollars, I know. But I think I’ll experience that millionaire feeling in this life – that would be fun!
    Lori

    • You think somebody might read this and put two and two together? It would be interesting to have more money than you can spend and never need to worry about your finances. You would be running in a very select crowd however, and that might not be as fun as you think. I like my lifestyle pretty good as it is………

      Good to see you, hope your day went well.

  4. Hey Bill – why’s your blog looking so different – or am i hallucinating?

    Some time back, I was waiting to use the bank ATM – and getting annoyed at a couple of guys inside busy chatting while they did their business. So engrossed were they – they forgot to pick up their ATM card and cash. Imagine. I returned it to the bank, after looking around to see if I could find them. Nice stack of cash.

    If i had 1 M dollars, I’d do plenty of things – and not for myself. Yeah, I am like that. My wishlist is full of my favorite charities.

    • I went for a new look, just for the heck of it……….why not, huh?

      Good for you on the ATM return; of course, they would have had your picture so they might have come calling if you decided to keep it.

      It would be fun to have some crazy money to help others.

      Hope you had a great weekend.

  5. Ooooh, I like the look: your site got a new haircut, I see:)

    A million dollars…it ain’t what it used to be. For me, the concept of having “more than enough money” (whatever that is) simply removes the need to think about it. To not be focused on it, aware of it, concerned about it…to know that the money’s in the bank to cover whatever expenses might crop up, to donate to worthy causes, to help my sons and extended family…that’s what it would be all about for me.

    But why didn’t you tell me that guy was in Toronto? I’d have caught some of those flying 100’s. Just kidding.

    Love the look. Cheers! Kaarina

    • Just a trim; thought I’d try something different.

      Just enough to remove the need to think about it is plenty I suppose. Most people who haven’t planned are afraid of ‘outliving’ their money.

      Yep, he was in Toronto throwing money around; maybe not the sharpest tack in the box, huh?

      Hola, hope you had a great weekend.

  6. The problem is that a million dollars won’t liberate you or most people. It won’t liberate them from their everyday concerns, fears, etc. It won’t make wild fantasies come true. Most castles cost many millions (moats and unicorns are extra). The decoration, maintenance and the help needed to make a castle a nesty home may be many millions too. [big sigh]

    And what about the summer cottage, winter cabin, and trips with 5 star accommodations?

    But, like you suggest, a million could make things a little better for a little bit – if you don’t upgrade your lifestyle, if you make some investments (some safe and some clever), and if you keep your day job or find a better one.

    There’s another problem too, other kinds of problems come with money. People really do expect you to help them out – family, friends and strangers. Been there and done that. That sucks…

    30 Million is a better number. But you could lose that too. I’ve known more than a dozen people (personally) that have gone from serious wealth to middle class in five years.

    Bottom line, believe it or not, you have everything you need to be you, to love, and to be true.

    • Trust me, I’m blessed and don’t want for much. If a mil fell into my lap, that would be cool I suppose but I’m pretty sure it wouldn’t change me much.

      I’ve seen my share of friends knocked on their butts over the last 3 years because some of them were living way too large; not a pretty sight.

      Good to see you, hope you have a great week.

  7. My dream has always been to be able to anonymously give people cash. I’d love to leave a note like, “Have fun. Pass it on.” But it would have to be anonymous and no one could know I had the money. That would be too stressful.
    I was going to suggest cloning yourself and then killing your clone, but you’d have to wait for him to grow up, etc. AND deal with the whole murder thing.
    Love the changes! Fun!

    • Anonymous gift giving in big amounts would be fun; maybe I’ll get to try it someday.

      If I had to live a lie to get the money, I probably wouldn’t do too well. I’m sure I would be telling somebody my ‘story’ before too long and the cat would be out of the bag.

      Maybe I better think about a lottery ticket……….but I guess you actually have to buy one to make that happen, huh?

  8. “…lower than dinosaur footprints; lower than Jesse Jackson’s credibility; lower than Monica Lewinski’s kneecaps…” – my coffee actually came out of nose after reading that line. Made my day!

    A million bucks would be sweet, but I once knew a family that won the lottery (more than a million) TWICE. I kid you not – the grand jackpot, two times in the span of 10 years. In that same time, they also lost their son to cancer. Always made me think that you shouldn’t tempt fate. Good luck is usually offset by something catastrophic, and I don’t want that kind of bullseye on my family.

    I’m pretty pleased with my run of good luck as of late and I’ll just quietly count my blessings.

    • There was a local guy who won a lottery and there was a court dispute as to whether he stole the ticket from a person he worked with who bought a ticket every single week. The court ruled in his favor, but he was dead within two years by some n’er do wells who befriended and then killed him. Be careful what you wish for, right?

      I’ve had a great run of luck and count my blessings at well. I’m perfectly content with the status quo………..

      A million bucks would be fun though, I won’t deny that…….maybe some new golf clubs, huh?

      Good to see you Ruth.

  9. Hi Bill,
    Ah but wealth is really a matter of definition:

    Silver in the hair
    Gold in the teeth
    Crystals in the kidneys
    Sugar in the blood
    Lead in the ass
    Iron in the artieries
    And an inexhaustible supply of natural gas

    Riley

  10. If I had a million dollars my life wouldn’t change in that many ways. I’d travel more and make more time to write, but other than that nothing drastic comes to mind. Guess I’m pretty content 🙂

    Plus, this tune just came to mind…

  11. I think I’ll buy me a football team…..or maybe just a Garfunkel.

    Poor and happy, that’s my motto.
    No, wait, work my ass off to get the green is my motto.
    Hold on, sitting on my fat ass waiting patiently for some fat inheritence is my motto.

    Ahhh, what’s a few bucks? It just brings you problems. I am happy with what I have. A happy life with lots of opportunity and the common sense not to abuse it.

    That. Is. All!

    • Fat, dumb & happy is my motto so we are almost on the same wave length. I too am sitting on my fat ass waiting for one of my relatives to actually make some real money and then suck up to them so I will be named in their will. Unfortunately, it looks like I might be that guy and that’s not a good thing………..:).

      I would like to have some fun just blowing through it; pure decadence…….that’s what I’m talkin’ about………

      Good to see you, hope your weekend was well.

  12. I like the new look. A million bucks would change my life…without a doubt. It would mean not having to worry the same way about retirement. It could mean having the time to work on my writing unencumbered. It could mean a better standard of living, education for my kids, all sorts of stuff.

    It wouldn’t necessarily take care of all the things above for all eternity, but I could live with the time I got. I wouldn’t have any trouble figuring out what to do with it.

    • Considering where you are right now, it would definitely be a nice shot in the arm. If we could just befriend one of these billionaires who wouldn’t even miss a million bucks…..that’s the ticket……

      Getting my family set up would be my first priority, then I might indulge on a new, fitted set of golf clubs. I like Sandi’s suggestion of traveling and writing. I would love to do a 3-4 month European gig w/ no set destination…….

      Oh well, we can always dream, right?

  13. Carolyn stole my thunder with the story of the UK ‘canoe man’ but it seemed that apart from the picture on the internet he was missing something from his former life as the story first began to unravel when he walked into a UK police station claiming to have lost his memory during his absence.

    So the moral is that the anonymous life might not be so enjoyable after all despite the money and you might yearn for all the things you had as a pauper – Oh – and that incriminating picture might just be lurking somewhere on the web waiting to trip you up!

    Interesting post Bill, I think I’ll just hang on for the lottery win 🙂

    • I’m usually pretty lucky and I win my fair share of stuff; what I’m counting on is finding a winning lottery ticket…….

      I’ll let you in on a little secret, I’ve won the lottery. I have far exceeded where I thought I’d be and have a great, healthy family. Anything else is just icing on the cake at this point.

      It would be very hard for me to life the anonymous life, or life on the run. I’m too clueless to always have to be looking over my shoulder……..I wouldn’t make a good spy.

      Good to see you sir.

  14. Nice haircut, lean and mean!

    Have we not all heard stories about winning the jackpot and then something terrible happened, why do we never get the “and they lived happily ever after”‘?

    I do not believe that money makes you necessarily happier but giving it away might be great: our local pets home needs donation as it is not subsidized by the local government and entirely relies on private funding. I have a very close and very nice friend who would like to retire to Tuscany, she is looking for some cash, I could give you her account details.

    I am happy with my life and look forward to every new challenge, the colour green does not figure that hugely in it.

    Have a great week and I trust you are fine, you look good to me!

    • He, I just got an e-mail from somebody who wants me to help them with an inheritance they acquired but for some reason need to put it in my bank account. Why don’t I just forward this e-mail to your friend and she will be well on her way……..:).

      I have definitely heard of some of the tragic stories after people accumulated ‘easy’ wealth. You read about it all the time with professional athletes too.

      I like the look of the future and the opportunity it brings; if green is in the picture then that’s just a bonus, it’s not my motivator.

      Good to see you Barbara, I hope your week goes well.

  15. I love the new look Bill, nice!

    Yeah, that dying part could really put a cramp in things. A million bucks might not be what it use to but I’d love to try it on for size. I know without a shadow of a doubt that it would not change me. I’m too set in my ways.

    Just knowing I’m financially secure is enough for me. I only have a few things I really want to do in my life but other than that, I just want to enjoy my time here. I’d probably spend even more time with my family and friends and travel yearly but that’s about it. I’d definitely help out my family but that mostly entails the kids. The adults are doing just fine.

    Yep, that would be real nice! 🙂

    • Yeah, once you’ve made it to adulthood you are on your own, right?

      Travel and writing, that would take up a lot of my time I’m sure and that would be fun.

      Oh well, I’m sure you will have your million from your business and maybe you will drag us along with you for the party………:).

      Good to see you.

  16. Liking the new look. I imagine a million bucks would change a lot of stuff around me, but as for changing me, that’s all perspective, I say. Some things would come to the fore that weren’t so obvious about me before, others would disappear. I just hope the new picture would be pretty.

    • For a million bucks it would be pretty enough, huh? I really don’t think it would change me; maybe travel a little bit more, sleep a little bit later, have somebody work out for me……:). It would be fun to have some ‘fun’ money to play with, but I already have plenty of fun as it is.

      So good to see you; I hope you have been well. Thanks for taking the time to stop by.

  17. Okay, so I’m no expert, but when selling insurance, I’m really not so sure you should lead with death. There’s got to be something else you could pitch, right? 🙂

    I think how 1M affects someone is generally related to how much they act like they have $1M. It’s the Millionaire Next Door idea.

    • Yeah, death is not a good lead especially when who you are selling it to won’t benefit from the proceeds………:). That’s why I decided not to focus on life insurance sales.

      A million dollars gives you options; how you choose to take advantage of these options determines if it was a benefit or a curse. For a million dollars I’m pretty sure you would not see any visible difference in me in how I act or what I do.

  18. sounds crazy but if i had a million dollars i would do exactly what i am doing now except i would hire someone to help me with my damn blog… LOL

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