Excuse me, I’m talking here…part Deux…

This is my post from April 20, 2011. I was so green I didn’t even know how to link or post pictures yet.

The reason I am re-posting is because you would think if I was writing about it a year ago then I would follow my own advice, huh? The reality is, in addition to not having any focus right now, my motor mouth makes me a crappy listener and I’m not doing a good job of being in the moment either.

Do they have a pill for that?

Not exactly what I planned for my 100th post, but here it is.

From a previous post, verbatim

Over the past few weeks I have seen several posts talk about listening; either how to be a better listener or how to totally ‘suck’ at it. I apologize to my blogging friends, I would link you if I could………a basic site indeed.

Purposeful and effective listening is an art and has to be practiced  if you want to master it. How many times have you been in a room full of people and while you are engaged in conversation your eyes are scanning the room, looking over the shoulder, etc. If this is happening to you how does it make you feel? Like maybe what you have to say isn’t interesting enough to this person?

Let’s take it a step further; if you are actively engaging on several blogs how many times are you just scanning over the general content so you can hurriedly leave a comment? With so many good ones to visit and so little time, probably very easy to do. Speed reading courses, anybody?

Do you think the blogger might get annoyed if your reply totally misses the point making it obvious you didn’t read the whole thing? Or, is the blogger going to be happy just becaused you stopped by. If you catch yourself doing this, what is the solution?

Should you cut down on the posts you visit? Are you ok just doing the same old thing and hoping you aren’t exposed? Or, should you neglect some of the other parts to stay totally engaged, reading with understanding?

I bring this up because it happened to me. I responded to a post, thought I was witty and had a pretty good reply. Guess what, I didn’t fully read the post and missed the point. The author subtly thanked me for replying but her response made it obvious I was out there in la la land. Pretty embarrassing, but another lesson learned for me in the blogosphere.

The point is, are you just rushing through life; through your experiences? Do you have so much on your plate you aren’t taking the time to listen to what someone is really trying to say? If you are taking the time to engage on blogs are you reading for understanding? Is there just too much noise out there?

Are you moving at warp speed because you are in a hurry to build your network? Do you think faster is better? I mean, the clock is always ticking, right?

Maybe we just need to slow it down a little bit to enjoy this incredible journey called life.

Why now?

Lately, I feel like I’m just going through the motions with lack of focus and I just can’t seem to get my arms around ‘this.’ Because of ‘this,’ I feel I have been present in body, but not in mind.

Maybe by re-reading some of my older posts I will take my own advice I suppose. Hopefully I will be in a place where I can post this again next year.

This is nothing new, just a bump in the road.

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62 thoughts on “Excuse me, I’m talking here…part Deux…

  1. The dandelions were as big as silver dollars. And that cuckoo cuckooed like clockwork. They pushed another glass of moonshine in front of me. But I just wasn’t in the mood. I didn’t have an internet connection and all the magic and wonder of the misty Transylvania morning was lost on me.

    I know what you mean, Bill.

    The good thing is that there’s a rumor you may actually know how to link. [grin]

    • Rumor…..allegedly……if people only knew how thin my game really is….:).

      I know there is a big ebb and flow and it can change even daily.

      I’m here, I’m near and I’m dear; let’s leave it at that for now.

      Good to see you bro.

    • Happy Victoria Day fellow Canuck! Bill – it’s fun to reflect and see how far we’ve come. You’ve come far, my friend. I’ve caught a link or two in your posts (none to my blog, mind you…but all in due time).

      • I don’t do a good job of linking or guest posting; giving or receiving. Maybe that’s what I need to do to start mixing it up a little bit. Every post I will link 3-5 people……that’s the ticket……:).

        Victoria Day……we have our Memorial Day next Monday so that will be my three-day weekend.

        Hope you are doing well; look out for the linkster……

  2. It’s interesting to go back over old work again Bill and it looks like you have been seeking some inspiration in sharing this one again. The lessons remain the same in that we all tend to rush through life without listening properly or considering the true meaning of things fully and that we run the risk of missing important details.

    You might recall that I was suffering with that lack of focus last year and I was close to packing in the social media stuff on a few occasions. I’m still here though and enjoying it more by not trying too hard and taking a much more relaxed attitude to the whole thing. I hope you’ll be able to do the same and post this again in 12 months in a more positive frame of mind.

    All that remains now is for you to tell me that I completely missed the point of your post 🙂

    • Nope, I think you got this one. And I do recall your period of ‘contemplation.’ We all go through it I suppose, I just hate how flat it leaves me at times.

      Slowing down is not easy because it still feels like a hamster wheel in here most of the time; but I do think slowing down and enjoying is the best model for me.

      Good to see you sir, thanks for the visit.

  3. Hmm…There are no easy answers to your questions. I think I too have rushed many times through blog post. I will just tweet their stuff if I have nothing to say. I think for a single individual to comment at so many blogs is practically impossible, even though I would like to get into top social circle quite fast.
    I think large victories are won a step a day 🙂

    • I think taking the time to develop the relationship is most rewarding but it does cause you to be more selective. I will admit, I have rushed thru many a post to cover as much ground as I could. However, that takes a toll too.

      This is nothing new; I’ll figure out what it will take to keep me around and still enjoy the presence.

      Good to see you, much appreciated.

  4. Hi Bill,
    It’s an interesting question – how are we handling the blogs we visit. Time is a precious commodity and I agree with you, we need to not rush through this precious gift here in the blogosphere. If we forget why we’re doing what we’re doing well, then, we’re just lost! Back to basics, back to having fun!
    I love how you’re reading your own blog for advice and then walking the walk! I’ve found myself doing that too lately! LOL
    Lori

    • Hey Lori,

      This is not very uncommon. Before penguin update, I was ranking good for motivational post. If I felt down on motivation, I used to search for motivational post only to find my own post. I really felt silly 😉 and my motivation was back :).

    • Basics and fun and just slowing the heck down a little bit. I want my friends to know I’m ‘all there’ and it’s difficult to do at times.

      I can tell I already feel much better this week than last; it can change quickly.

      Thanks for stopping by; always a pleasure to see you.

  5. Bill, when you feel like this (and I believe it’s not just today because I’ve been reading/scanning your content), take a break. Everyone, no matter who, requires time away from what ails us; in this case, it’s your blog, your mojo, your lack of energy and positive spirit.

    When you go on holiday or hiatus awhile, I promise you’ll return energized and happy to be here.

    Sometimes my time away from the blog is unplanned; that’s the best because I’m busy and focusing on $$ making and not just writing for the sake of it. Hope that tip helps?

    • Helps tremendously; kind of like me trying to play tennis for 3 mos w/ a stress fracture hoping it would get better. Sometimes you just have to shut it down for awhile and come back better and healthy.

      So good to see you; thanks for your words of wisdom today. Always great to see you.

  6. Well look who posted… this is the 100th? Is it?

    Too many heavy duty questions in there to answer; but I will try to keep it short. Most of us are rushing through and sometimes that is required. If you slow down; people tell you that you have become lazy. If you quicken up, people tell you to slow down and enjoy life. So whatever pace you go on in life, the important thing is enjoying it. You might be a rabbit, run through, take a nap and then wake up and run again. But then the tortoise won the race… but come on, the rabbit got to sleep! Well, I might not make sense but I do in my head!

    But yes,taking time away is important. It might do you good!

    • You always make sense, but you are smart like that…..:).

      Pacing yourself is important as I’m sure you know more than most it can just overwhelm you at times if you let it.

      I’m going to figure this out one way or another; thanks for your support.

  7. Hey Bill!
    Congrats on your 100th post! Yipee! Woo hoo! What, no drinks?!

    I think we’re all guilty sometimes of scanning and running when we read a blog post. Sometimes we’re in a hurry. I’ve done this myself a time or two.

    However, I think everyone has different methods for blog reading/commenting. You have to find what works for you. I believe I started my blog just shortly before you did. We’ve come a long way, haven’t we?

    I’ve noticed over time I’ve gotten into a groove with reading/commenting and it’s not a bad thing. There are some posts I always read from top to bottom because they teach me so much I need to know and implement in my business. There are some I read from top to bottom because I enjoy the person’s writing style, wit and humor (that’s why I’m here). There are still others that I scan for some valuable snippets or things that I think my own audience will enjoy so I read and then share.

    Like I said, everyone has their own way of making it work out there. You just have to find your own groove:)

    • Last week I fell flatter than a pancake and didn’t like the feeling. It’s better this week and I’m sure I’ll figure it out.

      Work is keeping me busy but that’s always a good thing.

      I would have brought out the party hats for number 100, but feel guilty dragging a used post out. Maybe 101 will be my epic hit…….:).

      So good to see you and I do appreciate the RT’s and kind words.

      I hope you had a great weekend.

  8. You know what’s pitiful? I always thoroughly read a post and still miss the point. I failed at speed reading in the second grade. And that was followed up with a bad grade in reading comprehension! And I love to read! I just hate answering questions about how I interpret what I’ve read. t’s all about feeling to me. Quite the cop out, but it works for me! LOL!
    And I really think I’m a good listener. I wonder how many times I’ve misinterpreted what people write or say and they’ve never told me? All I can say is I must have very gracious friends!

    • Everybody listens differently and if you have your own interpretation on what is being said or written, then I guess that is just your style, huh?

      I’m just glad you are here, you can respond any way you want.

      I’m lucky and gracious to have friends like you.

  9. Bill, I know the feeling. I don’t think it’s the quantity of posts you visit as much as the attention you pay to the post. I spend more time reading posts and commenting on people’s blogs I’ve gotten to know. So I think that’s how I spend my time. If I know the blogger well, they get more of my attention. If I don’t know them so much, they get less. If I don’t know them at all, they get a random comment from my list of archives of random comments. These are three examples from my random archives. “Who are you?” “Please send the money to this address _____________” and “Wonderful comment”. 🙂

    • Yes, send money……..:).

      My challenge last wk was I didn’t get to see anybody; but I know this can change for day to day or week to week. I just need to keep doing what I can do and let the chips fall where they may; I’m sure social won’t stop without me.

      Thanks for your thoughts and visit; much appreciated.

    • Hola Conchita, thanks for stopping by. I kind of limped in for 100, but I will take it as last week was a supreme struggle for me. I actually have several posts in the ‘can’ but just didn’t feel like posting them.

      All I know is I want to write like you when I grow up. So good to see you half-marathon lady, great job.

  10. Hi Bill, First let me say Congrats on your 100th post. Glad I met you via Adrienne Smith’s blog. I came in at the right time for the celebration.
    Funny how we can go back and not take our own advice. It has happened to me many times. We have the “answer” and then apply it but sometimes it drifts t nowhere land.
    When on a blog, you have to read the whole thing. Then make a great comment. I’m a stickler about commenting because in doing so, it does create more traffic to your fold from others.
    If I’m on a blog and catch myself speed-reading, I realize that I have to re visit it later. I won’t comment unless I understand it.
    However, there are some of my friends that are techies. I cannot even put a plug in on my blog without screwing it up. When I comment on that kind of thing, I tell them the truth. Something like: This is way over my head, but I appreciate you teaching people. If I need to do this, I’ll hire you. Really….that’s what I do.
    I must say I enjoyed your post and your writing style. Good to meet you,
    Donna

    • I learned from some of the best on the importance of a meaningful comment. However, they do take time so the challenge is, do you cut back on who you can visit and comment on? If nothing else, I do try to ‘promote’ my friends with RT’ing their post at least.

      I also have a very diverse group I follow and like the learning I gain from knowing and interacting with people from all walks of life.

      So good to see you; Adrienne is the best with community and she has done a superb job of building her network and her business. She is definitely good peeps…..

      Thanks for taking the time to stop by and sharing your thoughts; certainly much appreciated.

    • Ah yes, the humidity. I’m accustomed to it and certainly prefer warmth (freakin’ hot) over the cold. And yes, with it getting dark at 8:30 pm now it’s very hard to park in front of a keyboard.

      I attended a Chamber function on social media today and it certainly wasn’t anything I didn’t already know but did give me a mini wake-up call on some things I could be doing more purposefully for LUI.

      Only so many hours in a day, and who is going to pay me for my time, right? Good to see you sir…….

  11. It was really interesting to return to this post when I made the time to fully read and respond. My comment above was to let you know I’d dropped by. But I didn’t want to comment fully until I’d read the post fully. I’m like that, you know. I don’t comment on posts unless I’ve read them. I take time, each and every day, to step away from the tools and toys. And as you well know, I too am going through a period of introspection and redefining my purpose, vision and goals, both online and off.

    You’ve established yourself, Bill, and for me that means you’ll always be on my radar screen (cone of silence and shoe phone), regardless of your frequency of posting.

    Bumps on the road are just part of the journey: I relate:) Cheers! Kaarina

    • I think I need the Hemingway week but address and tackle some of this ‘stuff’ that seems to have just gotten away from me. It’s hard from the outside looking in when you see everybody doing their thing, but that’s just the way it is right now. Other than just being rank, whatever rankings I had anywhere I’m sure I’m getting close to less than zero.

      It’s not that I don’t know what to do, I just don’t know how much ‘want to’ that I have and that is what is frustrating me.

      Oh well, I don’t think I’m losing ground and if I just disappeared I would probably be no better or no worse off than before I jumped into this quagmire.

      Good to see you oh loyal friend………..

      • OK, we gotta’ get this “notify me of follow-up comments via email” thing straightened out, my friend. Loyal I am, but I don’t always have the memory to head back here often enough to keep up with the comments thread. And if I did, I might just start a #TeamBlogJack.

        You’re not losing ground. You’re not disappearing. It IS a quagmire. Let’s Skype! I’m now going back to polish my crown:) Cheers! Your loyal friend, Snowshoes

  12. Kaarina,

    I read the whole thing, even took time to sit still for five minutes. I love the way you started the post; how there are so many posts about how to be a good listener or totally “suck” at it. And I know the feeling of rushing through life.

    Bob

  13. I understand what you’re going through, and even though you asked a lot of questions, I have one solution for you. It’s not a pill, but it’s a book I bought a while back, when I had some of the same thought. It’s called SLOW (I can’t remember the subtitle, but you’ll find it if you do a search on amazon). It changed my perspective, and that’s exactly what I’m doing now – I’m more focused and doing things slowly.

  14. Moving stuff, Bill.

    Thanks so much for reviving the post, still very relevant 🙂

    Something I think a lot of people miss out on, is that there’s a huge difference between ‘intellectual’ knowledge, and masterful, habitual, celluar-ized knowledge.

    One’s so natural it’s like breathing, the other is hard to follow, even if it’s our own 🙂

    I’m known as a genius, and for a while I thought my smart knowledge was enough to put me ‘ahead’ — I was wrong, and I learned about the power of emotional knowledge through some hard times 🙂

    • There’s smart, and there’s too smart. I find most people in my profession who have success are just smart enough. The ‘too smarts’ over think everything and it’s hard for them to just pull the trigger and make the call.

      That’s not to say the ‘too smarts’ can’t adapt, sometime they just have to dumb it down a little bit…………..which I do well………..:).

      Good to see you my friend, I hope you have been well.

      • That is pretty much what I was getting at – but you dumbed it down 😛

        Hahaha… as a ‘too-smart’ who’s adapted (quite the journey), I totally agree. Rock on and ryze up!

  15. Ha, ha, ha…..skimmed it and missed the point. Damn, that’s sooo 2011 or last week in the blogging world. Well, maybe not even in the blogging world but real life. People skim, cut corners, et al all the time to save time but in the end what do they get? A rich experience. Nope!

    Nothing wrong with repurposing content especially if it has some decent value as this does.

    I try my damndest to read the posts (blogs) I visit. Why else wouldn’t you do that? Well, if all you’re interested in is tactics on building traffic. Tsk, task.

    BTW, my 100th post came and went. I think I did a little woo hoo but it was kind of a non-event. Huh. Here’s a link if yer interested….http://theviewfromhere.ca/2012/04/20/how-can-comfort-food-teach-us-to-act-in-our-best-interests/

    Big no, no…….grin.

    • Thanks for the heads-up on the 100th. Just between you and me I think it’s quite the accomplishment. Especially knowing how easy it is to hit the wall at times just as you are running out of gas……..not a good combo.

      Lately I’ve been doing more reading than commenting and trying to RT the posts for my friends. I’m here, but reverting back to invisible to a certain degree. Social is certainly going on without me, but whadda ya gonna do, huh?

      Good to see you sir; hope your week has been well.

  16. Hi Bill, I really enjoyed your post about excuses. 😉

    Yes, there are so many blogs that have amazing content I would like to visit all the time, but there are only so many hours in the day.

    I have slowed down and will only be posting 3 a week now. I agree with you, it’s easy to have the blogging stuff take over your life. There is always a new place to visit and, as long as you’re there, leave a comment.

    Considering there are 66 comments here so far, I don’t think your absence has been a sufficient effort in scaring away your readers. Try adding a Math Captcha if you want to discourage readers. Works like a charm.

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