I am not a Dick

Of course not, everybody knows me by Bill or Billy even though my given name is William Kenneth. But from what I have been reading online and if it’s true, it appears it will be necessary to change my name if I want to find true success. Apparently some think being a Dick is the path to A-list status and beyond.

I have been told ‘you don’t know Dick‘ before, but actually I do know Dick, and Jack too BTW; they both are actually stand-up guys. Personally, I think it’s a pretty bold statement going through life as a Dick instead of Richard or Rick…….but that’s just me…….

A Dick by any other name

A couple of gurus ‘experts’ have proclaimed it’s necessary to be a Dick if you want to stand out in social or be a leader. I would have linked one of those posts, but it’s not my style to call someone out so you will just have to take my word for it. Trust me, you probably know who they are.

Anyway, the gist of the post was apparently you can’t be a Sam or an Ed to be successful, but the best model was to be a Dick. If you are a Dick, then friends don’t matter anyway because they will just slow you down; you can write anything you want regardless of the collateral damage; and no need to worry faking being ‘social’ in social, it’s just a waste of time.

But if you were Sam or Ed and tried to change your name to Dick don’t you think people will see right through that? I mean, if you are not born a Dick, do you really think you can become one just by showing up and saying now you are one?

Dick’s make the best leaders

What challenges will HR have if a company advertises for the CEO position and it clearly states only Dick’s can apply. And this goes back to changing your name; do we have potential litigation here if someone felt they were forced become a Dick, just so they would be considered for the position?

The best leaders don’t have to be buddies with their work force, but do they really have to be a Dick?

My experience has been the best leaders are in touch with their employees, they have the right management team assembled that is able to not only get people on the bus but get them in the right seat as well, and they have the right culture starting at the top. It’s more about fairness and consistency than being a Dick.

Dick-less traits of a good leader

  • A good leader has integrity and exemplary character
  • A good leader is enthusiastic about their work and their company
  • A good leader is confidant and committed to excellence
  • A good leader is dedicated
  • A good leader will give credit where credit is due
  • A good leader is fair and leads with humility
  • A good leader is creative and open to different ideas
  • A good leader has a sense of humor
What are your thoughts
Just like a parent, you can be buddies with your children but at the end of the day you need to be their parent. Same with a boss, that’s what we expect you to be.
Sure, there are different leadership styles, but do you really have to be a Dick?
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76 thoughts on “I am not a Dick

  1. Hi Bill, I agree, it’s the same with tech blogs. Some writers feel the need to bash any gadget that’s launched, picking it apart and telling you what’s wrong with it, what need to be improved and why you should wait for the next model. If you followed their advice, you’d never buy any tech.

    When I was a tennis camp counselor at age 17, I was in charge of campers who were pretty close to my age so I struggled a bit with leadership. I saw there were two ways to lead: to be feared and to be admired. The latter seemed to be the better choice to me.

    I’m glad you chose the latter path as well, Bill. It’s difficult to imagine you as anyone other than the lovable Billy Dot Me!

    • People need to use the grandmother test; if you wouldn’t talk to your grandmother that way, then maybe you need to find a way to get your point across in way that is not offensive or anti-social.

      When I was in the Army I made sergeant before my 20th birthday; I probably looked like I was about 16. I knew there was no way I would get lower ranking people to do what I wanted by barking orders at them. More times than not I had to jump in and show them I wasn’t asking them to do something I wouldn’t do. That seemed to work well enough.

      As much as maybe I wanted to be the ruggedly handsome bad-boy that women seem to prefer, I have pretty much been sweet William all of my life. I just don’t have it in me to be mean and nasty. Oh well…..

      Good to see you, find me a new iPad I can win and I’ll tell you how much I like it……..:).

      • I agree and would use the grandmother test, were mine not hard of hearing and unable to understand anything I say. So, instead, I will use the Bill’s Grandmother test, because I wouldn’t want her to think ill of me.

        I’ve held several management positions in my life. I have led by example and by brute force, the latter got results, but was only good in the short term. The people who respected me were willing to do the job correctly, even when I wasn’t around.

        I learned that people who like to yell and demean are only doing it for themselves, not for the betterment of their company. They get a rush out of tearing people down.

        I think friendly is the way to go.

    • Ok Mr Meeks, I am going to try something here. Since you commented under Carolyn’s reply and I still have a cheap free site I couldn’t even get you a reply button under your comment. Therefore, maybe by piggybacking again on Carolyn’s you will get this (and the same for all your comments here, which were greatly appreciated).

      Both of my grandmother’s are no longer with us so you might have to talk really loud, OR you don’t have to talk at all because they know what we are thinking…..:).

      Sometimes you have to be an ass at times to get your point across, especially after you have tried everything else. Long term however, it’s probably not a sustainable strategy.

      Thanks for coming by; sorry Carolyn if you are getting this and yes, that is enough reason to have a self-hosted site, huh?

  2. Hey Bill,

    I got slightly paranoid when I saw this post, and wondered if you were partially referring to my post on censorship in blogging! Then I saw you refer to these guys as “experts”, and didn’t think you’d describe me in such a way! 😉

    To clarify my post from last week and to talk about this post, whereas there may be some longevity in being a dick in some circumstances, there’s no substance to it. More about that in a minute. My post last week was basically referring to the fact that I think there’s too much brown-nosing in the blogosphere, when people should say it as it really is.

    I like “real talk”, but at the same time, I don’t like it when people are dicks. I think there’s a difference between being controversial and being a dick. Referring back to my earlier point, whereas some boards might like to have leaders that are horrendously ruthless – say if some extreme form of cost-cutting is necessary, that “ruthless” leader lives a shallow life. A caring leader would look for any possible ways of reducing costs without “culling” the workforce.

    I certainly agree that you should never change who you are. For the record, I don’t think anyone should be a dick in any sort of business. It just doesn’t work, and there’s no longevity. You’ve got to tick the three magic boxes of know, like and trust. It’s the people like Gary Vaynerchuk who get alot of positive attention, that’s because he says it like it is and cuts through the bull. But when it comes to his employees, customers and followers, he’s one of the most caring guys I know.

    The bottom line: be honest and genuine about who you are. But don’t be a dick.

    P.S. Please let me know in the reply if I was one of the people you were calling out 🙂

    P.P.S. I’ve never used the d-word so much in my life! lol

    • See, everybody thought I was talking about being a dick, and I was just talking about a name………..:).

      You were not the one, but you would know them.

      I too would prefer you tell it to me like it is; if it is pertaining to me individually, then at least I will always know where I stand. However, there is nothing wrong in being tactful with how you present your message or deal with others. I am much more impressed with a no nonsense leader who is fair and consistent but knows where that line is in being a dick or not.

      Oh yes, there is plenty of brown-nosing in the blogosphere and I try to link people judiciously so it doesn’t appear I have my nose stuck up someone’s butt. However, if I’m truly appreciative or think someone needs recognition I’m more than happy to do so. However, some of the same people I referenced above are blatantly obvious climbers and if they don’t think you can help their cause you are quickly forgotten unless you want to do all the heavy lifting. But that’s social and I’m just glad I saw their true colors sooner rather than later….

      You sir, I will call out by name…………:).

      Thanks for dropping by; I must have missed your post so I will have to go check it out. You should have linked it up in your reply……

      • I can see the point about brown nosing. I’ve wondered if I come off that way. My problem is that I tend to either really like someone, or not. If the person is in category 2, then I just move on. Those that I like, I tend to sing their praises when ever I get the chance. How many times have I reference Gini Dietrich? Maybe a million. She lets me post on her site and I am forever grateful. Shonali Burke, is another, and even Danny Brown, because I love his comments.

        There are other people I am just as fond of, Del Williams, Bob Borson, Nick Lovelady, Alexandra and Kymberly, but you’ve not likely heard of any of these people, except Del, because they have different interests. So I sing their praises, too, (on their blogs) but it looks like I’m just going on about the well known people, when I really tend to go on about everyone I like. It is just my way.

        I am just being honest. Honesty isn’t only reserved for the negative.

    • Sorry Robert but see my reply to Carolyn/Bryan above.

      Bryan, you can not give enough praise to Gini/Danny/Shonali; they are definitely the real deal. I was able to have dinner w/ Shonali last Wednesday so it was a real treat and put me in the bonus round.

      Are the others I need to check out? Why didn’t I make the list?….:)

      Good to see your around here Brian, hope you have been well.

      • My motto is simple – give credit where it’s due. If someone is awesome, praise them! As Brian said, honesty manifests itself in both positivity and negativity. Being negative means being a dick. Being constructive is not being a dick.

        I see lots of comments from guys with extensive business experience such as Mark and yourself – it’s clear that a true leader knows how to lead by treating people properly, regardless of the size or type of the organisation. It’s also clear that there’s a high correlation between leaders and dicks LOL. There’s no room for dicks in any walk of life, but there’s always gonna be some!

        I’m a massive fan of straight-talk, and I always have been. I expect others to be the same around me. Glad you’re a friend who will say it to me like it is. If someone has criticism but they are respectful about it, I’d much prefer them to say something to me than say nothing at all.

    • Nobody is perfect and probably nobody will do something exactly like you want them to; therefore, it is very easy to always have ‘constructive’ criticism. However, this is something that should be used very judiciously and you should focus more on recognizing and acknowledging the things that are being done well; this will usually make people respect you and work harder for you.

      Do you want someone willing to take a bullet for you or be afraid they will be the first to duck once the live fire starts?

      • Feisty grandmothers can be cool. Mine was by the book Church of God minister’s wife. She was not a warm and fuzzy either; you definitely knew who was in charge and she was only about 5′ tall.

        Thanks for stopping by; hope you are well.

  3. Great leaders build people up; they don’t beat them down.

    To be a dick you must be also be a complete idiot. Everyday a dick display’s his complete and utter ignorance toward himself and others for all the world to see and observe.

    When I was a young man, I just ‘slapped’ the dicks silly. As I grew older, I began to understand the blindness of their heart and the foolishness of their ways. Karma is real bitch. You can’t escape it.

    Dick’s are oblivious to productive and fruitful living. They don’t have an understanding of these and therefore never attain or experience them. Dumb asses!

    Regardless of the fact that they are already the lowest form of life that exists on the planet and lead a dismal and pathetic life, I would still pray that one day God would cut their air supply off.

    The world would be a much better place without dicks!

    • Dick’s are the ones who have 5 people at their funeral because they didn’t know how to have true friends. Dick’s are also the ones who only have friends and supporters while they are in power; once that is gone nobody wants to hang around with them.

      You can be a very effective leader just by being fair and consistent; just because you see injustice or want to call someone out, there is no need to be mean spirited about it. I’m more impressed if you can handle those situations w/ tact than from some bully pulpit.

      I see it social too, the people that think they need to be controversial on their proverbial quest to make the A team. It might work for some, but it drives me away; I don’t need conflict, especially in social, that’s just silliness……..somebody needs to get a life.

      Good to see you sir, hope all has been well. Thanks for dropping by today.

  4. Hmmm…I think we should have a “name that dick” contest, or at least one that attempts to figure out who those “experts” are.

    They say nice guys finish last, and I guess that’s the premise of dickism. (I actually really dislike that word and can’t believe I’m using it. But when in Rome…or Billy’s place…)

    I once knew someone who was the female epitome of this. She was mean, didn’t care who she stepped on, brought people to tears, told less-than-truths and generally swooped around like a holier-than-thou goddess.

    People hated her, but she got tons of attention, butt kissing, opportunity and awards. Hmmmm again.

    I guess the point is: would we want to be her? I call it plastic adoration. It might “look” like she had it all going on, but there was nothing “real” about it. The traits you describe about a good leader? I’ll take those any day of the week. After all, the dicks are really wearing the emperor’s new clothes. Cheers! Kaarina

    • Kaarina, one thing about your “female epitome” that holds true is that it’s lonley at the top when you have no friends. Would she rather have some friends or alientate everyone around her? She can think about that on her way down. Gravity is a bitch.

    • King Richard…..yes, usually the dick-head leaders think they are respected and have friends but most are only around because of that person’s position and nothing else. When you leave an encounter with someone like this and you hear someone say ‘what a jerk’ or ‘what an ass’. that is usually a good sign of how much people respect them.

      Having said that, some people thrive on that; they love being the ‘ass’, the bad guy. Life’s too short to always have a chip on your shoulder in my opinion.

      I believe you might know some of the players involved; I’m sure we have talked about them a time or two. Thanks for sharing your story and dropping by; hope your weekend was well.

  5. That’s it Bill! I have had enough of your……wait. Wrong Bill. Wrong Ralph too!

    The only way to lead a team is to be inclusionary and help the people around you to succeed. I have this cliche taped to my wall near my PC (which is I look for most of the day) “Treat other people the way you want to be treated”. It’s been overused but you know what, I don’t care.

    It IS THE ONLY WAY to be.

    You are spot on about your leadership “dickless” traits. This is a topic I really DO know something about. All the other experts can chime in for sure. Some “healthy” debate on this subject is more than welcome.

    I have been reading a lot about the hard criticism out there in the blogosphere from the experts and gurus and know-it-alls. We are all here to help each other out and part of that it is constructive criticsm. Another “dickless” trait when handled with respect and dignity.

    • The one rule of treat others like you would want to be treated probably trumps all. The other rule is ‘would you talk to your grandmother that way’ probably works too.

      Be human, be civil but just be fair and consistent and you will never have trouble looking yourself in the mirror or wonder why you really don’t have any close friends.

      Some people get very nasty in here and I just have to wonder how much of a social misfit are they in real life too? Now that everybody has a voice, where did these clowns come from anyway. Just be respectful, I will be much more impressed with what you have to say.

      Good to see you sir; thanks for the drive-by.

    • Social is fluid like that; doesn’t everybody just drive-by on their way to the next stop……and you are peppering me with your words as you are going by……….:).

      Everybody has their unique style and even the biggest dicks ala Donald Trump can have success. Personally, I think it’s a very shallow existence being a jerk all of your life…….but that’s just me thinking…..

      • That’s good thinking Bill. I agree. The only good jerk is Jamaican Jerk (on chicken or pork or tufu – surprisingly good even if you’re not a vegetarian).

  6. Hey Bill!

    I liked your “grandmother test” comment earlier. It made me think of my wedding. Yes, I know that sounds odd. We had cameras on the tables at our wedding reception. The idea was for guests to take candid shots so that we would have lots of great pictures to remember our beautiful reception. Well, my husband’s buddies had some other ideas and some of those cameras ended up in the bathroom. When we had the pictures developed, to my surprise, a lot of the guys were just being “dicks.” 😉 I had to make two piles of pictures: One pile that my grandmother could see and another to just go in the trash! Ha ha! Just wanted to brighten your day with that story.

    Those who feel that being a Dick is the only way to be a leader may have had poor representations of leaders to follow themselves. Although leaders are looked up to, people still want to feel like they can relate to that person. People generally don’t feel that way about Dicks.

    • Uh oh, your husband’s buddies sounds like some of my friends. Maybe a wedding was not the place to do that……….I had a fraternity brother leave my wedding reception with a case of champagne….nice, huh?

      My common theme is just be fair and consistent; we don’t have to go out and get a beer, but you don’t have to demean me or intentionally be hurtful to make a point. Respect me and I’ll respect you; treat others like you would want to be treated is always a good rule to follow.

      Good to see you; hope your weekend went well. I’m glad you were able to stop by today.

  7. Oh, finally nothing about “me” written all over… eh? 😉 Well, almost!

    I have had some experience being a leader and I would have to say, sometimes you just need to be the “bad guy”. Yes, but the good police, bad police kind of thing I figure. Like you say parents have to be buddies, but they HAVE to be parents. I can be the leader, lead a team, motivate members, ask you for ideas, be the follower at times, maybe go with the flow of things, be humble, ask you to do things, but if you still have to be the lazy one who wants to beat up the rest and feel that just being there is going to get you brownie points, sorry I just have to be a little big brother with you. If you know what I mean! 🙂

    Nothing harsh, but getting the point across is important.

    It is like the toughest teacher we had in college. I did take a class of English Literature during the first year of college and when the professor came in, she warned us that we were doing the biggest mistakes of our life picking English because we thought we spoke it well. (For all of us English wasn’t the first language). She made sure she highlighted how speaking English and studying literature are like miles apart. We thought she was being a “dick”. But then when the first test results came out after three months; almost over 20 percent of the students got an F. She was the best teacher; deciphering literature and writing essays on characters was a toughie. So, sometimes the dick can actually turn out to be the good guy… just sayin. But yes, she could have told us in a better way and most of us would have got the message. She didn’t have to be such… you know.

    And yes, I did always get an A in literature! Just sayin…

    • English was one of my harder subjects………and that’s the truth. I knew how to read but could care less about suppositions, propositions, nouns, verbs, pronouns, etc. Once you started throwing all of that in there you might as well have been talking Greek. Once I lose interest, you lose me totally…….just sayin’…….

      I had a risk management/insurance class in college and the guy was truly a dick. We had two tests all year; the first test which counted for 1/3 of your overall grade, 80% of the class failed it. That was a class he was definitely talking Greek. Fortunately I made it out of there…..

      Sometimes you have to be the tough guy and lay down the law; and sometimes the only way people get the message is if you knock them upside the head with a 2X4. However, I still think you can show some civility and fairness and handle it without everybody thinking you are jerk. Some people don’t even try to be civil, or could care less who they offend, and those are the ones I usually tune out.

      Leadership by intimidation can only carry you so far.

      I know, it was kind of tough not to talk about myself too much but maybe I’m getting better, huh?

      Thanks for coming by; always a pleasure to see you, hope your weekend went well.

      • Oh yes! Civility is the way it should be. Like the neighbor who drops his chewing gum outside my door while on his way to the elevator and says it just slipped out… he doesn’t even want to try… what’s up with people like that?

        Ah yes, I won the contest. So, yes blogging made me rich this week! 🙂

        Thanks for coming by and comment bombing the post! 🙂

      • I always did better in classes that were challenging.

        When I think about my two favorite classes, they were taught by two vastly different men. One was a complete dick and one was really nice, both were brutally tough graders. In the end, I survived both classes and grew to respect and like each of them.

        This is the worst example I could have possibly given, as it didn’t validate either side of the argument. I guess, my point is, two fold. One, I’m bad at giving examples. Two, though I generally hate dicks, there have been a few who knew how to push my buttons to make me better, and for that, I thank them.

    • I hate lazy people who either litter or don’t pick up their trash; that’s another pet peeve and maybe post material……

      That’s great you won the contest, now you really need to hide your money…..:). Allie didn’t know she was up against the buzz saw, huh?

    • Sorry Hajra if you are getting this but I’m trying to reply to Bryan. Looking back, some of my toughest teachers are the ones who got the most out of me. However, I had some more jovial ones that I performed well for too. I guess the trick is finding what the motivator is at the time and not use a one size fits all approach, huh?

      Your examples? I see you feel strongly both ways about it……:)

      • I would agree with both the examples. One reason was why I was go good at literature is because I worked more on it..why? Because I just had to prove it to that lady that I didn’t make the wrong choice. So, maybe her being such a dick did work after all. But not on everyone taking that class. For me it was like whenever she said that you guys have done a huge mistake, I was motivated to read another book on Shakespeare; others just go de-motivated.

        Also, I had a teacher who always wanted us to call her by name so that we all could not “study” but learn like we were friends and be cordial and we all did well too.

        Okay, I am also terrible at putting across a debate; but yes, it is like what works for some doesn’t always for others. Sometimes dicks do end up being the good guy; but then you think, they could have been a little better about it the whole way along.

  8. If you work for a Dick usually your job is just a job and you will leave if you find something or a better offer. But if you work for a Jane or a Seymour often your job is more a career and you are more engaged in it. Now if you work for a Diddy or a Snoop your job is a lifestyle and you live your job. But of you work for a PT Barnum you might travel a lot. And if you work for Ronald you probably travel very little.

    I think great leaders do not need to be Dicks. But great leaders will be a Dick when they need to be. Steve Jobs was a Dick always. Bill Gates just sometimes. And Newt Gingrich can’t find his….badda bing!

    • Damn Howie, you are so smart; that’s why I like hanging with you. I think Newt did find his, it was on his shoulders…..

      Ronald might not be a bad gig; I think you can eat all the french fries you want.

      Personally, I don’t want to be the lonely at the top guy; I want my knucklehead friends around me making sure I’m keeping it real, and they will certainly do that. I feel I’ve been successful enough with my style; I would like to think more people say ‘what a nice guy’ instead of ‘what a dick’ after I meet them.

      I actually do care what people think about me; not in a lose sleep anxiety type way, but in there is some value knowing me kind of way. That’s not a bad MO, is it?

      Good to see you sir; hope life is well in the green mountains….do they have gangs up there? Are they all wearing flannel shirts, either blue or red plaid?

  9. Just talking about the social media part, it seems like acting that way is certainly the easy route in the short term. You can get traffic, links, etc. by being controversial and, well, not so nice… But to what effect? What will your brand be in the long run? Seems like a fairly short-sighted strategy the majority of the time.

    And yes, it’s me. My picture is gone because it’s easier than logging in to WordPress.com. 🙂

    • And because I can edit this, I think I will draw a picture in for your face; maybe a missing tooth, black eye, etc…….

      Controversial, opinionated people will get the attention and sometimes you have to be the willing to lead the charge and take the arrows. However, just be decent and respectful at least; some people thrive on being a dick-head and that to me is so shallow, almost insecure.

      Those are the guys who get caught w/ the prostitute dressed up in women’s clothing………..:).

      Sometimes nice doesn’t work and you have to be firm, but you can still be civil.

      That’s my story; good to see you.

  10. It’s been interesting to count how many times “dick” has been mentioned in the post and comments. Actually I lost count and don’t have the time to go back and start over. But everyone sure had fun with it.

    I’m trying to figure out who these “experts” are you’re referring to 😉

    Maybe if someone leads like Richard III they would be considered a giant Richard or just douchey.

    The best way to lead is to lead by example, but unfortunately about every manager I’ve had did not follow this rule. They usually took the opposite route.

    The role of evil tyrant was held equally by both men and women and I can honestly say I’ve had some pretty sorry bosses. One was so affected with himself that I’m convinced he created meetings just to hear himself talk. He would show all of us his trip to Japan, his trip to Hawaii, his trip to DisneyWorld with the kids. He would rub it in like that, and he was a master at condescension.

    I had another. A woman who would get off on making people cry. I’m convinced of that. I would never hit a lady, but I’m not sure she qualified. Bad egg, that one.

    • Too many dicks to count, huh? Good thing I’m comfortable in my sexuality, huh? Somebody might get the wrong idea about this post…:).

      We have all seen good and bad leaders; and Brian made a good point as I had some serious taskmasters as teachers who weren’t necessarily likable but they got the job done. I just know the people I have had to work with who were real dicks, were usually self-absorbed with few true friends. The only way they attracted people was through the position they held. Once that was gone, there weren’t many supporters to be found. Because I do care what people think of me, it would be hard for that to be my leadership style.

      Of course if that’s a woman’s style then she is just a bitch, right? Can I say that in here…………:).

      Good to see you Craig; hope the weather is getting better for you in the great NorthWest.

  11. Hey Bill,

    My name is Jens-Petter, but I go by Jens P. online, it’s so much easier isn’t it? Anyway. I can truly relate to what you’re saying about being a Dick. I don’t meet too many people like that online, because when I do, I just go away and won’t be anywhere close to them again.

    But, talking about horrible bosses, I have a few things on my mind.. but we need to skype about that 😉

    • Yeah, and you don’t even pronounce it like it’s spelled….I’ve heard you say your name before………:).

      Like you, I tend to just stay away if that is someone’s personality. I don’t mind being diverse and having a wide range of friends, but I will limit my time w/ people who are just dicks all the time.

      Speaking of skype, we do need to do that one of these days.

      Hope your new job is still moving forward and you see the light at the end of the tunnel with your book.

  12. “Great leaders build people up; they don’t beat them down.”

    Mark said it right and so did you; nonetheless the Rickys abound. It’s a conundrum, a painful dilemma and a sumbich!

    I also know there’s plenty of people out there that think I’m a Richard. Maybe they are as many who may regard me well or highly.

    I think of a Sammy, a junior programmer and former employee, who thinks I’m a Richard. He even called me out on his blog (a few years ago) until I kindly proposed to challenge him in court on the matter of defamation. The kid wore pimped sneakers with a bad suit to a formal company event and I sent him home to change. He never forgave me the humiliation. Sammy also never forgave me for not investing a million dollars into one of his ideas – a nice concept which he borrowed from his professor- but an academic fantasy (at the time) for which he had no technical solution nor the competence to try. Poor Sammy, I beat that kid’s dreams down. Or so he says.

    My ex-wife thinks I’m a Richard too. Nevermind, she was cheating on me with a billionaire. Three months after she kicked me out of the house that I had bought (and after I had filed the divorce papers), I stopped paying her bills. The billionaire dumped her when his free lunch (sex) was over and my ex-wife will never forgive me for that. [laughing]

    Then, there’s that mafia boss that thought I was a Richard because I made fun of him as he gave the orders to have me dead. “Man up and kill me yourself, you stupid —-,” I shouted at him in the middle of a very expensive and posh restaurant.” But that’s a story for another day.

    So it seems that I too am a RIchard. And I have to live with that. it’s not easy…

    I am glad, however, really deeply glad, that there’s good guys like you, Bill. Seriously! Because if all the world was but a stage for Richards and their armies of yes-men, it would be a poorer world indeed.

    Recently on my blog: Social Savvy: Don’t Blog Like The White Tiger http://wp.me/pbg0R-Gi

    • Ah yes, Stan the man; you can be a Richard because you are not afraid to tell it like it is. Sometimes that is uncomfortable for some, but that is one of the things I admire about you. You say things that most of us wish we had the cajones to say. However, people also know where your heart is and people respect you for that as well.

      I tend to take a more neutral track probably more so because of my personality but also because of my job. When I am out, I am Lanier Upshaw; I don’t think it does me or my company well if I’m controversial. Yes, it is much easier taking the middle road and some say the chicken way out but I’m more of a collaborator and bringing people together instead of being divisive.

      Yes, we want to hear the mafia story and hopefully that’s not why you moved out of the country………:).

      Hope you are well sir; so good to see you, always appreciated.

  13. Well since you didn’t mention Dickett, I think I’m safe here Bill. Whew!!!

    Wow, are you serious? They really think this way and they are successful? Why? Oh that’s right, I’m of the older generation when I still believe in integrity, loyalty, treating people with respect, etc. I guess “some” of the younger generation wasn’t taught those particular values. What a shame.

    I always try to live by the motto of treating people the way I would want to be treated. When I stick with those methods Bill, my grandmother and mother would be proud. Hey, I sleep better at night.

    To heck with them, let them do their own thing. We can all stay on the straight and narrow and still have success. Just watch us! 🙂

    • I don’t think you can stereotype them, but my perception of most of the people who act like this over compensate because they were spoiled brats or have a chip on their shoulder because nobody liked them as kids either.

      It is a good motto to live by and that doesn’t mean you can’t be stern when need be, but you don’t have to be a butt about it either.

      Nice guys can win and I know plenty of examples where that is the case. If I have to make a choice, then I will choose nice; we already have enough nastiness in the world anyway.

      Good to see you, thanks for taking the time to stop by.

  14. Hi Bill….I seem to have set a dubious record of being one of the last to arrive at your place….I’d like to think I’m fashionably late (makes me feel less guilty)
    So…first of all, I don’t think that it takes most people very long to figure out when they are dealing with a Dick instead of a Richard or a Rick…true colors have a way of showing themselves eventually all by themselves…you can fool some of the people some of the time but not all of the people all of the time….(does that work here?) I pride myself on my “disingenuous radar”…I am not usually fooled by disingenuous people…usually.
    And,finally, for some very weird reason, the minute I read your post, I started “hearing” this song in my head….I think it is apropos ….
    *I wouldn’t be a Willy or a Sam….

    • I’m Henry the VIIIth I am……I used to sing that song all the time.

      The big question is, are you born the way you are or is it a learned behavior? I have probably been known for having a ‘sweet’ disposition all of my life. I don’t know if that is a good thing or bad thing but would like to think there is more good associated with it. I can’t think of anytime in my life where I thought I’d be more effective as a jerk.

      Having said that, I would prefer you show me your true colors regardless of what they are and I can decide how to deal with it accordingly; just as long as I know where I stand.

      There have been a few in social who turned out to be different than I was led to believe who they were, but that happens in real life too so it wasn’t a surprise. I’m pretty comfortable with my core community however; there are some good peeps around here.

      So good to see you; I will be at Spin Sucks in the afternoon tomorrow, it could be my swan song……….:).

      Thanks for stopping by; congrats on getting your office open, when is the ribbon cutting?

      • Dear Henry VIII,
        When it comes to nature vs nurture, I’m a middle of the road-er..so…I believe it’s a little of both…”dickiness” is a little bit innate (country) and a little bit learned (rock and roll)…the bigger issue is whether we, as communities, can assess the origin of that trait and then decide whether or not it works for us. I can’t wait to visit Spin Sucks tomorrow (one of my favorite haunts) for your witty contribution…there will be no speaking of any “swan song”…the Bill Dorman/Henry VIII song is just getting started…it’s just that the second verse may NOT be the same as the first….
        Thanks for your sweet support of my new office journey. I’m thinking you might need to help celebrate the official ribbon cutting to be done in early May (maybe May 8th)…

    • Actually, I am somewhat excited; maybe this will be the impetus to find a little more direction for my efforts. May 8th, huh? My baby boy will be 24 on the 11th…………..yikes………:)

  15. Well, William Kenneth, this is a rather high falluting name, give me Bill anytime unless you want to meet Uma in the dark?

    I have had enough of tricky Dicks in my lifetime, I’d rather go for John, do not get me wrong: it is got nothing do with men in my life but with honesty and that certain sense of humour you mentioned in leadership qualities.

    • It is pretty high fallutin’ huh? It’s funny because I’m named after my dad but instead of being a Junior I’m the 2nd; now that’s high fallutin’…:).

      Honesty probably trumps being a dick in my book; if you are honest regardless of your personality at least you know where you stand. Then you can choose how you want to interact with this person appropriately.

      So good to see you; hope you have been well. I don’t know if you ever make it over to Spin Sucks, but I will be there this afternoon. I will have it linked to my post I will publish this afternoon as well; would love to see ya.

  16. I’m dizzy! Ha!
    I’d rather be a boss than have one.
    I’m a fun mom, but a rather stern one, too.
    I don’t have much to say believe it or not except that I can quit any job except mom. I’m a lifer. That said, I don’t burn bridges, and I try to think about everything being a memory some day and try to keep the balance heavy on the good side!

    • I stay dizzy……..:). Ah yes, I would much rather be the boss than have one. I’m kind of in that position now w/out the management responsibilities. I’m an owner but we have a management team that runs the place; I’m responsible for new business product and being an ambassador for our company. I come and go as I please and don’t really answer to anyone as long as I’m doing what I’m supposed to be doing; pretty sweet, huh?

      Being in sales and selling a product where you keep a customer on average 7-10 years, you definitely do not want to burn any bridges. If you are a Richard, sometimes that is not easy to do.

      When people think of me, I would be happy if it was a good memory.

      So good to see you; hope you have been well.

  17. Bill, this issue is getting to be very serious in the workplace and elsewhere. People seem to have gotten through life without being corrected. Brian poses an excellent distinction: when it’s about them, not the job, not the company, not making people better, it’s being a D word. Once upon a time, these folks would have been challenged. Now people are confused and tolerate their dickiness as being something other than narcissism (which is apparently admired). I will tolerate it when the person has knowledge, a plan, or is looking out for the group. Otherwise, it’s time to criticize and correct the person.

    • I have found the Richard’s in the world typically are more self-centered; it’s more about them and making them look good than any other altruistic motives. As a whole, they tend to be less giving, less community oriented because it does not further their cause.

      I tend not to associate w/ people of this ilk, or at least minimize my time because they can be very draining; they will suck the soul out of you if you let them.

      They are much more tolerable if they are honest however; just let me know where you are coming from.

      Thanks for taking the time to stop by and leave your thoughts; much appreciated.

    • My dad and my son carry it as well; it’s what my wife calls me when I go from mild mannered to boiling point, because it is totally out of character for me…….

  18. A lot of things are happening right now (for my business and my book), and you didn’t make it easier for me announcing that Gini Dietrich will be speaking in Norway.. now I have to borrow $500 for a ticket 🙂

    • I would just find out where she is staying and meet her for coffee….or pizza. That’s what Adam Toporek and I did when she came to Orlando. We were fortunate enough to get an hour of undivided attention with her; it was very enjoyable. I will vouch for her, she is the real deal; she’s probably the only one out of that whole lineup I would pay money to see.

      Speaking of Gini, I’m guest posting at Spin Sucks this afternoon if you get a chance to stop by.

      I hope your ankle gets better; that’s what happens when you run barefooted in the snow at night in your PJ’s though……..:)

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