What am I, chopped liver?

Do you ever wonder where some sayings come from? If you know me at all, you know I am a chow hound. However, liver is NOT something I ever acquired a taste for; ever. Therefore, chopped liver seems pretty appropriate for me to attach perceived social injustice.

According to Wikipedia one definition is: Since eating chopped liver may not be appreciated by everyone (ya think?), the Jewish English expression “What am I, chopped liver?”, signifies frustration or anger at being ignored on a social level.

I say this phrase often, but fortunately mostly in jest. Social is so fickle and arbitrary at times, it is futile in trying to keep score; you will never win if this is the bane of your existence.

Excuse me, I’m standing right here

Surely this has never happened to you, but have you ever jumped into a comment stream only to watch the comment stream go on and away without you? Did I step in something, maybe I should have checked my shoes before entering, huh?

How come you keep backing away every time I try to get close; I did a breath check.

What am I, chopped liver?

One’s nose can never be too brown, right?

If I spent any more time at your house, you would either have to charge me rent or get a restraining order. I mean, how many ways can I tell you how awesome you are, or I think you are the greatest thing since sliced bread?

Yes, you are busy and popular because I see you freakin’ everywhere, but am I really that bad of a cook? Can’t you just please come by my place once? Why don’t you follow me back; you already follow 22,000 other people?

What am I, chopped liver?

How many lists did you make this year?

True story, one of my very dear friends in social put together a list of 199 bloggers you really need to follow; 199. Guess who didn’t make the list? Talk about invisible.

What am I, chopped liver?

Get over yourself will you, life will not always be fair

This post was originally written about 3-4 months ago, and I accidentally hit publish before it was ready. I pulled it back in and it’s been on the shelf ever since. It is interesting to see how much my thinking has changed since then. Hence, a completely different perspective this time around.

There will never be total reciprocity for you in social. You might be the cat’s meow one week and totally invisible the next. Unless you are the top 1% of who ‘social’ truly deems as ‘A’ listers, then you are just ‘blue collar’ like the rest of us.

My philosophy is just taking care of what I can do; help others along the way when I can; and if someone out there deems me worthy of mention, then that’s a good day. I don’t seek attention, but don’t shy from it either.

What do you really want out of social

Know your mission, know your purpose. I was lulled into thinking it was only about metrics and driving traffic and being noticed by the ‘who’s who’ before you could consider yourself successful. I jumped on that hamster wheel and drank the ‘Kool-Aid‘ and damn near lost an eye.

You want to be the next big thing? You better be willing to give a lot more than you are getting, and don’t forget this is still ‘social’. You would think this should be obvious, but some people want to skip this part. Yes, you can use this as a business platform, but it is always a plus if your customers like you too.

People = success

Pure social media is not the panacea; you are still dealing with real people who have feelings, concerns and their own agenda. You think there were cliques in high school? Times 10 in social, trust me.

Just remember this on your journey; how you’ve been treated and how it made you feel, good or bad. It doesn’t take long to see who the quality people are, just like in real life. Choose your friends wisely, my friend.

I couldn’t be happier with my journey. If you have ever been ‘chop livered’ by me, please feel free to call me out. I have been unfollowed, left off lists, and ignored with the best of them. My advice to you, find what is sustainable and quit worrying about what everybody else is doing. Just be your own ‘awesome’ self.

Be careful what you wish for

Everybody has issues; regardless of what is being preached or written in here, nobody has a perfect life. In fact, some are struggling mightily and just doing what they can to figure it out; they aren’t as successful as you might think they are. The sooner you find your mission and take control of your destiny, the better your chance of success and fulfillment.

Yeah, that was pretty deep; but I can’t be funny all the time……..:)


94 thoughts on “What am I, chopped liver?

  1. Hi Bill, Wow, your post is food for thought (sorry, I couldn’t resist!). I remember when I first ventured into the commenting world in blogging. I visited the site of a top blogger where everyone seemed to know everyone else and the comments were peppered with inside jokes. It seemed that not only had I happened upon a party where I wasn’t invited, but everyone else was best friends with the host.

    But I really enjoyed the post and felt that I wanted to contribute so I left a comment (one of my very first in the blogging world). Lo and behold, I was responded to, not just by the blog owner but by other commenters as well. Everyone made me feel very welcome, as if I were an honored guest.

    You have often referred to blogs as parties, with the owner of the blog being the host. Your blog really does feel like a fun party, Bill, with jokes aplenty but also serious discussions thrown in from time to time. You do a great job of making everyone feel welcome and setting the tone for lively interaction between your guests.

    Anyone who wants to start a blog would do well to come here and study not only your posts but your commenting section. They could do a lot worse than emulating you, my friend!

    • To me, the comments are where you get your ‘education’. However, I think it needs to be conversational. I know some can’t help it, but when I don’t get replies to comments until 2-3 days later, it really looses a lot of its luster to me. In my mind, I’m thinking why are you even posting if you aren’t going to talk? But everybody has their ways.

      Thanks for the kind words and maybe I will do an ‘instructional’ vid now, huh?

      Fortunately, I am in a good place and don’t worry about lists or mentions. Yes, I notice them, but always feel if I had done something worthy enough it would have been noticed. The other thing is, everybody has their own niche so whatever I’m doing might not fit in with their audience. And that’s ok……….

      I’m glad you feel welcome here, and the light will always be on.

      Have a good weekend.

      • Thanks, Bill. I always have felt welcome here. Since you and I started blogging at about the same time, I’ve thought of us as on this blogging journey together. You’ve done a great job at building this site, making connections and getting your name out there in the blogging world. I don’t see you all that much on social media, it’s just your own awesome self that drives your traffic. Well done.

    • That’s funny you say that about not being on social, because I really am not. I might show up and respond on FB or Twitter and I will send tweets out for my friend’s posts, but I’m really not on social that much. Maybe more ‘in’ it than anything. I know sometimes you have to do all that other work to make this happen, but this is what I enjoy about social; being social. Everything else kind of sounded like work, so I try to avoid it if at all possible………..:).

    • I loved that post, but then I kept reading Carolyn’s comment and I liked that too. I remember one of my own post lately that was telling the readers to not only comment on the post but on other comments as well, sometimes. So, here I am doing just that.

      It feels great when you post on a blog for the first time and you are so welcome. However, there are also some blogs where only the owner’s buddies get a reply and those blogs may see me once or twice, but if I am that not welcome I am gone for good fast.

      That was a great post Bill. Really enjoyed it!

  2. Buddy. You know this wild and crazy road is what you make of it. Love comes when love’s given. Are you caring too much? Are you counting kudos and likes when you ought not to?

    Sour grapes don’t taste good nor does chopped liver.

    You’ve made a huge name for yourself in this sector; look at you — sitting on top of the world on Danny Brown’s list! No better place to get accolades than that, my friend!

    • Buddy? I got your buddy…………….:).

      I’m not counting; do I notice? Well yes, I’m not blind, but I’m in a very good place right now with what I’m doing.

      You won’t hear any sour grapes from me, but I still see enough posts from people wondering why this or that didn’t happen. Sometimes I feel they just need to look at what they are doing and instead of chasing all of the time they need to be more focused on giving. But that’s just me.

      Yes, Mr Brown has been more than generous to me for some reason and it is very much appreciated. As I stated in my post, I don’t seek out attention, you won’t get an e-mail from me asking to guest post; all you’ll get is my friendship and support trying to help you when I can.

      Billy is a happy Billy; my tally board is totally clean and I’m not worried about who is doing what. I’ll take care of my stuff and let everything else work its way out; how’s that for a plan?

      Thanks for your thoughts, and if you thought this was a Billy whining post (which I have been prone to do), it was not in the least. It’s my advice for people to get over it………..

      I hope you have a great weekend.

  3. What can I say that hasn’t already been said so well by you? Love this post, especially the reminder to “just be your own ‘awesome’ self”.

    If and when I experience moments of “chopped liver’ism”, it’s always a reminder to regain perspective. Because if I feel that way, it’s not out of anger, resentment or jealousy, but rather out of hurt, disappointment or perplexity. I allow that moment of hurt to exist, and I often find a trusted friend that I can bandy it about with, to get the hurt out and done with.

    You are so right: there will never be total reciprocity in social, or anywhere in life. So I agree: choose your friends wisely, stay true to your course, and to quote what my mother always said to me…in the words of Shakepeare “This above all: to thine own self be true.” Cheers! Kaarina

    • We are all human and we all want to be included. When it doesn’t happen, sometimes you wonder ‘why’?

      Over time, you will know the ones who matter in here and the ones you don’t need to get too deep with.

      Everybody has their model and just because this is ‘social’ doesn’t mean people really want to be social in here. Some confuse business as not being social; all I will say is ‘good luck’.

      You know I am way over all that nonsense; I’m just going to do what I can do and hopefully have some fun with it.

      Good to see you snowshoes, hope you have a fabulous weekend.

  4. I think you already know how I feel about all this crazy social media stuff Bill and that I couldn’t agree with you more.

    It sometimes feels like swimming against the tide but it certainly feels better now that I have had my recent change of direction. I am so laid back about it all now that I doubt that I would even notice if my “liver was chopped’ let alone worry about it.

    So here’s to doing your thing and enjoying the ride rather than adding pressures to life!



    • Social can be very intoxicating and heady at times, so it is easy to start chasing that rabbit. Trust me, I know, I was there.

      Once I started focusing on what I could do (and wanted to do) and realized if someone was chopping my liver, then I just didn’t give a hoot.

      It’s all too fleeting and nebulous to try and bank on any of it. That is why it was important to me to find what was real and sustainable.

      Me I can be, so that’s what I think I will do.

      Good to see you sir; hope you have a great weekend.

  5. Hey Bill,
    For me, this is one of those posts that seems at first glance to be disarmingly simple and funny but in actuality asks some rather deep and pointed questions. I think you nailed it when you said don’t keep score. If your blog is suppose to be revenue generating then treat it as a business. If it’s for social reasons then the criteria should be fun and enjoyment and not blindly following rules and social protocol.

    • I concur Riley and the only thing I would add, even if it’s for business and you are using a blog as part of your platform, there is still a social aspect to it; there needs to be some interaction.

      Where I see most getting sideways is because they are keeping score; they see their peers (who have a similar platform and product) getting all the love and wondering what happened to them.

      My first tell-tell sign was all the places I frequented had a column of favorite bloggers listed on their site. Even though I had plenty of friends in social I never seemed to make that list. And a lot of the bloggers were just like me. It was then the light went on and I could tell there really was no rhyme or reason sometimes, just go with the flow.

      I’m in a good place right now and having fun; any recognition I might get is gravy at this point and I will just accept it for what it is.

  6. I know the guy who created the Jewish Zodiac. That pic you have above makes a for a cool magnet. I know, because it is on my fridge.

    We all get irked by inclusion or exclusion. I’ll speak for myself and readily admit that there have been moments where it chaps my hide to be left off of lists.

    But like you have heard me say before, if you don’t love this you won’t last. I am not here because I need to be loved. If that was the case I’d change my whole approach.

    Blog because you love it. Blog because you like making friends, writing, learning and engaging. Blog for yourself, for whatever fulfills you and good things will happen.

    Chopped liver is something that used to get me in trouble. My grandmother would always make it and I preferred not to eat it. Funny thing was that if you stuck it in between a couple of slices of bread I was just fine, but if you mentioned it,,,,

    Ever have tongue? A tongue sandwich is pretty good. Grandma used to make that a lot too. (Waiting for the degenerates to hit me with the goofy comments about tongue now. You guys probably put mayo on your pastrami and or cornbeef. Feh.)

    • Tongue; I don’t think so……..at least not on purpose……….

      I figured you would pick up on the Zodiac. Isn’t the reference really about somebody else not recognizing your Jewish heritage?

      My mother used to make liver and onions and it would smell so good when she was cooking it. However, once I took that first bite it was ‘no way, Jose’. If chopped liver has the same texture and taste, I’m sure I would be finding my napkin to spit it in………:).

      I do know social is fickle and there is a certain amount of ass-kissing required if you are going to be recognized my some. I have never gone out of my way to seek attention other than being me and I’m sure that has something to do with lists or mentions I don’t make. However, I’m certainly not invisible and haven’t sold my soul to be seen, so I’m happy ‘enough’ people know who I am and what I am about.

      It can be lonely at times, so you should definitely love it.

      Good to see you sir, hope all is well.

  7. This is a wonderful post Bill. I have been a vegetarian for a few years now, but back in the day, chopped liver was one of my favourites.

    Marcus Sheridan just wrote an interesting post about those top blogger lists – I think I’ve decided that while it would be nice to crack a top tenner, it’s really just a distraction. The goal isn’t the accolade or the acknowledgment. The goal is the impact.

    And you, my friend, have considerable impact!

    • Well Ruth, that was a nice thing to say.

      I have made some lists and not made some. When you get hung up on the lists, then not only do you want to be listed, but it also has to be the ‘right’ list as well. It’s never ending.

      It is all so fleeting (like fame) and what does it really mean. I would much rather have some kind of impact in a positive way than making a list.

      Like anyone, I like it and it makes me smile when it happens. When I don’t, I’m pretty sure the sun will still come up tomorrow.

      The interesting thing to do is to go back 6 months and see some of these ‘lists’ and see who is still standing. A lot of times, people will just disappear and the list did nothing to keep them viable.

      So good to see you; hope you have a great weekend.

  8. Hi Bill,
    You’re not the voice of the invisible blogger, you’re the voice of the “I don’t want to be invisible blogger”. None of us wants to, but as you have said, fame is fleeting here and high school cliques have nothing on social media. I think that takes us by surprise, but it shouldn’t. We’re all just a bunch of kids inside, and that being said, what we do here in social media is an evolved version of what we did in high school. We try to right the wrongs, we speak rather than remaining silent. We say what we want, something you do very well.
    Besides, how can YOU be chopped liver when you were mentioned at DB’s this week ;-)\

    • That was nice of DB, for some reason he let’s me hang around…..:).

      One of the things I find funny in social is how people lament how high school sucked for them and mostly because they weren’t popular and in the ‘right’ clique. However, I see them chasing the ‘right’ people in here just so they can get in a clique. Go figure, huh?

      I don’t know if it’s good or bad, but I’m a blender; I can fit in with just about any crowd. If you are not judgmental and keep an open mind you can certainly learn a lot; a lot more than you would than being one-dimensional.

      I am having fun Lori and I’m not keeping score; I’m sure everything will find it’s place eventually.

      Thanks for dropping by; so good to see you today.

  9. Oh, we’ve all been there Bill.

    Heck I was intimidated by you when I first visited your blog. You were everywhere and so many people were saying so many nice things about you that I was the one that felt like chopped liver. Oh yeah, seriously..

    I think there are just some people who are in a “click” crowd and it doesn’t matter who you are they already have their favorites. As for me, I like to give everyone a chance to show me who they are and then I make my own assumptions and move forward.

    You are right though, if you want to be successful online you better man up and get social. If that’s not your thing you better think of doing something else because people are going to purchase things from people they know, like and trust. Some guy throwing me a link will go in my “not so nice” folder. It’s getting really crowded in there too.

    I know that 2012 will be a fabulous year Bill, for all of us and remember, you do have some true online friends among you. Just look at everyone listed above? Awesome people for sure.

    Have a fabulous day Bill and a super duper weekend. Take care.


    • Intimidated until you saw who I really was, huh? Then you had to ask, ‘if this guy can do it, then I should certainly be able to, right’?

      When I first got started and really was everywhere, it helped drive quite a bit of traffic from those efforts alone. I have kind of backed off that because it wasn’t sustainable and don’t have quite the same traffic, but it seems much more predictable and consistent now. And I’m ok with that.

      I try to be open and friendly to all; I’m certainly no more special than anyone else, and just want to treat others like I would like to be treated.

      After blogging for 10 mos now, I have certainly seen plenty of changes. That is the one thing we can count on in here, huh?

      Thanks for the kind words and visit; always good to see you.

      I hope you have great weekend.

  10. I really enjoyed this. Sometimes I get too wrapped up into the day that a light hearted post as yours really puts a smile on my face. Thank you. Although…it does make ya think 🙂

    Catfish Moe
    Moe Real Estate Investments

    • Catfish Moe, good to see you. Catfish – yes; chopped liver – no.

      If you start worrying about what everyone else is doing it will drive you absolutely crazy.

      I do try to keep it lighthearted and with a message at times. Thanks for your comments.

  11. Hey Bill,

    Liver for the social media soul? Firstly, I hate liver. Let’s move on.

    I just left a huge comment on Marcus’ blog about how and why ranking’s aren’t important. Really, are they? Coming from a person, who made it to Danny Brown’s list! 😉 Like, we’d miss that!

    Social media is fickle, they are nice to you one day, they forget you the other. How do you make sure you aren’t chopped liver, be EVERYWHERE. And that’s the toughest part.

    I get intimidated every time I visit your blog. The comments just go on and on. And that too when you are invisible.

    I get intimidated when I am at any other blog. You are always there before we can make our way through. And that too when you are invisible.

    So Bill, you are anything but invisible, you are anything but chopped liver. And we all love you just the way you are… invisible or not? 🙂

    • If you allow it, social can make you feel like ‘chopped liver’ at times. Even though I feel I’m known out here now, I really fly under the radar. I don’t tweet a lot, I don’t self promote, I just blog hop mainly. That is really the only thing that drives my traffic. For me to get recognized, I don’t make it too easy so I really shouldn’t have anything to way anyway.

      I feel loved in here. Other than getting unfollowed by someone I know, I can’t recall a single pro-active action or event against me.

      I am having fun; I am in a very good place; and I get to know great people like you. Thanks so much for stopping by today; when do I need to start pimping you? Do I get part of the $400?

      • Soon! And you better do it nice and pretty! 🙂 This girl would love money and there are some real nasty guys out to beat the crap out of it… what am I , chopped liver?


    I LOVE Liver!! LOL, I know, I am SUCH a minority! I do not seem to be able to answer any of the FABULOUS comments at my house, so I thought I would come over here, grap a cup-a-joe, snoop around and get my daily dose of Bill!

    I’ve only been at this for almost a year (!!) but Dino Dogan told me when I first began, I better get thicker skin. I gasped (of course), then sat back and really thought about it… He was right.

    So are you. Social = High school? Absolutely, except I would go a step further and say Life= High school. Really.

    It takes constant self-monitoring to stay on the right path and not to fall into the “groups” that quickly evolve into cliques.

    Thanks, always thanks and big smiles with jumping up and down hugs, for being my friend.

    p.s. I don’t think I’d like CHOPPED liver, just liver!

    • You are the wilderness chick; you probably eat beating Moose heart too. There is just something about the texture and taste of liver that I can’t get past and there is really not much I can’t eat.

      Cliques aren’t bad per se. It’s just some get so self-absorbed it truly does become just one big love fest echo chamber. I like to have many friends; it allows me to learn and explore so much more.

      Gini D is the one who told me about the thick skin, and she was not lying. Fortunately once I discovered what worked for me, it had nothing to do with driving traffic or looking pretty. If someone wants to mention me, then it’s a good day. If I never get mentioned, then I’m sure I will still survive.

      The jumping up and down hugs are the best; back at you ma’am.

      I hope you have a great weekend.

  13. Hi Bill,

    How I like your camouflaged posts!

    Some things stand out beside the chopped liver and other foodie stuff: “Know your mission, know your purpose”, “take control of your destiny, the better your chance of success and fulfillment.” and, of course, “Just be your own ‘awesome’ self”. Find your own voice and sing out loud! The better when you find somebody listening to you and throwing a dime in the hat in front of your feet.

    What is really important to me are some oldfashioned manners and values.

    BTW, be it chopped liver or tongue: the ingredients make it an unforgettable experience (being a foodie I cannot resist taking up the glove or as we say in German: auch dazu muss ich noch meinen Senf geben.).

    Thank you for continuously feeding the grey cell matter and here’s to the first weekend of this baby year!

    • And here’s my two cents; if you liquor me up enough, I might could eat some liver and tongue. I’ve eaten haggis after all, so how much worse could it be, huh?

      Old fashioned manner and values indeed; EVEN (and especially) if you are using this as a business platform.

      I might not go about putting it down in print the most intellectually stimulating way, but it might make you scratch your head.

      So good to see you and hope you have a fabulous weekend.

  14. Well my, my, my … you always leave me in a state of questioning and I don’t know if I like that?!? Hmm … I feel more insecure as I read what you write and then you visit my blog and are nice and it all seems OK to me. I feel very much invisible and yet it amuses me because, after all, I admit I talk out loud to myself and like my company … my audience of one. 😉

    You know, I just want to be true blue to others; to myself. I’m gushy, I’m over-the-top and I’m sure that annoys some, but it’s me and I truly value the relationships made – each one has special meaning and adds much to my life. I try to write from an honest place and there are times I feel very solitary on this journey; however, I’m better because of it. I am mystified by some lists and think, “don’t they read mine?!?” (Probably not). I offer the best of me, the best I have and at the end of the day that has to be good enough. You know, I wasn’t popular in school, but I made a few friendships that remain today – that’s what I’m getting out of this. I just offer it up and move on down the road.

    You know what I liken you to Mr. Dorman? Kinda like Tim Allen meets Mad Max of the blogging world – totally your own entity

    Thanks for the wheel spinning – like I needed that. 😉 Only from you good man, only from you!



    • Mad Max, I think I can run with that. One of the things I admire about you is your sincerity and your efforts to be part of the crowd even though it isn’t always reciprocated. Your existence is not so unlike mine in that we both don’t do much self promotion; maybe to our detriment, but just go out and try to bring some value to the people we touch.

      I talk to myself a lot so it is a good thing I have an outlet where at least some people listen to me; they probably think I’m crazy chattering away like I do in my office………:).

      Just remember, there is no rhyme or reason for the way some of this goes down in here. Just keeping being your ‘awesome’ self and good things will happen.

      Thanks so much for stopping by today; have a good weekend.

  15. Bill,

    I just love this place. I really don’t get around here nearly enough.

    A shmear of chopped liver is awesome with a little mustard and corned beef on rye. Swear. Literally and figuratively.

    I like how you’ve grown so much. There was a time when you would have really meant it and been hurt. Now you see it more for what it is. All I can tell you is that I can read energy with the best of ’em, and yours is good and glowing.

    Speaking of energy, you should SEE what shows up around some of (not all of) the listmakers and listees. Heaven forbid you run with that crowd! So easily fooled, some of them, too – even the very well meaning.

    You know who makes you popular? The truly wonderful commenters you have. You know who makes you wonderful? You do. That’s it. When you know why you’re here and it fulfills your soul, then you are on the right track.

    • Wow Julie, be careful or you will inflate my ego……..oops, too late…:).

      I see people chasing thinking that if they could just get recognized by ‘you know who’ then they will have arrived. Guess what? You still have to come to work the next day and the notice really didn’t change anything. Been there, done that, so I know………

      I’m not pooh poohing it because I like recognition; I just think because social is so fickle and fleeting you really need to keep it in perspective.

      It was so good to see you; thanks so much for stopping by. I hope all has been well with you.

    • It was законапраект Дорман, and here’s his number – BR549….:).

      I mean really, huh? What’s not to like about me…….doh……….

      It was just surprising because it was from a friend and I am quite certain it was intentional, not by accident. That’s a good thing though; at least I know where I stand and know my services or support is not needed.

      Nobody is going to rain on my parade; I am having fun w/ my model.

      Good to see you; thanks for stopping by.

  16. This post was (as usual) fabulous but, even more fabulous are all of the comments that followed. There is such a fine line that we straddle in social media….there are some days that, for whatever the reason, we are the bomb….all of the social media planets are aligned correctly and everyone is hitting your blog and they are engaging with you on Twitter and reposting on Facebook….awesome….you are on top of the world…you think that you have hit your stride…..you go to bed almost giddy. You wake up and….BOOM….it’s like you don’t even exit….you call out “Heelllloooo” into the vast abyss that is social media and you just get a faint echo in return. No Twitter mentions, no Facebook acknowledgments….nothing. And, the puzzling thing is that there seems to be no rhyme or reason to this behavior. In my opinion, we are most affected by this (as you alluded to in your post ) when we are still kind of neophytic (yes I made up this word….deal) in the social media world. When we have been here a while, I think we start to understand these ebb and flow patterns and to not pay them much never mind. (Andy Griffith circa 1965). You are the poster child for having figured this out with grace and charm. That is why you have such an awesome and supportive community. People can sense that you do not sweat the small stuff… you, oh wise one, are an excellent example of how one can create an impactful online presence without compromising integrity or dignity. You, Mr. Bill, are my hero 😉 (Insert Bette Midler song Wind Beneath My Wings)

    • I was hoping you would have inserted the actual song so I could have played while I stand up and do the happy dance……..:).

      The neophytic think if they can just get that one notice it will be sustainable and life will be good. The problem is, the perceived ignoring can be so deafening you wonder if you want to even be online; and yes, this can change in a day. And we all know the notices are nice, but oh so fleeting. That is why it was important for me to find a sustainable level and quit keeping score.

      Andy Griffith was great BTW; now that was good TV.

      So good to see you; thanks for stopping by Claudia.

  17. I read this before I bolted out the door and I’ve been thinking about it a lot today as I wait in traffic, sit with foils on my hair (trip to the salon…it’s a lovely mental image, isn’t it!?), and to distract me from things I need to think about and don’t want to. My initial takeaway was, “I’m glad he’s in a better place now and had the self awareness not hit send initially.”

    But then, it occurred to me that maybe we should all hit send without a filter. Maybe we should all hit send and say what we want to say.

    I would say…I’m sick and tired of bloggers creating lists of blogs they love and talking about blogs and blogging to other bloggers. (Sorry…without my filter on, I sound a bit harsh.) It’s a freakishly big world out there and 90 percent of people in it still don’t own a computer. A lot of people I know and love have no clue what a blog even is. So why do I get my panties in a bunch after four years of blogging when my followers don’t follow me to a new host; or I wonder why I’m not the next big thing? Because I’m human and…as MUCH as I hate it…driven by that wee little part of my brain known as ego.

    I don’t interact nearly as much as you and others, simply because I’m not committed to social media. Instead, I commit to a few individuals who I would actually pick up at the airport if they were flying through town (present company included.) So the idea of being frustrated that I don’t have the homecoming court flocking to my blog has never bothered me. Much like others who have commented so wisely already, I don’t blog to get numbers. The idea that any of those numbers would ever convert to clients is highly unlikely and an absolute reliance on the shotgun approach to messaging. I blog because I have something to say and I want potential clients to have a place they can go to see what it is I think and who I am. And for those clients and colleagues who wish they could keep me around, the blog offers a place they can go to maintain a connection.

    The truth is, nobody who only knows me through social media–even my friend Bill–really knows me, let alone loves me. It actually means the most to me that there are people who read my blog every time I post who have known me all my life and STILL want to hear what I have to say. I’d rather be tops in their book than anywhere else. And to them, I’ve always been so much more than chopped liver. When I can remember that, I can be my better self.

    And, @TheJackB, as a rancher’s daughter, I do believe I’ve consumed every bit of beef that can be consumed, including tongue. I don’t really remember thinking anything other than, “I bet my friends never have to eat this stuff.”

    • See, as a rancher’s daughter you were exposed to this stuff early so it became the norm. Trying to break tongue and liver out on a 7 yr old isn’t going to cut it……….:).

      Granted, social potentially has a very broad reach; but it’s only for the people who play in here so it does become like an echo chamber. You might be the next big thing in here and other than your family, nobody on the outside still knows who the heck you are, or even cares.

      What I am also discovering is appearances are not everything; some that you assume are ultra successful really aren’t. And these are the ones everybody thinks they need to emulate. That is why it was important to me to figure out what I wanted to be in here and just take care of it myself. When I was out there chasing, that is all I was doing; it was taking me nowhere.

      The writing and connecting I like; that can sustain me. Everything else is either icing or noise.

      Sounds like you have found your sustainability as well. Thanks for stopping by and leaving your insightful comment; it rings true.

      I hope you have a great weekend, and it was a good mental image BTW……..:)

  18. Wow, Bill!

    You’ve created quite a post here for commenting! I love all the feedback you’re getting on this one!

    Just like in high school, I’m out here doing my own thing and trying not to worry too much about what the “in crowd” is up to. I’m more concerned about honing in on what my audience wants over at my place.First, it’s taken me a year to figure out who that audience IS! Lol! Now I just want to do my best to give them something valuable there and include a touch of myself in with that.

    • Excellent strategy too; the more you just concentrate on what you can do and the less on what everyone else is doing the better off you will be.

      It is ironic to me how many people tell how their high school ‘wonder years’ sucked because the cliquishness of it, and see them chasing hard in here to be part of a clique. That’s just life however, I think most want to feel they belong somewhere AND someone is actually listening to them.

      Being a friend and giving value; sounds like a winning strategy to me.

      Good to see you Alicia, I hope all is well.

  19. Hey Bill, I bet you get some feedback HERE! Ha ha. That – as painful as the post may have been to write – was perfect. And a perfect reflection on how a lot of people feel. Oftentimes, it isn’t even the popularity thing as it is “the last to know” kind of thing. I’ll get an email subscription notice and click to comment, but 146 people have already commented on it. HOW THE HECK COULD ALL THOSE PEOPLE HAVE JUST COMMENTED? THE POST JUST WENT OUT? 🙂 You know how it is. (Yes, I know Feedburner lets you set your time.)

    You’re absolutely right, though. Thousands of people could be following today and they may be gone by tomorrow.

    This was a great and honest post! Comment with me. I’ll holler back at ya. 🙂

    • Hey Bryan, I hear ya on the e-mail subscriptions. Fortunately, most of my regulars are also in my reader so I see it immediately. Often I will comment on a post and be long gone and then see it pop-up in my e-mail the next day. It’s gets me thinking, ‘well, that wasn’t too timely’.

      I’m in outside commercial insurance sales. My income is sustainable as long as I keep my customers, but theoretically they could all ‘unfollow’ me in one year. Hopefully they won’t and that is why establishing a real relationship with them is important. I don’t see it being any different in here.

      For me, the good news was getting past all this clutter and figuring out what worked for me. At the end of the day I am the one who has to make it happen and it’s ‘ok’ to have some fun along the way.

      Thanks for taking the time to stop by and comment; much appreciated. I hope all is well with you.

  20. I don’t even think I would know if someone unfollowed me. I would probably discover it months later and been acting like nothing happened the whole time — and the person would be thinking “can’t he take a hint.”

    I like the analogy here — I say just do your thing, and let the lists fall where they may!

    • What you described was me; I accidentally discovered months later. It would be like me unfollowing you and I will just leave it at that.

      Yes, I am in a good place and just doing my own thing; everything else is just icing or noise as I commented above.

      Good to see you; hope all is well. I’ll be by your place later.

  21. I just have to say…this post and the comments made are some of the most refreshing, honest, inspiring ah-ha moments I’ve spent online. I’m so glad to be part of the Bill/BillyBoy/TedAllen/MadMax/MaxwellSmart/NotInvisible/NotChoppedLiver Community! Cheers! Kaarina

  22. I am having liver for lunch today!

    I remember getting really bothered/paranoid/depressed about this phenomenon when I first started tweeting. Because I did what a lot of people do and began by following all of the big names, that was pretty much all I’d see in my feed. So, here I was, Margie Clayman, some 35 followers to my name, and I’d jump into a conversation about something I felt I could talk about with some knowledge, like, say, dresses.

    I’d see people going back and forth, Oh, they were laughing and dancing and holding hands. Then I’d jump in and suddenly everyone would scram.

    In my current status as “grizzled veteran” I now understand that this really has nothing to do with me, per se. Or at least there’s nothing we can about things like this. Some people like to keep themselves very insulated in Tweet-land. They’ll only talk to certain people. Doesn’t make a lot of sense to tweet if you really only want to talk to 12 people, but hey.

    But also, I have come to understand the “noise” factor. Sometimes there isn’t really a gut-wrenching reason to respond to, “OH yeah! Me too!” I mean, sometimes I’ll respond to tweets like that if it’s a person who doesn’t have a lot of experience on Twitter because I know they’re trying hard to learn how to engage with people, but most of the time, you just smile (in real life) and let the tweet roll on by.

    Too bad we have to learn these things the hard way, huh?

    You’ll never be chopped liver to me, Bill. Although, since I really like chopped liver, maybe I should say you’ll always BE chopped liver to me. You choose.

    • I like the options, I might or might not be chopped liver, huh?

      I consider myself in here because of twitter but I actually don’t use twitter that much; most of my engagement is on the blogs. Early on my twitter network were celebs and sports figures………boring………one way communication only.

      I just happen to stumble upon Gini and found out what engagement was all about. The good news was, I could see what you needed to do; the bad news was, I thought that was the norm and you always had to run at Mach V with your hair on fire. Fortunately I found my place before I flamed out.

      From the outside looking in it can appear very cliquesh; fortunately I didn’t know any better early on and just started jumping in because I didn’t know who was who in here.

      Margie, I think the best think we can do is just be ourselves. I have sensed your frustration with some of these things, but you are very talented and creative and would leave a huge void if you ever decided to leave. I’m glad this created the opportunity for me to get to know you.

      Thanks for coming by; I hope you enjoyed your liver………:)

  23. Hey Bill, you’re one of the most genuine people I’ve connected with on the social web. Looking at our mutual friends/ connections, it appears genuine likes to be connect with genuine.

    When you’re focused on giving and making a difference, there’s little time to think about – ‘what’s in it for me’ – ‘what am I gaining,’ or keeping score.

    I have more to give in my pinky finger (as do most in this community) to ever worry about other peoples losses : )

    I will just keep keep connecting & supporting good people and those who choose to be part of that, its much appreciated; and those who don’t – I wish them the best things in life (now get lost!)…

    Just kidding Bill. Thanks for occupying a piece of my mind space today, it was very rewarding for me!

    • One of the best looking too, huh? See how cool I really am…….doh…..

      Most of my focus is on giving and I have been repaid more than 10 times over. Yes, I might not have made a list or two but I am very happy and very comfortable with my place in social right now.

      Connecting with good people, a good mission indeed my friend and you are one of the genuine good people and so glad you found your way back in.

      Good to see you and thanks for your thoughts on this.

  24. Bill,

    You ain’t chopped liver, son. C’mon.

    Jumping into a comment stream and being ignored is a strange feeling though, isn’t it? When I first started commenting I experienced that a lot. Oh well.

    I’m going to put out a list of 201 bloggers you must follow, didn’t you hear? 🙂 I think you and I are actually a big proponent of lists for a few good reasons (read: the kind Mr. Danny Brown). 🙂

    I don’t expect total reciprocity on blogs or on Twitter. I still engage with more than a few people who never chose to follow me back. In the big scheme of things that is not really important to me. But … If they never reply when I send them a nice @ message in twitter or comment on their blog and they never bother to reply … now that is a different story. Engage in some way, ya know? But you don’t have to follow me back.

    There are people like you, who I met in the very beginning of this experience who have been extremely kind and helpful … and I’d say engaging with you is a pretty darned good experience, plus you add some Juice to my comments section. 🙂 The wife appreciates that too.

    In all honestly, I’m treating social like a business, but I want to stay positive and most of all engage with a variety of people. You never know who might inspire you in this world or who might help you in a big way.

    As far as cliques go. I have no patience for clique-like behavior. I hate it and would rather associate with a diverse range of people, like I do in real life. I never fit in with any particular crowd anyhow. It’s possible to maintain this and treat blogging like a business, I’m convinced of that.

    Thanks, Sir.

    • And it is A-OK to treat this as a business; however, you will still have to engage and be social at some point. It’s the ones who seem to think this is a nuisance are the ones I wonder if they really ‘get it’ or not.

      Some think they have have done that part and now just can push their ‘stuff’ on us and forget the social part. It never ends……….you know that, it’s still people who you are going to do business with.

      I know I’m not chopped liver; I’ve had my share of kudos, acknowledgments, etc. I know enough of the ‘right’ people I can get their attention if I need them. I am lovin’ life in here, I have no complaints whatsoever.

      Like you, I like to have a very diverse network of friends; sometimes to the angst of my wife, but diverse is interesting. Most don’t get invited for dinner, but that’s ok too.

      Good to see you my friend; thanks for your two cents…….

      • Hey Bill,

        My main goals are to see if I an actually help inspire a few people out there, and I want to keep that tail wagging. Oh, and I never want to take myself too seriously, if I do that you can give me a punch. 😉

        I’m really enjoying seeing the Broncos pound the Steelers. Growing up in Baltimore, those guys were always seen as the enemy. Sorry Pittsburgh fans 🙂

  25. You know, when I was a wee lad, my mom fed us the most delicious steaks ever.. We were simple middle class people living in a shoebox apartment in New York City. I wondered how we always had such good eats. Turns out those steaks were liver all along (chopped and whole)!

    What I learned is that the right delivery and presentation can make everything special. While the thought of liver still gets me, I think mom’s liver is the best. For we the social folks, being the liver isn’t so bad. As you said, if you’re getting stuff done, the fame, recognition, and affirmation are all just pluses.

    Also, remember that the a-listers are usually folks that were simply there first.. But I often find Joe Smoe and Jane Doe tend to offer more value and authenticity. As you mentioned, some dance really well but, when the show is over, they’re just like the rest of us. ;o)

    • That’s a funny story about the steak/liver; maybe I just didn’t get started on it soon enough. I do know when my mom cooked liver and onions it smelled delicious.

      There is plenty of noise in social and everyone is just trying to get high enough up the ladder they can just hold on. Even those who appear to be there struggle every day to maintain it. Fortunately at this point, I’m not trying to climb any ladder; I’m just enjoying the view from where I am.

      It is the ‘rest of us’ who are the most interesting and most engaging; that is what I enjoy and I hope I don’t lose that. I don’t have any grandiose plans but if opportunities present themselves I will be in a position to capitalize on it.

      Reality? All are just like the rest of us and that is something we should never forget.

      Thanks for stopping by tribe-mate Yomar, it was much appreciated. Hope you are doing well.

  26. Chopped liver? That’s not something I’d taste, but I’m familiar with the saying. I’d probably add pizza to your story, but it probably wouldn’t have the same effect 🙂

    I have never written a list of awesome bloggers, that’s because I am sure I’d miss some even if I spent months writing it, and I’d add 500 of them. I love being on lists, and I have spent hours reading lists that I’m not part of. That’s ok too, but it’s much more fun to be included. On the other hand, I don’t spend enough time on my blog or being social, so I have to blame myself. But 2012 will be different, and I’ve started out planning my success (but I haven’t been social, not yet).

    I am not good at keeping the conversations, but I’m usually there when it starts and maybe when it ends, but during the conversation people need to give me hints (tag me or something) to keep me involved. It’s about focus, and not doing many things at the same time. And that’s what I’m doing 🙂

    Hope you’re having an awesome weekend Bill.

    • Anchovies would be the closest thing for pizza and I’m where I actually like them now.

      I try to avoid doing lists because you will leave out worthy people so I will try to do my promotion of my community in other ways.

      I used to be much better at conversations, but now I’m like you at times; beginning and end and miss all the stuff in between. However, that is just part of keeping it sustainable for me. I do what I can…..

      I’m not keeping track even though I do see it. Yes, I like being on lists too but they are not my justification for being in here.

      Good to see you and yes, I was in the Tabasco this weekend…….:).

      Hope you had a good weekend.

  27. Holy crap. I’m late to this party! Love your commenters, though Bill. You attract some seriously cool people. 🙂

    I sometimes get these messages on Twitter “Deliberateblog unfollowed me!!!” (I’m deliberateblog). They are so outraged. Then I go and check their tweets, to make sure I didn’t make a mistake, but it’s just garbage. Huh. If someone unfollows me or unfriends me on FB on un-likes me or whatever, I try not to take it personally. I can’t force people to find my stuff valuable or entertaining. And really, why would I want people on my list who don’t really benefit in any way? It doesn’t mean my stuff isn’t good. I’m serving chocolate ice cream and they just happen to like strawberry better. 🙂

    BTW – I hate liver. I have almost no problem with any food, but I was forced to eat liver as a kid, and I’ve created such a negative association with it, I can’t even try it again. You, my dear Billy Boy, are not liver, chopped or otherwise. You are more like a bag of Funyons. Ha.


    • There are some pretty cool people here and that’s what is so cool. I could not be happier with who shows up here.

      Most unfollows wouldn’t even make my radar; this just happened to be someone I knew and I even e-mailed them afterwards with no response back. I don’t think that was a mistake; looks pretty intentional to me. However, this is there new business model and I only wish them the best.

      I have NO law of attraction for liver; I just never acquired a taste and the parents tried to force us a couple of times, but with less than desirable results to they abandoned it.

      Funyons, huh? I kind of like them……….:)

      So good to see you; I hope your weekend went well.

  28. I feel like it is about finding your target audience, and building followers that see the real in you. I enjoy your writing because a lot of your personality comes out. We must find out who we are and what we like, then we have to work.
    Working is the part most of us do not want to do. We sit at home and wish a come up would simply, come up.
    I try to focus on putting in work, day in and day out because we must put our all into what we love, so at the end of the day we can say we gave our best.

    God bless,
    William Veasley

    • I hear ya; if we could just get around the ‘working’ part that would be kind of cool, huh?

      When I first started gaining some traction and had people actually showing up I did wonder why some of my ‘friends’ never took the time to stop by, but I would see them everywhere else. It did cause some angst and wondered if maybe I was doing something wrong. The problem with that line of thinking is, I had no control over it. Once I got over worrying about what others were doing, I felt much better with my efforts. All I can control is myself, and I have enough trouble with that at times……….:).

      I’m glad you enjoy the writing and take the time to leave your thoughts as well; much appreciated.

      I hope all is well with you.

  29. Hey Bill,

    Awesome post . This is so true. I am sure that someone who is starting new and frustrated by the fact that “A listers” don’t care can read this post.
    Though I found a lot of bloggers very very friendly in the sense that if they cannot comment on my site, at lease they try to write great replies to my comment on their post.
    Recently I cut down on my twit following list and in the end I realized that there are only 56 people on blogosphere that I ever interacted with. I was frankly surprised because I thought I commented at so many blogs.
    Interaction is like communication and it has to be two way.
    However, using your ways we can really avoid the disappointment when you see that the person whose blog you really like never care that much about you.
    And for the rest, I am happy with list of 56 🙂

    • It can come down to numbers and time, so some choices have to be made. Sometimes my day job takes all my time and it’s all I can do to keep up with my own blog. I don’t want people to feel like it’s all about me and think I’m selfish but there are days I just can’t do it all.

      I’ve been that ‘new’ person wondering about some of the going on’s in here. The other thing people don’t take into consideration at times is what is going on in someone’s life at a particular time. You might think you are being ignored, but this person has real-life issues to deal with and comments are not high on their list or priorities.

      Ashvini, the best we can do is take care of our ‘stuff’ and let everything work it’s way out, however it might be.

      Thanks so much for your thoughts; always a pleasure to see you.

  30. Bill that was deep. At first I was cracking up, but then I got what direction you were going in. Sometimes social can be like high school, but only if it’s viewed that way. The funny thing about life is not everyone is going to like you and quite honestly, that’s their problem. You have to concentrate on “you” and take care of your own business.

    Trying to be something you’re not will get you in trouble and when it’s all said and done your focus will be out of wack. A friend told me once, that if you spent more time focusing on improving yourself, do you know how much happier you will be? Life is too short for BS.

    Have fun, help others and do what makes you happy. To me that’s the key to life. Great post Bill!

    • Have fun, help others and do what makes you happy…..excellent advice indeed. Once I figured out it was me who controlled my destiny and quit worrying about what others were doing (especially in here), it kept me on a much more even keel.

      One thing I can do is be myself and yes, I know not everyone will like me. Social is no different than in real life, we just have a much broader reach in here and we might see the people in here more often than our in real life friends at times.

      Thanks for the compliment and taking the time to stop by; it is always a pleasure to see you. I hope you have been well.

  31. You’ve been going deep, Bill. You’re bringing it to the table with sensitivity and charm too. I really like what I’ve been reading over here. I almost feel like I can shut up and sit back because Bill’s doing a better job than I ever could.

    Rock on, my friend.

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