I’m pretty sure I just got fired

For my last post of 2011 I was contemplating a year-end wrap up, reflecting on my journey since starting with social and thanking all the people, past and present who have taken the time to grace this site.

Also, since social slows down over the holidays, it provided an opportunity to take care of some housekeeping items.

I do not actively track who follows me back on Twitter. There is probably a download you can use to see when someone leaves, but it’s not a measurement that really interests me. I am not looking to do any ‘exit’ interviews.

By chance, I went to a ‘friends’ Twitter profile and noticed I could not direct message them anymore, meaning they were no longer following me. That was surprising because they used to be pretty regular here. They have been absent lately, but I just thought my site and/or content was no longer compelling enough for them.

Yes, you have been fired

My day job is outside commercial insurance sales. I know it’s probably hard to believe, but yes, I have been fired before. And since I plan on hanging around at least another 15 or so years, I’m sure it will happen again.

‘They‘ say not to take it personally because it’s only business. That is not how I roll however; I do take it personally and always wonder what I could have done differently to prevent it.

Typically, you can look back and find parts of the ‘process’ you could have done better; deeper relationship with the owner instead of just the CFO, quantify your work and results better, etc; but once it’s done, it is best not to beat yourself up too much over it. At least in my world, it’s the nature of the beast.

Sometimes you still don’t see it coming

In the case of my ‘unfollower’, I did not see it coming. I considered us pretty good friends so was taken aback when it was discovered.

It is one thing to just ‘go away’ and no longer associate with someone, but to pro-actively quit following sends a pretty clear message, don’t you think? Ouch…

I do know the incident that triggered this reaction, but was just a bystander. Apparently it appeared I chose sides, which was certainly not my intent.

I certainly don’t want to see my friends leave; especially if it’s because of something boneheaded I did. I’m the go along, get along guy; I have no malice intent.

I’m disappointed it happened, but I don’t know what I would have done differently.

We all make our own choices

Yes, you are free to come and go and choose whoever you want to associate with in here. I have been fired before and know it will happen again. It still doesn’t make it any easier.

How many times have you ‘unfollowed’ someone because of some real or perceived slight? Did you feel vindicated? Did it really even matter?

What I am thankful for

I really do just try to be the best I can be. I’m nowhere near perfect, but hopefully, what you see is what you get and don’t think there is some other agenda going on.

I appreciate each and every one of you who takes the time to stop by and chat. That alone has been the most rewarding part of social and blogging to me.

We are never too old to live and learn, and suppose I will never reach the point where I can say ‘I have seen it all’; so it is always best to keep an open mind, do what you can do, and let the chips fall where they may.

As we move forward

Some prefer to view progress as a continual process and not use the measurement of a calendar year as a starting anew point. However, just because a calendar year lends itself to this purpose, and if you are looking to make change you have to start somewhere, so let’s just go out and have an awesome 2012, ok?

Since I’ve knowingly been fired once now (I’m sure there are others), it will no longer be post worthy so if you plan on ditching me, you are relatively safe at this point. I’m not whining as I know this happens in here, it just surprised me, that.is.all.

Thank you for your support; I sincerely mean it.

So long my friend, you will be missed.


91 thoughts on “I’m pretty sure I just got fired

    • Two peas in a pod, huh? We will have to endure all this tomfoolery together………..

      We can’t be all things to all people so it’s best to understand this is just part of the ‘social’ process.

      Who doesn’t like Billy though; what an absurd thought…….:)

  1. Thanks for the reminder to unfollow you. Ha ! No way brother. I am here, hopefully, for the long haul. Whatever the reason was, it will be ok. You have many more followers. No worries. Same thing has happened to me, but I am not skilled enough nor apparently CARE enough to write about it. (Did I just say that?) Anyway, keep on doing your thing. Some very intelligent man mentioned the word “Gratitude” in Kaarinas Great “G” post today. Yep. Gratitude. Let it go. Acceptance. Hum, this is starting to sound like advice I have received numerous times. Ha. Luv ya brother.

    Take CARE.


    • Actually, I was digging deep for a post so this was as good as any. I had noticed they hadn’t been around in awhile but I still saw them elsewhere; but I surely didn’t expect to get the ‘official’ boot.

      Oh well, I still like them and respect them and we’ll just leave it at that. It didn’t keep me awake at night but did make me scratch my head.

      If I can just keep being fat, dumb and happy, I’m sure it will carry me far. I’m using Forrest Gump’s model…..

      Good to see you bud, I will call you in a few.

    • Now that’s what I like to hear…………:). I’ve been kicking around using you in a post; it’s tongue in cheek but it’s about the Christmas/holiday gathering we have at my sister’s house the week before Christmas every year. There is quite the eclectic group that gathers but seems to work very, very well. I jokingly told my sister the only thing we were missing is a Muslim person of color. I hope you can make it next year when you get my invitation……………:).

      Good to see you and thanks for stopping by.

  2. I’m with Kaarina, you can’t shake me, Bill. Tweet, “@carpathia16 is an ugly, fat, stupid cow” and I’ll still stick around.

    I don’t follow only my friends and people I agree with. I follow tweeps with many political points of view and various interests. I even follow both Apple and Android fan boys. I relish opposing points of view, just so long as you keep it interesting.

    You, Bill, will never be dull.

    • Thanks for the kind words, and of course you would never hear me ‘utter’ ugly, fat, stupid cow unless it was appropriate to call one of my in real life buddies that……….:). That’s just it, I am not controversial; why would somebody drop me; Mr Wonderful?

      I know you can’t be all things to everybody and those things happen. It just struck me as odd because we had been friends.

      You know me, if I see it, I’m liable to post about it……:)

      Good to see you today; this is my first ever Tues post I believe. I’m going to try and cover all days of the week this year.

      • Wow, Bill. A Tuesday post. I just figured you were like the mailman. If you can’t deliver on Monday, you just deliver on Tuesday. But that would be great if you covered every day of every week. More Bill Dorman posts = a better world.

        I got unfollowed by a fellow blogger I really admired when I first started blogging. She had been very supportive of me and I even bought one of her products. One day I tried to DM her on Twitter and it said she didn’t follow me any more. I wrote her and asked why (I was still new to this social media stuff and wanted to know if I did something wrong).

        She denied that she unfollowed me and promptly followed me again. About a week later she unfollowed me again. I gave up after that.

        I learned not to take it personally. If I’m not tweeting stuff you’re interested in, feel free to unfollow me. Just don’t lie and tell me you didn’t unfollow me when clearly you did.

        Twitter isn’t Facebook. I don’t tweet personal stuff, I just try to tweet information I think will be interesting to my tweeps. If it’s not, feel free to move on. No sweat. But maybe that’s why my Twitter following isn’t very high?

        There’s enough stuff to worry about without sweating the number of followers I have.

        Besides, Bill, you get so many comments on this blog, I’m surprised you have time to figure out who’s following you on Twitter at all!

        Anyone who doesn’t follow you is, well, missing out on some awesome tweets!

    • It was a fluke I noticed they were no longer following me. It just surprised me because I did consider them a friend.

      After digging a little deeper I do see it was a purge instead of just dropping me. I saw who was left standing however and it just let me know we weren’t quite the friends I thought we were.

      That’s fine however; whatever model they are pursuing I hope they find success.

      For me, I’m just going to hang with great people like you; I’m certain we both will be able to figure it out, counselor.

      I got your suggestion on the phone to see if we can pinpoint what my battery eater is; I will try it Friday night. Thanks for the suggestion and help.

      • Happy to help.

        I have to purge every so often because I’m bumping up against my 2000 Twitter follower limit, but there are plenty of other people to unfollow. Certainly not Bill Dorman!

        Whether or not we figure this out, we’ll sure have fun trying!

    • 2000 twitter follower limit? Is this a self-imposed limit for you?

      I have nothing against someone wanting to purge, but if it’s not a total purge and you see all your buddies still in there except you, then that’s probably a sign, right? Sometimes I can be slow, but when that light finally flips on I can see pretty clear.

      Not everyone can be ‘in’, right? All I can do is take care of my stuff, and that’s just what I’m going to do.

      It’s still good to be me………..just ask me…………:)

      • Twitter doesn’t let you follow more than 2000 people unless you have somewhere close to that number of followers. I’m getting there, but I’m not there yet. I follow a lot of new organizations that don’t follow me so I need to make sure the other people I follow are follow-worthy. You definitely make the cut, Bill.

        Your mom and I are firmly on Team Bill!

  3. Just remember, Twitter sometimes unfollows people randomly. It’s happened to me and a few of my friends. They think I unfollowed them, or vice versa, and it was a glitch. Nothing either of us did.

    • Hey Ken, I remember you talking about it. I would like to think that is what happened because I can’t imagine I would be abrasive enough to make someone leave; maybe ignore me but not take the step to actually cut me off. I still have some naivety in social, but have definitely developed a ‘tougher’ skin like Gini advised me of early on.

      I just found it interesting; just enough to post about it, but not call anyone out specifically over it.

      I hope you had a great Christmas and will certainly see you around in 2012.

  4. Hey Bill,

    Can we force someone to avoid following us ;)? I once unfriended a person because he said something really strange on facebook. He was really hurt and got angry on me. In the end I had to make him friend once again but we learned to keep the distance.
    But I am sure I will not unfriend people unless they are really rude.
    Disagreement is however acceptable and encouraged πŸ™‚

    • I will say there have been a few people I tried to engage with and they would respond periodically to my comments on their blog; but in reality they didn’t need me so I just left. I never was about the numbers, but when your friends cut you off I have to wonder what the heck happened?

      I think worrying about who is or is not following me is not worth much of anything; the only reason I saw this was kind of a fluke.

      It’s all good and I would never speak ill will of this person; I still like and respect them and know they are free to make their own choices.

      Good to see you my friend; are you ready for 2012?

      • Oh yeah, totally ready :).
        I think we cannot really make choices for others. If they like us they will be our friends. I comment on a lot of blogs. Some are extremely kind and comment every time I comment on theirs. Some have never done it *shrug*, I can’t really do anything about it.:)

        Wish you a great and happy new year

    • I’m always curious as to why people blog and allow comments but don’t respond. And some just push content out day after day and say they are too busy to respond. This is just my opinion and everybody has their own style, but that sounds too one-sided of a relationship to me.

      But that’s why we have choices, right? If we don’t like it we can just move on.

      I’m actually ‘working’ today, but it sure is slow…………catch up time, huh?

      • I comment on their blog because I like what they write. I can understand that they don’t comment back after 1-2 comments because they are too occupied but if after 15 comments they don’t, I am sure they don’t care for interaction that much and just want to hog the attention.
        I have given up on a few who have NEVER commented back.
        I cannot pamper someone’s ego that much and besides that communication is a two way thing. It is not a relationship when one only talks and another only listens πŸ™‚

  5. What – life without Mr. Sunshine? No way, I am here to stay at King Bill’s court.

    Like Ken has said sometimes it is nobody’s mistake but Twitter having a hiccup. So you might want to give that person the benefit of the doubt, or?

    On a more serious note: it is easy to dodge any issue and by clicking a button you get rid of a conflict instead of confronting it, the other side of social media?

    Here’s to challenge and worthy discussions in 2012!

    • That’s right, who would want to fire Mr Sunshine? You can’t fire me, I quit…………:).

      It really is not a big deal, it was just a head scratcher but I will just leave it at that and know people make choices all the time; because they can, right?

      Yes, we will have some worthy discussions. And here is to some mulled wine as well.

      Actually, I did have someone else drop me I knew about and called them out on it. They were going to a less is better approach to only the people they engaged the most with. They couldn’t stand it however, they came back……..:)

      So good to see you Barbara, it is always a pleasure.

  6. Hi Bill!

    I’ve been fired once and it was so weird, I think I was 19. Gosh, I’d hate to think of how many have unfollowed me or otherwise, but thankfully, I don’t notice or I choose to be in denial … ?? I don’t know.

    This year has been one heck of a ride and those I’ve connected to through social media have been such an added, meaningful joy to my life. There are few, you definitely being on the top of this list, who have honestly kept me in the game. I’ve been discouraged at times and wandered aimlessly, but kind comments and mentions and humor have lifted me up and for that I’m so, so thankful.

    I’m with you about an awesome 2012 – I’m ready eddy for it!! Following you, reading your posts and sharing laughs with you Bill is the highlight of many of my days. I look forward to more interaction in the coming year!

    Thank you for being wonderful you and for being a ray of light in my life too!



    • So, have I elevated off the alternate 5 or 6 seat and now a firm # 4? Thanks so much for your kind words. I enjoy engaging with you and certainly like having you around. You are ‘good people’ and that’s all I need to know.

      I am truly excited about 2012, it will be fun, exciting, and adventurous. Let’s do our part to make it happen.

      So good to see you today and thanks for taking the time to stop by you Sunshine Award winner………:)

  7. Hey Bill,

    I understand precisely where you’re coming from. I have taken being un-followed personal at times; but we shouldn’t.

    One way I measure favorable results on the social web for myself is how much do I give and benefit others – Answer: I give a lot more than I receive. If somebody needs some help or support, all they need to do is ask.

    My place in life is to serve others. Whether that’s helping others in need or helping others get what they want in life – I get much joy and satisfaction from making life better for others and seeing people realize their full potential.

    If you measure your activity in life in this manner, you have absolutely nothing to lose and everything to gain. It’s funny, but the world is full of those on the take and in their minds the more they take the better they think their life will be. A self-centered world is a pitiful and empty place to exist!

    All you can do is contribute the very best you have to offer to those you have the privilege of being connected to in this life and for those who don’t like it; well they can just pack sand (just kidding!) – – they can go do whatever it is that makes them happy.

    Just my two cents Bill and I’m looking forward to sharing some awesomeness with you in 2012 – but only if you don’t stop following me – LOL!

    • That’s what I am saying Mark, we are the two original ‘nice’ guys who would give someone the shirts off our backs…..who in their right mind would cut us loose………….:).

      True story, I unsubscribed to your site when I didn’t think you were coming back………..doh………

      Yes, that is the tack I am taking now; just keep my head down, do the best I can and let everything else take care of itself.

      Good to see you my friend; thanks for your thoughts.

  8. Hey Bill,

    I’ve been fired twice in my life. The first time was because of something they thought I did but later learned they were wrong. Too late for apologies because of the way it was handled. The second one was a company downsize and I wasn’t the only one released so that’s just part of life. Good thing is that I never have to worry about that again since I now have my own business.

    As far as the followers on Twitter, I take that with a grain of salt. I use a service that shows me who isn’t following me so if they’ve asked me to follow them yet a month goes by and they haven’t reciprocated, they’re off my list. I guess a lot of them aren’t aware that I can tell if they’re following me or not. Who knows but that’s okay.

    It sounds to me like this person got his/her feelings hurt by something that took place and they didn’t appreciate the side you took. Their loss, not yours. To me a real friend would have emailed you or contacted you to speak about the matter but if not then I say nothing lost. That’s just my opinion of course.

    I bet it’s pretty safe to say that you’re firing days are behind you. You are pretty solid with where you are and having gone through this horrible economy and you’re still there doing good then you are there to stay. That would be my bet.

    Hope you are enjoying your last week of the year Bill. I’m getting everything in place for 2012 and raring to go. So my friend, Happy New Year!


    • So, you have never wanted to fire yourself from your current job?…:)

      Actually (other than getting fired from an account), I have only been ‘let go’ from one job. Right out of the Army I was working for a friend of mine’s dad delivering auto parts. After they ran my driving record, the insurance company said I had too many tickets and they had to let me go………bummer……….and I still drive too fast……..yikes……….:).

      I am comfortable with who I am and what I stand for; I truly feel like I’m a ‘nice guy’ for what ever that is worth. If someone doesn’t like me or don’t feel I bring any value to the relationship, then they have every right not to associate with me. It’s just when a friend does it, it makes me wonder what the heck happened.

      I did try to reach out w/ an e-mail and they didn’t respond so I don’t know what else to do. Oh well, life goes on, right?

      So good to see you and look forward to growing together in 2012.

      Happy New Year to you too.

  9. It’s an interesting thing this follow me/follow you process. A set-up for disappointment if ever there was one. I do my best to take a deep breath and let it go when it happens.

    Now pass me a tissue….

  10. I have the power of the pen; I fixed your boo boo………:).

    Thanks for stopping by; I have since discovered I wasn’t singled out, it was a purge. I don’t know if that makes me feel better or worse because I took the time to see who did make the cut. It’s all good and certainly their prerogative; I certainly don’t want them to feel obligated to be here and if they weren’t getting any value then they should move on.

    Social is very, very quirky at times and I try to just roll with the punches.

    I really am a nice guy, just ask me………..:).

    I hope you are having a very Happy Holiday season.

  11. I can’t believe you’ve been fired (and unfollowed). That’s news to me. I have probably been unfollowed as well (never fired). But I don’t notice things like that. I only unfollow people who are not following me. That’s my only rule, and the only reason I have for not following someone.

    I’m sure 2012 will be a fantastic year for both of us, and I can’t wait to share another pizza story with you πŸ™‚

    • No kidding, huh? Who in their right mind would cut me loose. Come to find out, it was a purge but at the end of the day, I still didn’t make the cut. That’s ok though, if they think they will do better in social with less, then more power to them. I would never second guess someone with what strategy they choose. It just surprised me because I thought we were friends who also engaged with each other, but apparently it was only a superficial relationship to them. I’m sure we will both survive.

      Yes, 2012 will be a fantastic pizza year indeed; count on it.

      Just like any relationship, never take it for granted. Personally, I don’t know how you can do business in social without being social and giving very little in return but everybody has their own style.

      We are all just trying to find our way, right. Good to see you sir, I hope you survived Christmas. See you soon.

    • Tell me about it Riley, especially when you see your friends still over there. But you are correct, it is reality and we are all big boys now, right? I didn’t lose any sleep over it and if we are drawing lines in the sand on who is ‘in’ and who isn’t, then I very comfortable with where I stand because all I can take care of is myself.

      I’m excited about 2012 and I am very appreciative of my community.

      So good to see you my friend; I hope you had a great Christmas.

  12. Blogging is a funny thing to me. Every year new readers “discover” me and for a while they comment frequently and then they just disappear.

    Some of them show up regularly on blogs we both visit but never come to mine. I never know whether I offended them or if they were short on time and I was number 9 on their list of 5 blogs to visit daily.

    I try not to take it personally but I would be lying if I said that it doesn’t bother me occasionally.

    Got to run for a bit, it is the 8th night of Chanukah and the kids are chomping at the bit.

    • Trust me, I know exactly what you are talking about. It used to bother me a lot more and made me wonder why they would show up at some places but pretty much avoid mine; even though I supported them. Once I decided to just do my own thing and quit chasin’ and let things just work it, it put me in a much better frame of mind.

      I too think I’m # 9 on a list of 5 many a time. It’s all good, I’m happy for the people who do show up and good luck to the others, especially if they are going to be selling something. You want to ‘engage’ me? You better be pulling me in instead of pushing me away.

      Hope your holiday celebrations are going well; maybe there is hope for an iPad after all.

      Good to see you.

  13. It is hard to please everyone all the time. It is a waste of time, in my opinion, to even give it a “shot.”
    I remember that on my first Twitter account I used to get tons of followers and I would follow them, but soon end up being unfollowed. For that matter, I stopped following any and everybody.
    A little common sense has helped me not to focus on Twitter because of this I have been getting more work done. Sometimes, I think of Twitter as more drama added to my life, and that is why I try to keep things simple.

    Hope you do not have to go through that too much anymore.

    God bless,
    William Veasley

    • Hey William, thanks for dropping by. I will have to say my early days in twitter and blogging, there was a lot of drama going on. But it was self imposed drama because I was trying to keep up with everyone else and would take it personally if I felt slighted. Fortunately I ‘matured’ past that and just started taking care of my own business.

      The only reason I posted this was because it was a ‘friend’ who did it; or at least I thought it was a friend. It surprises me how anti-social some people try to be in social and think they can build a successful business model around it. Communication is a two-way street.

      However, everybody is different and that is what makes the world go around. I can just keep being me and will just see where it takes me.

      I appreciate your thoughts, hope you had a happy holiday season.

  14. I have a technical question on this one for you Bill.

    If someone ‘unfollows’ you are they firing you or are they in fact resigning?

    Thanks for all the fun this year Bill and wishing you and yours and all your readers a wonderful New Year.

    Tony πŸ™‚

    • Ok Mr Technical, I view it as they sent me packing but in essence maybe they did just resign. The biggest surprise was I thought we were friends and we actually engaged with each other; so the pro-active step of ‘formally’ letting me go was pretty bold and deliberate.

      If I brought that little value to them, then I’m glad they cut me loose. At least I know where I stand instead of always wondering ‘whatever happened to’, huh?

      It really was just a blip and 6 months ago it might have been a bigger deal to me. I just take these relationships seriously because I thought that was what social was all about. Everybody is different I guess…..

      It has been a true pleasure making your acquaintance sir, and I look forward to more good times in 2012.

      Happy New Year to ya…..

  15. Now that I have the time to comment…here goes…are you ready? πŸ˜‰

    I had a reader who commented every single day until an “issue” came up (quite possibly the same issue you mentioned here) I have not seen this person since. I took a fairly strong stand, and this person did not agree.

    I lost a reader and follower. I would not change my feelings because to me I am who I am. I believe what I believe, and I do my best not to hurt others on purpose.

    That being said, I teased our friend Howie, the Chief Alien about not following me on Twitter. He thought he already was. Sometimes it is a mistake, sometimes it isn’t but either way, I do my best not to lose sleep over it. πŸ™‚

    • And that is a lot more understandable especially if you chose a side; they can either respect you for it or chose to go elsewhere. There have been a few issues I have seen in here that I felt strongly about and have chosen a side; if we are talking about the same incident, this was not one of them and thought I had remained neutral.

      I called Danny Brown out for not following me back and he quickly rectified the situation; those don’t count. There could very well be some people who come by here that I don’t follow, but it’s not because I won’t; I just don’t actively seek out people to follow so you might have to hit me upside the head to let me know.

      All I will say is how would you feel if I just stopped showing up and then you went to check on me and found out I quit following you as well? Wouldn’t you be somewhat surprised; wouldn’t you think it odd? This was no different.

      I really did not lose sleep over it; I was just disappointed they felt I didn’t bring enough value to keep around. Certainly their prerogative and I only wish them the best of luck. Life goes on, right?

  16. Tweeters and bloggers can be fickle creatures. One moment you are the center of their universe, the next they pretend you never existed. I guess it stems from that need to get as many back links to your blog and as many twitter follows as possible. This can really make some people angry or hurt. Like Jack said above, they come and go.

    I rarely unfollow on Twitter and you would definitely NOT be on my list to slash. πŸ™‚


    • You said tweeters………..

      I’m not a bad guy; I like to think I can bring some value to a relationship, who would want to get rid of me, right?

      It is very, very fickle in here and there is a lot of the back link stuff, etc that I probably don’t do a great job with. I’m just in here to connect and engage and actually be ‘social’ in social. If someone wants to hang around, then I’m thrilled.

      I know about 5 people I have actively unfollowed, but it was because as much as I tried to reach out to them, they never gave back or gave back so little it wasn’t worth my effort. They were never ‘friends’ however.

      And I think it’s the norm for most; you rarely unfollow but everybody has their own model and I’m certainly not one to criticize. I know what works for me and I don’t plan on changing who I am.

      I like my model and like being able to associate with great people like you. If you slash me I will stalk you………just sayin’……….

      Have a great day ma’am.

  17. Think Allie nailed it.. our fickle nature. People follow me (or follow back) only to rescind a few weeks later, so I suspect that they 1) think my tweets idiotic, their entitled opinion or 2) they have no taste in quality tweets, my vainglorious belief. πŸ˜‰

    That and/or they’re gaming the system for ‘influence’ and/or filtering out ‘noise.’ I don’t tweet that much so don’t consider myself noise, but there have been some shifts in Twitter philosophies, namely that following anything more than 500 is counter-productive. Lots of people have done LOTS of unfollowing lately, so don’t take it personally. I try not to, I don’t get mad but I do get even: if I take a closer look at their stream and find it wanting, I have no problems finding the unfollow button. And FWIW, I’m not going anywhere.

    • Yay, because I like having you around. You really think social is fickle?………………:)

      This was actually someone I knew pretty well so it wasn’t random but I could tell they went into a purge mode for their new business model; bottom line, I still didn’t make the cut but that is their choice, not mine, right?

      I didn’t get mad or sad or glad or bad…….it just surprised me. Live and learn I suppose.

      Hopefully if you are taking the time to drop by you are finding some value and hopefully I am reciprocating when I can. That’s what makes it ‘social’ for me; that’s all I want for now.

      The new game of the century is coming soon; Geaux Tigers (sorry Al, the ladies rule).

  18. This all confuses me so much! My 17-year old daughter and I were talking this morning about how we both make rash decisions because at the moment there seem to be only two choices and we both agreed that after a few days, when emotions calm down, things aren’t as bad as we once thought.
    I’ve unfollowed people after an emotionally charged incident instead of doing the adult thing-talking it out and resolving it. And I really regret that, having lost what I considered to be good beginning friendships.
    IRL I go out of my way to smooth things over. Online relationships are so different. Words are so powerful and reach and influence people immediately and sometimes forever. I feel like I have to be more careful and be more proactive about what I see and say and share. That’s NOT a good way to feel!! Because people have feelings and thay often misunderstand my motives…again, another good reason for me to slow down and talk instead of do the immature unfollow!
    Thanks Bill and Happy New Year!

    • I try to treat others like I want to be treated and because of this I try to choose my words and actions accordingly. At the end of the day I don’t think the ‘firing’ was disrespecting me; I just got caught up in the wash of everybody else they didn’t think was important enough to bring value to their business model. And that’s ok, at least now I know where I stood and we can both just agree to move forward from here.

      Words are like bullets and once they leave the mouth (or make the printed page) the damage is done; you can’t retrieve them.

      Be comfortable in your skin and firm in your beliefs and let everything else take care of itself, right?

      So good to see you Betsy, thanks so much for stopping by.

  19. Yikes, sure hope it wasn’t me! Twitter has been wonky from time to time, and people have been accidentally unfollowed. I would never knowingly unfollow you…well, unless you were incredibly rude, maybe, but that’s not you, so it won’t happen! Happy New Year, my friend!

    • I would hunt you down if it was you…………..

      I don’t do a good job of reaching out to follow others; if someone is coming by and engaging, I probably won’t even know if we follow each other unless they say something. Therefore, I wish they would say something so I can follow.

      This was a case of someone I knew and it wasn’t random, which was their choice, it was just surprising. I just didn’t make their ‘A’ team, but it was their ball so they can choose whoever they want on their team, right?

      It’s all good, just another vagary nature of social. It took me awhile, but I’m learning.

      Me, rude? Not likely……….not Mr Wonderful…………:).

      Happy New Year to you to; thanks for stopping by Nancy.

  20. Hi Bill! I hope you had a wonderful Christmas! As many of the comments here have suggested 1.) you are stuck with me as well and 2.) so often it is a “Twitter thing” that causes people to unknowingly unfriend you…and the caveat to that is….because, after all….WHO WOULD UNFRIEND BILL DORMAN??!!!??
    You have made the last half of 2011 fun, funny and delightful. I look forward to many chuckles throughout 2012 as I continue to follow the antics of Bill Dorman…blogger extraordinaire πŸ˜‰
    Happy New Year, Bill!

    • I’m glad being stuck with you. I love my community and all I learn from them. It is very diverse and international and it makes me smarter every day I engage and learn from them.

      I think if you are going to use social as your business model, you still have to be social to some degree. Otherwise you will always be climbing uphill. If you think you will be so awesome and people will just flock without engaging then all I have to say is ‘good luck’.

      I’m looking forward to 2012 because it’s going to be awesome. I look forward to hearing about everyone’s adventures.

      Happy New Year to you too; see you next year Claudia.

  21. Sorry, I didn’t mean to unfollow you. Itchy trigger finger. I’m now following again, so don’t hold it against me. πŸ˜‰

    Actually I was looking at my Twitter account and you’re one of the very first people I followed. I guess you’re stuck with me for a while, so deal with it.

    I honestly don’t care about the follow thing. There are some people I engage with often who don’t follow me back, but that’s their choice. It only hurts my feelings a little bit and I only cry about it in private. πŸ˜‰

    Happy New Year to you Bill!

    • I cry myself to sleep all the time.

      I don’t check who is following me or not. But to put it in perspective, what if I just quit showing up here AND quit following you. Wouldn’t you think we were better friends than that? Well, that is exactly what happened; I just happened to catch the unfollow part by fluke. It was just strange to me, that’s all. It’s a good thing there is not too much strangeness going on in social, huh?

      If I ever drop out of social or decide to purge it would be hard for me to justify cutting out the people I know. I mean, what would there be to gain?

      Here’s to no more tears and no hurt feelings ’cause there’s no crying in social……….:).

      It really, really wasn’t that big of a deal; it was a head scratcher more than anything.

      Good to see you sir, I am out the door to play tennis with a friend and we might even have a beer or two afterwards; now that’s a friend, right?

      Take care and Happy New Year to you.

  22. Alright, true confession time. This past month I had my first two Unsubscribers to my blog. The first one emailed me and told me she hadn’t ever subscribed. The second one just put UNSUBSCRIBE in the subject area of an email to me.

    Now I’ve had a banner month for subscribers with about 100 new ones added lately. But those two unsubscribers still get to me. I don’t know who they are but part of me wants to ask them how they possibly could have done anything other than fall in love with my blog?

    Whew. Confession is good for the soul!

    • Put me on them; I will kick their unsubscribing butt. How could anyone not possibly fall in love with your site?

      I keep making my mom sign up with a new twitter account and subscribe to me so it looks like I have a lot; I hope twitter doesn’t catch on what she is doing. 100 new ones, huh? That’s pretty awesome all by itself.

      Everybody has felt slighted in some way or another here in social; it’s just us sensitive souls who seem to take it the most personal……:).

      My confession is, I sure have come along way (thicker skin) in what really doesn’t even make the radar in terms of who is doing what. All I can do is me and I just have to see where it takes me.

      Now say two ‘hail Mary’s’ and have a good week.

  23. Hey Bill!

    Believe it or not, I’ve never been fired from any job out in the working world. However, I’ve definitely had to fire some clients! Ha ha!

    I did have a situation a while ago where I decided to unfollow someone. About a year and a half ago I was very new to this whole blogging/social media thing. Someone befriended me on Twitter. They started the conversation first. In talking to them, they offered to give me some tips and advice on blogging and SEO strategies since they were seasoned and I was a newbie. I was thrilled for the help and asked what I could do to help them. They continually told me that they didn’t need anything more than my help to retweet their posts so that they could get their name out there a little more. I was happy to oblige especially for the help they were giving little ol’ me.

    I tried not to pester the person often or ask too many questions as I knew they were providing me with free info. One day they sent me a question on something I might be able to help them with. I didn’t happen to be online at that moment. When I was on again, I inquired as to what I could help with. This person was now quite annoyed with me that I didn’t respond to them right away after “all they’d done for me.”

    The relationship went sour after that. I was VERY careful who I talked to for a while and went out of my way not to ask anyone for any free advice after this incident. It didn’t take me too long to realize that the majority of people out there were NOT like this person. Most bloggers have been quite friendly and willing to help others.

    There’s always a sour apple in the bunch. I’m just happy that you’re not one of ’em:)

    • Uh oh, almost guilty as charged. Early on I jumped the gun on a couple of things because I thought I was being ‘ignored’, but I didn’t get annoyed. I just unfollowed/unsubcribed and told them why. They were very professional and responded about what was going on in their life and they were apologetic. I felt like a real heal, so I’m much better at giving someone the benefit of the doubt these days.

      I have seen a few sour apples and distanced myself from them quickly. I don’t need to deal with too much negative energy; that’s not good for the soul, is it?

      I hope you had a great Christmas with the baby and look forward to hangin’ with you in 2012. Thanks for stopping by.

  24. Well, it obviously wasn’t me. Every time I unfollow you, you just hack into my account and refollow yourself. I mean, come on buddy, play fair. πŸ™‚

    The only time I got a little bruised was in my first few months when I met a A-lister IRL and tried to follow up afterwards. He was really cool overall, but had 50 bazillion followers (real number), so the connection was fleeting. About 2 min later I had moved on and didn’t take it personally. I still follow him and retweet his stuff.

    I think some of this has to do with what role SM plays in each person’s life. If SM is filling a void that you have outside, I think it is easier to take things personally. If it is business or semi-business and the friendships are the gravy on top, then it is easier to move on to what’s next (like a real insurance salesperson would)! πŸ™‚

    • No kidding, like a bad penny I keep turning up at your place…..:).

      True story, my youngest son got on twitter about 3 months ago and I was one of the first he followed. I went to send him a msg about a month ago and guess what? He had dropped my like a hot potato; I guess he didn’t like my ‘stream’ because he quit following me…….now that’s pretty brutal, huh?

      You are correct about not only what role SM plays but what platform you use. Some might us twitter for strictly business and tend not to be social, but much more active on Facebook for the personal stuff.

      I am not going to try to over-analyze the why, I will just say I was surprised and leave it at that.

      I have enough on my plate to worry about who might or might not be following me. But if it was something I did or didn’t do to cause the unfollow, I would like to know what that was. Oh well………

      I got your msg and look forward to seeing you on the 11th. I will get you details and it is very easy to find; it will be fun.

  25. I’ve culled followers from my lists and I’ve been culled. I’ve been blocked once or twice, too.

    And while it might sting for a moment, I’ve learned not to dwell on it. Technological glitches, changes in circumstances or people just finding your content uninteresting. They’ll come and go – and you’ll still be doing what you do. πŸ™‚

    • I don’t think I have ever been blocked, but who knows. Now that would be pretty drastic……….

      Uninteresting would be my first thought as the number one reason; but everybody can make their own choices and I have absolutely no control over any of it other than just being me.

      I had to unlink my twitter and LinkedIn accounts with each other because my local friends on LinkedIn said I was killing them with too much twitter traffic. I told them I certainly understood……

      Social can be very fickle and it certainly is fluid; really not that much different than real life, we just have access to many, many more people.

      Good to see you Jason, thanks for taking the time to stop by.

  26. Is it ever a shock to be fired or to be unfollowed on the Twitter. I can usually see it coming. Like when I used to sneeze on the bacon at burger king…wait I never worked there…but I did that anyway.

    Seriously it is personal when you get fired even when it is your own fault or you see it coming. It is human nature.

    Love this post Bill. You always have an outsiders view on things and always something relative to my life. Happy New year my friend and really glad we got to know each other in 2011.

    • I will have to say Howie, this was a surprise to me but I should know by now, not to be surprised by anything in here. It was a disappointment, but at least I know where I stand now; at least that part of it is crystal clear.

      I’m not one to focus on the negatives so I will just go forward and sticking to my game plan and not someone else’s.

      It has been a real pleasure getting to know you as well and look forward to much more frivolity in 2012, even when we still have a underlying message to convey.

      Happy New Year to you as well; take care.

  27. I think this is my first visit to your blog, and you can thank Adrienne for that; or not. lol Anyway, I don’t consider people unfollowing me as being fired; heck, I drop people as well. At a certain point we all determine whether someone else’s words or views are what we want to deal with in our personal space. I’ll do that with perceived slights or stuff as well; after all, if I don’t know someone well enough and already feel uncomfortable, then why bother going further with it I say.

    In any case I wish you the best and a prosperous 2012; nice to meet you.

    • Welcome Mitch, thanks for stopping by; Adrienne is good people.

      Normally I wouldn’t give an ‘unfollow’ a second thought. However, this was more than a passing acquaintance and some of my mutual ‘friends’ are still there; but then again some are not. It was naive of me to think I was higher up on the friend chain than I was; it was just a surprise to me. A conscious decision had to be made whether I was ‘in’ or not and I guess we know the answer to that, huh?…….:)

      It’s all good however; that’s just crazy life in social. Like I said in the post, I have been fired before and I’m sure it will happen again.

      All we can do is just try to be the best we can be, right?

      So good to see you; I hope you have a very Happy New Year.

  28. Holy Shmokes! No-Way!

    You’re right, Bill, it hurts. Each. And. Every. Time.
    You wanna know something? (You probably know…) I don’t think it really “hurts” some folks, Bill.

    That is the difference. Yeah, yeah, business, shmizness. I AM my business. Not only now, as Alaska Chick, not as the manager of Pioneer Outfitters, but as Amber-Lee, Gloria Jean’s daughter. As my Grandfather’s Honey-girl.

    I try each and every single day to be a better…well, everything. I want to be better tomorrow than I was today. Spiritually, physically, mentally and emotionally. I have grown SO MUCH, Bill in this last year, these last 3 years, really, that I can’t stop now!

    I love this post! I really love coming here, though I know I don’t make it very often. (I read “you” in my email and LOL as I run around the Lodge reading your words to anyone I run into!!)

    Here is to a fantastic 2012!

    • Like you, at least we know our mama loved us, right? The heck with everyone else……

      I roll like you; if I’m taking the time to get to know you and engage with you, then you mean something to me. I couldn’t just casually cut you off like everything up to that point really didn’t mean anything.

      I’m no genius, but I have been around. I feel I have a pretty good handle on business models that work and those doomed for frustration. Some of the things people try to do in here, really have me scratching my head at times.

      The reality? This platform is the first time a lot of these people have been social and been accepted. They don’t have great social skills and it carries over to their engagement with others.

      My motto is to treat others like you want to be treated. If I have to step on people or hurt feelings to get to the top, that is certainly not any business model I would like to follow. You can be ambitious and driven, and you don’t have to be everybody’s best buddy, and still succeed without being ‘unpersonable’.

      That is what makes the world go around however; it takes all types, right?

      Happy New Year to you, I’m glad to hear you can read these even when you can’t stop by……:)

      • I couldn’t have said it better, myself. But I could be pithy and suggest that you can’t do well in business or social in a year. Not offline. Nor online. Because them is all about the people. Real people, to be sure, are the one thing you can’t make into imaginary subjects of your imaginary, magical kingdom.

  29. Just possibly suggesting another scenario-twitter sometimes randmoly unfollows people by mistake. I know it had me unfollow people who I did not unfollow or want to unfollow and I know it has happened to others. Try unfollowing and then refollowing the person again to “bring it to their attention”

    • I do know the ‘unintentional’ ones happen as I will get a notice someone is following and we had already been following each other for some time. However, this was deliberate but it wasn’t in a mean-spirited kind of way; it just meant I wasn’t in their circle of friends and I made the mistake of thinking I was.

      Life goes on and I don’t lose sleep over stuff like this, but I’m not blind, I do see it.

      If that’s the worst thing that happens to me, then I should be in pretty good shape, huh?

      Thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment; it was very much appreciated. Good luck on your journey.

  30. Twitter’s database is not the most reliable so you can chalk up some unfollows to the quirks of the machine. On the other hand, I appreciate your sensitivity to this social dynamic. Actually, I have always appreciated your sensitive you. Under all that Southern charm and good will of Bill Dorman is a good man.

    And, yes, the last best defense of all that is decent in this world.

    I do know the disappointment, personally and professionally, and I may have been cause of some unintended disappointment of the unfollow kind.

    I clean up my Twitter stream every so often. At least, once per year. That means I delete names I do not recognize OR names that I associate with lackluster, uninspired, or unimaginatively dishonest content. Sometimes, I do make the error of unfollowing people I like when I am on a mad, deleting spree. DOH!

    I do unfollow people for good reason too. But wow that’s such an effort and they have to really annoy me to take such a course of action. Heck, I have spammers on my twitter stream that have been there for three + years (?) because I’m too lazy to reach over and wipe the bugs off the windscreen.


    I can’t say that I ever unfollowed someone hoping to hurt their feelings. Or TO show them!

    Show them what? That’s ridiculous to think such a thing!

    P.S. I apologize for failing to get over here more often or, perhaps, I came and failed to make a comment. I haven’t been well. But I think you’re clear about my high regard for you. I believe that I have been consistent in expressing my warm and high regard for you.

    If I’m mistaken, just let me know and I’ll step it up.

    Feel free to milk my affections for you – all you like. [warm smile]

    • Stan the man, if you gave me any more love I would have to marry you. You know where to find me, and if my content on a particular post was compelling enough, I’m sure you will find a way to leave your thoughts. I know you are a voracious blog reader and I also know how time consuming it can be. I’m getting the hang of where I fit in with my friends, and some are chatty and some are observers………but most aren’t ‘unfollowing’ me………..:).

      I don’t know if ‘the incident’ was what got me booted as I could tell it was more of a purge than just singling me out. All I know is several of my friends ‘made the cut’ and I didn’t. Boo hoo, right? It was just another social oddity to me.

      My stuff I can take care of, and that is what I plan on doing.

      I look forward to hangin’ with you in ’12.

      One of our insurance companies has a production contest for ’12 and they will be going to Bucharest; that would be pretty cool if I was able to make that one, huh?

  31. Please consider that quite often, it is not even with a conscious decision that we are unfollowed. People use tools that auto-unfollow those who unfollow them (and vice-versa). Sometimes, the tools make mistakes.

    Typically, they are using such tools (Manageflitter is a good example) because of Twitter’s following-follower ratio limits, which stunt our growth when many do not follow us. They need not be those we follow, but essentially, we need followers, and many of them, to follow many people. Thus, when it appears (even erroneously, as I suggested above) that people do not follow us back within three days of us following them, we may unfollow them. As for someone you knew for a long time, it probably is just that whatever app they’re using to auto-unfollow those who unfollowed them or are not following currently – is incorrect. It happens.

  32. Good day! I just want to offer you a big thumbs up for your
    excellent information you have got here on this post. I’ll be coming back to your blog for more soon.

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