I was almost duped into oblivion

As I inch closer to my 50th post and contemplating something fantabulous to pontificate on, it did give me time to pause for reflection and wonder why I’m still standing at this point and some of my friends are not.

Most know my story of not really understanding what twitter was all about until I crossed paths with Ms Gini D. Whereas, she was the perfect teacher at the time because she was so gracious and helpful; running with that crowd caused me to believe everybody ran at that pace.

Oh, I jumped right in all right and was all over the place. And as you know in social, there is always one more person to talk to; always. Each conversation takes you farther from home and it’s very easy to get sucked in and lose your way.

This is a marathon, not a sprint

Now that I have obtained my social media guru status (it’s true, just check my bio), I feel like I’m in a position to offer sage words of advice.

Slow down, don’t jump on this hamster wheel to the point the only way you can keep pace is giving up two hours of sleep a night. Writing posts and replying to comments at 2 am is.not.sustainable and it’s just flat out ludicrous.

If this is your business model, trust me there are ways to work much smarter. Growing your business at the expense of your health or real life relationships is not sustainable either.

Where did everybody go?

I have an aversion to doing Top 10 lists, but I could very easily do a Top 10 on the people I ‘used’ to know in social; where did they go? Most will say ‘real’ life got in the way; but I will say maybe their social bar was set too high, they could not maintain the pace and it stopped being fun for them. I do miss them and from what I’m reading, there seems to be another wave close behind.

But wait, we can fix that.

Just bring back the fun

I would rather have a little bit of you than nothing at all. It’s ok to clean your reader out when you can’t keep up.

Even if this is your business model, schedule your time wisely, stay on task, and don’t let the social media spiderweb hold you captive. Otherwise, you run the risk of being the ‘whatever happened to‘ person.

My solution

  • Re-evaluate and be realistic in your purpose
  • Structure a healthy, sustainable existence on social
  • Visit others only when time permits
  • Don’t be afraid to scale back
  • And most important, don’t forget to have fun
You are noticed and your efforts are appreciated
I don’t care if you are an ‘A’ lister or a ‘No’ lister; it’s all part of the mix and your efforts and talents are appreciated. If you are touching someone with your work I would rather have a little bit of you rather than nothing at all.
Show of hands, please
Where are you in this cycle? Are you just going to plow through or do you plan on taking a step back? Are your goals as clear as they were 90 days ago? Is life good enough just like it is, or are you still looking for direction? Finally, what is the meaning of life?

84 thoughts on “I was almost duped into oblivion

  1. Hey Bill,

    You make some great points here. It really is all about finding a happy medium – you get out what you put in, BUT it’s also easy to dedicate most of your life to social and blogging. I’ve been at both extremes (probably closer to less than more at the moment!) It definitely is a marathon not a sprint. Instead of trying to keep in touch with several hundred people, which some people literally try to do, I believe that it is better to start with a small circle and gradually build it up. This can’t be a ‘numbers game’. I’d rather have real, solid relationships with 10 people than superficial relationships with 100; and if we’re going to talk about strategy – who is going to be more willing to share your stuff? Exactly.

    • I jumped out early and tried to talk with everybody. It did help me get established, but it was not sustainable (for me at least). I have more than 10 blogs in my reader that I would really like to spend some time with but just never seem to have enough time. Therefore, I do stick w/ my core community and content to see where that will take me.

      I am much clearer with my focus and what is and is not important to me right now and it has allowed me to kick it back a notch and just enjoy the journey.

      If this was my bread and butter I might have a different approach but for now I’m still using it as a learning tool to see what I can get out of it to hopefully help others along the way.

      Good to see you sir, hope you had a good weekend.

      • It’s all about enjoying the journey!

        Yeah weekend was good thanks, real busy (socially!) Hope you had a good one too!

        PS next time you stop by my blog please leave your name as Bill Dorman @Social Media GURU lol

  2. Are you living in my head Bill? The solution you wrote out is the solution I’ve come to. It’s funny…when I started on this journey eight months ago, I followed the advice of those far more knowledgable and experienced than I (and no, it wasn’t one of the gurus in the video above…that was LMAO hilarious!). I’ve developed wonderful friendships and met loads of colleagues as I achieved my simple goal of writing: writing without self-editing.

    I’ve now stepped back (yes, Aruba was a good step back:) and my new direction is clear. I will want to maintain my friendships, but I no longer will run at the pace I was running at. I’ll step back from the overwhelm of “keeping up and staying ahead” in terms of frequency of blog posts, comments, tweets, facebook posting, google+, to Klout or not to clout, ad infinitum. I have a new strategic direction, and I’m confident in where I’m going. And the meaning of life? Follow your bliss. Spread joy. And of course…bacon:) Cheers! Kaarina

  3. Bill:

    12 percent of the answer to the bottom line of being human is here: http://wp.me/pbg0R-nY

    7 percent here: http://wp.me/pbg0R-lO

    3 percent here: http://wp.me/pbg0R-oU

    I could throw more links up here, but you get the idea. [grin]

    Is this spammy? Well, you did ask. [laughing]

    I suppose that I stop when God says, game over. That could be tomorrow. Or 58 years from now. We’ll see. It’s not up to me.

    I suppose whatever that time frame is, that doesn’t mean I’ll improve upon my no-lister game. [warm smile] But I’m around, Bill.

    • I’m around too Stan and I want to keep it that way. I do want to keep it fresh and fun however and I feel if you get too hung up on the peripheral ‘stuff’ that’s part of this world, it can move away from fun real quick.

      I have fun in my day job, so there is no reason I should not have fun at this as well; in fact, especially this………

      I will check out the links and as always, it’s good to see you. I hope you have been doing well.

  4. LOL Bill, I like your last question best – clever; sneaking it in there!
    I’ve noticed a lot of people coming and going since I started a year ago. (by the way – 50 posts already! I’m only at 90 – when did you start?) I think you may be right – the pace they set may have been too much to maintain. I started with 3 posts/week and backed it down to 2. It works much better all around.
    As in everything in life, balance seems to be the key!
    I like this too: “I would rather have a little bit of you rather than nothing at all.”

    • My first post was in March of this year. As I thought I needed to grow, change my website, etc; I was going to roll out a GP on Thursdays or do another post myself. I tried that and it actually worked ok, but it just added another layer of ‘responsibility’.

      Even though he has an entirely different model than me, I am ok going a la Danny Brown http://dannybrown.me and posting when the mood strikes, not off a set schedule. I don’t think the earth will quit spinning if I change my days………

      So good to see you Lori, thanks for the visit. Hope you had a great weekend.

  5. Hi Bill, This really hit home. Last week I read a great article on Christian’s blog by guest author Lee Downen. He said he spends four hours a week on average on his blog. I was shocked and thinking he couldn’t be a serious blogger until I read the rest of the article. http://smartboydesigns.com/how-to-use-technology-without-it-owning-you/

    I decided after reading the article to make my real life more of a priority again and went to play racquetball on Friday for the first time since September. It felt good to exercise again and to see my rball buddies.

    I love blogging and social media but I do need balance as well. You’re right, Bill, balance is the only way to be in this for the long haul. It’s so easy to get sucked in, there are many high quality blogs out there and I hate to miss reading any. But I also need to limit my computer time.

    Thanks for the great reminder, Bill! I’m with you, I want to be in this for the long haul. I appreciate your letting us know how that’s done.

    • When I first jumped in I was trying to learn everything. I also kind of jumped in at the top with the ‘seasoned’ veterans who already had a crazy schedule. Fortunately along the way I became more efficient, but it still took a lot of time. Therefore, I really needed to figure out what my purpose was and fortunately I have found that.

      I’m here to learn and have fun. If growth and doors open because of it I will be ready. If it looks the same 6 months from now; I will be ready for that too.

      It just has to be sustainable as I don’t want to be too one-dimensional in anything I do.

      I started playing tennis again and a buddy and I meet up every Wednesday night; it was good to get that going and we both look forward to our matches.

      Thanks for your thoughts and so good to see you. Hope you have a fabulous week.

  6. I’m with you, Bill. Pace and understanding why you’re online are paramount to sustainability. I know things can change for folks; they certainly have for me. I gave up trying to be everywhere for everyone -it’s impossible and I don’t get paid to do it! Social media is but one tool in the tool box; it’s not the only one. I had a very nice video (; ) on tap for this past Friday only to lose it in the process of loading. It was very similar to what you’re saying here. I feel that it’s so easy to get lost in the rabbit hole and wonder why nothing magical is happening. I for one vote that we keep it fun and for me, useful for business development, but don’t hang the proverbial hat on it!

    Great post, Bill. Thanks!

    • Useful for business development; I am using it as a learning experience and being observant as to what is working for some and not for others. To do this however, it does have to remain sustainable. If I was making a gazillion dollars from my efforts I might have a different strategy. But since I’m making nozillion dollars I should be good at just showing up; which I can do pretty good.

      Perspective and mission; I think we can find our balance it we can answer that question.

      Hope you are well and thanks for dropping by; it is always a pleasure to see you.

  7. Thanks for this, Bill and for not mentioning THE Game. Bummer. So much going on in my life right now, I have had to cut back a bit. Back in Huntsville, helping out with Dad. When life gets in the way, it is time to prioritize. I love doing the guest blog series and I am so grateful for all the people contributing (you included) but even without writing, there is a lot to be done.

    Love your 5 solutions (suggestions).

    •Re-evaluate and be realistic in your purpose
    •Structure a healthy, sustainable existence on social
    •Visit others only when time permits
    •Don’t be afraid to scale back
    •And most important, don’t forget to have fun

    Especially that last one. We gotta have FUN ! Thanks again Bill. Roll Tide. Forever.


    • The good news is, the loss didn’t ding you too bad. The bad news is, it was a very winnable game and they let it get away from them. My War Eagle sons wondered if it would be possible for neither team to win.

      I know you have a lot going on and it’s happening just about the time you were gaining some momentum. However, it also might allow some perspective and allow you to maintain a better balance with social.

      It is ok to have fun, even at work.

      Good to see you and enjoyed doing the GP for you; hopefully it was worthy.

      • Of course your post was worthy. Hope to have it up in next weeks lineup. Thanks for the sage advice. And yes, the game was very winnable. so many opportunities to score. just wasnt meant to be. take CARE Bill. Thanks again.

  8. Hey Bill!
    You’re one of those rare gems who, when you make a friend, stays a friend for life! And I get it. There are different “levels” of interaction with each person. But it doesn’t really matter does it?
    Life on and offline is a series of ups, downs, and arounds. Whoever is around that wants to enjoy the ride with me, so be it. My childhood friends still talk to me, tell me that they miss me, and say they’ll visit. So I keep my door open. But if they don’t show up IT’S THEIR LOSS! LOL!
    You’re a fun guy. So I’ll keep showing up. And if I don’t there was probably another power outage or one of my kids dropped the laptop again!
    The meaning of life? Borrow your friends computer when yours breaks?

    • Hi Betsy, thanks for the kind words. There are definitely different levels, but it doesn’t really matter, and sometimes the depth of the levels will vary as you progress along your journey.

      My phone was really on a death watch and finally my IT dept switched it out. I couldn’t even check twitter or anything and I think my Klout plummeted to about 7 or something…..:). Sometimes it is a challenge when you are computer or internet impaired, huh?

      I do want to keep it fun and sustainable and I want to enjoy the ride with you. I have already seen far too many friends just pack it in. There has to be some level you can get comfortable with that at least allows some kind of presence.

      Thanks for stopping by Betsy and here’s to durable computers……….:)

  9. Hi Bill,

    A wise post beyond belief. You really are a guru!! 🙂

    It’s true though – we all start out running like it’s a 100-yard dash, and we think, “Gee, how can people ever get tired of this?” But it really does get to be a hamster wheel, and more than that, the wheel keeps getting faster and faster. That’s the part they don’t tell you about, right? Especially that Gini type.

    Thanks for the brilliant post and the shout, sir.

    • It was definitely fast and furious but it was also new and a lot of fun. For me, I seemed to have noticed a malaise toward the end of summer and people were questioning their direction and sustainability. I think we all know people who just shut it down and I found that kind of sad.

      Now that I am clearer on my direction and purpose I do think I have found a sustainability level as well. I hope my community is ok with a ‘little bit of me’ these days.

      Are you believing I thought I could keep up w/ Gini…………….really? I am grateful for her letting me hang in her neighborhood; it was just a little too rich for my blood however….:).

      Thank you for your compliments and dropping by; I’ll have to get by your stinky post.

  10. Totally agree Bill! I have lost count of the number of times I have lost my way in this social media world and it’s always been because I have been trying too hard and the fun has gone out of it.

    I like Danny’s idea of only posting when the mood strikes – or when I have something to say which unfortunately doesn’t always coincide with the mood. I think for me the best way forward is to chill out, not worry about stats, ads etc but to do what, looking back, has always been the most effective thing – that is connect and engage with good people and above all enjoy the experience.

    Thanks for the link by the way, I am proud to be able to call myself Bill’s list guru now 🙂

    Will get back to you on the ‘meaning of life question’ – maybe there is a Top 10 there when I figure it out 🙂

    • Yes, I will leave the top 10’s to you…….but you do so a great job at it anyway; I don’t want to steal any of your thunder……….

      When I was really ‘all in’ I felt like I had to learn everything, find direction for by blog, keep track of numbers, etc. I had to ask myself, for what? All it was doing was adding pressure and the fun was starting to slip away. I’m ok with fun for now and just engaging and learning. I need to play on my terms and not what I think others might expect me to do, right?

      Please do a top 10 on the meaning of life………..I’m ready. I thought it was just to have fun………..:)

      Good to see you sir.

    • Hey Riley, so good to see you; hope you have been well.

      I know Triberr has gone manual but I haven’t seen any of your posts in there; have you been posting?

      Enjoyment is the name of the game and if you can’t have fun with what your are doing, then maybe you should just walk away. Personally, I think with the right balance you can make it fun.

      Thanks for stopping by.

      • Hey Bill,
        Only posted once in the last two months, but plan to resume. Got sidetracked by some other ventures. What is interesting however is that the amount of traffic to my blog stayed about the same.

  11. Bill,

    Every time I read one of your posts I feel compelled to comment … even if I don’t have time 😉

    It is interesting that many people often comment about blogging and call it a game. Sometimes it feels like just that. A game. It can become all-consuming and turn you into some kind of blogging zombie. And I imagine just “social” has destroyed more than a few relationships … and lives.

    It really is a crazy realm, this blogging / social media thing. I’m truly amazed by it all after just a few months. It’s beyond overwhelming for a variety of reasons, but it comes down to yet another thing you have to attend to. And, if you become so consumed by it all, I can see a very quick flame out, and an experience that leaves a very bitter taste in your mouth.

    I haven’t soured on it. I’m honestly, truly enjoying it so far. I am having fun, but I see how that could change very quickly. You might go in with the very best intentions, but soon become consumed by it, your direction changes and pretty soon you are in it for all the wrong reasons and it starts to dominate your life. My goal is to stay balanced (if possible) and grow slow. Try not to feel like I need to be everywhere. For as you say, that’s just not sustainable.

    Hopefully this doesn’t appear like a shameless plug, but this is at Al’s blog, not mine. So here goes. As I mention in my post at Al’s place, Kaarina recommended the book “The Last Lecture” to me. Then I watched the video for the second time in my life. Anyway, the speech and the book are all about how you should live your life. Great advice from a dying man. Just about the best advice, really: http://thecaremovement.com/a-dying-mans-perspective/ If you can operate in this online world, maintain your real life relationships, treat people well, maintain humility and all that, I do think You’ll be okay. We are only human. Fallible beings. So a reminder like this is good. I like your reminder too.

    I didn’t want this comment to turn into a blog post … and a lesson in morality, but as I said your posts tend to bring out this kind of thinking. BUT, I am having fun, really 😉

    Now, get back to being that funny guy. This stuff is too darn serious.

    Actually, thanks for the message.

    • The key is to keep it fun.

      I know in our arena most jump in thinking ‘well, there has to be a way to make some money at this’ and there is, but I don’t think it can be a part time gig if it is the only way you are making money. Also, just like a 9-5 day job, I don’t think you can get any work done if you are being ‘social’ all day.

      In my world of sales I’m all about networking and I know the difference between mindless networking and purposeful networking.

      Now that I’m much clearer in my focus, I can be that funny guy and not get too hung up on all the other stuff the pros use to justify their existence. All I have to do is show up, which is one of the things I am really good at.

      No shameless plugs here my friend, feel free to drop them in anytime. That was a great GP at Al’s BTW.

      Good to see you and just remember to keep that balance where you still enjoy being in this arena.

  12. There is a reason why I tell people that I write first for me and then for everyone else and that is because I don’t burn out that way. It makes this whole hamster wheel feel a lot more comfortable.

    We all have to operate on whatever schedule/terms works best for us. I write when I feel like it and when I don’t I try to take a break.

    • I was definitely out there chasing for awhile and found out eventually it was only my tail that I was chasing and I was never going to catch it.

      After taking a little time off it did bring clarity to my purpose and my focus; and no, that does not mean more posts (or less). It just means whatever schedule I decide to use will be good enough.

      I got caught up in the ‘race’ and started looking at things I thought were supposed to be important measurement tools; but it was for no reason. What am I measuring against? I just need to show up for now and that I can do………

      I figured you would be working on your terms and no one else’s.

      • It is just who I am. Don’t know how to do it any differently. Has its advantages and disadvantages. I figured you would be one of the people who recognized what is going on and would create a solution that works for you.

        I think the numbers drive a lot of people and that can get old quickly so if you don’t know how to let it go you have to disappear.

    • If I could equate the numbers to dollars and be able to quantify it, I might have more than a passing interest. For now and what I’m doing, I think I’m ‘visible’ enough……

  13. Great post Bill!

    I start feeling guilty sometimes when I don’t make it to certain blogs because I love the content and enjoy what they share but it’s unrealistic that you can be everywhere all the time and still build a business that is supporting you full-time. At least it is for me.

    I know it’s important to be seen and get yourself out there but you are right. If it’s starts interfering with your life and you find yourself online until 2:00 am every morning then you have to ask yourself is this worth it? You have to be realistic and I quit feeling bad now about just not making it to some blogs at times.

    I know that my regular readers aren’t able to read all of my posts either but I understand. Guess that’s why I can’t feel bad either. But like you, I do miss some of those that kind of dropped off the radar. But, we do this to ourselves if we aren’t careful.

    Thanks for sharing this Bill and letting us know that we have to decide what’s best for us. Hey, comment when you have time and stop beating yourself up over it. Its’ really that simple.


    • There is always one more to see and that’s when you look at the clock and a couple of hours have gone by………

      We do have to take the attitude of just doing the best we can and that might mean we miss a post or two. Like you, I don’t like to do that but it is inevitable. Now, I’m just not stressing over it anymore.

      The more we do, the easier it is to find the balance. The main gist of my post was, to find that balance so we don’t lose you altogether.

      Great to see you today, hope you had a great weekend.

  14. Hello wonderful Bill…you are a brilliant mixture of fun, funny and wise. This is a very insightful and thoughtful post. I guess for me it all comes down to prioritizing….social media is very seductive and can suck the life right out of you and ….then what… if you have no “life” left for the people in your real time world, what good is it? Your awesome mentor, Gini posted on a great topic today about unplugging for an hour or two every day (set the timer)…that means no emails, no Twitter, no FB, no nothing…and focus on a task at hand. I think she was meaning a business task but I think it can pertain to personal as well. Spend time with a friend, loved one, dog, anything without allowing any interruptions. It’s not easy because we are SO connected but, the resulting accomplishment is SO worth it. As Kaarina found out during her Aruba retreat.
    You are an awesome blogger Bill. You have humor and wisdom and that guru thing all going for you. So glad to “know” you!

    • First and foremost, thanks so much for the kind words and encouragement.

      When I first jumped in it was very intoxicating and I was running hard to keep up with everyone. I could tell it wouldn’t be sustainable, I just had to get my arms around when to jump off. Now that I have a much clearer vision for what I’m doing, I feel much better about my mission and a more realistic involvement.

      The challenge is when you walk away from it, your mind is still thinking about all the things you still want to do. You have to be able to mentally shut it down as well. This makes my brain social mush at times……….:).

      Thanks so much for stopping by; loved your post at Lori’s today. It looks like it was getting lively…….I’ll have to drop back by and see the comments.

      I hope you have a great week.

  15. I had a week where I faded from twitter view. I wasn’t burnt out, but my computer was, and it took a couple of thousand dollars, some swearing, and a few tears to get it back to current and healthy.

    I have to admit that being off the hamster wheel was odd. Now today, I’m tweeting, blogging, writing on both my WIP’s and feeling right at home.

    You are right, the pace can be overwhelming, but if it is ‘fun’ then it isn’t so bad. For me it is fun.

    • Hey stranger, how the heck are ya?

      For a writer, I’m guessing no computer is not a good thing; ever.

      It’s a matter of perspective, purpose and time. If you are ok with whatever you can do to make that work then you will be right at home.

      It’s still fun for me, but I had to come to grips with what I was trying to accomplish and I feel good with where I am now.

      Fun = sustainability; whatever it looks like.

      I’m still playing golf BTW….in short pants……in case you were wondering…..:).

      Good to see you Brian, thanks for stopping by.

  16. A very interesting Blog for me. I’ve just begun to use Twitter and am working on a “real” Blog..I blogged loooong ago on a very small closed group site..and it was all for fun them and Yup..that’s why I’ll be doing it again..Hey I am retired after all!

    I thank you and ALL the great people I’ve been following thanks to my good friend and Blogger Amber-Lee and her links too you peeps..

    I’m still setting up and struggling to make a “real” blog site but it’s always a long cold winter here and I’m getting braver and starting to comment..Thanks to All you friendly, helpful, souls!


    • Hello Ann, thanks for stopping by. So Amber-Lee is the instigator, huh? Sounds like she is struggling with being sick AND no internet. Hopefully she can get both taken care of soon because she is a real presence and we are missing her.

      And let me tell you about a ‘real’ blog site. Did you know I carried the invisible moniker for a long time because I didn’t think people would be stopping by? Also, this ‘real’ site is a free WordPress site. For awhile I thought I would be going self-hosted, but for what I’m doing this is serving it’s purpose. The only thing I did do was get my own domain name through Go Daddy. I tell you this, because no need to struggle, just do it and jump right in. Trust me, I have tested the waters and the temperature is just right. You have just as much ‘right’ to be here as anybody else.

      So my other words of advice: be bold during those long cold winter days and nights and just jump the heck in.

      I look forward to seeing your progress.

      • Thanks for the encouraging advice. I have a basic template, started on Google but only because I thought this was a pay for site! See I’m learning. Now I’m not sure where to go..lol…yes Amber was the instigator..I sent her a few old things I’d written that seemed to pertain to her “mountains” when she first started and she actually..gasp..put on in one of her first blogs with credit to me..what a sweetie she is.

        Yes she’s still sick..but hanging in there..I chewed her out and told her to fly her Butt into town to a clinic as the Meds she’s been on forever are NOT working and she’s about to run out… but they’ve had some blizzardy cold weather..It was -0 when I spoke to her….No internet there yet..and maybe that’s a good thing so she’s
        resting..sort of…lol…

        I’ll jump in when I get my thought unscrambled..I do have a title (keep shifting that!) and domain name..if I did it correctly..I followed Kaarina’s steps for first timers pretty close..My problem is I ramble..can you tell?? and have to learn some trim it down!!

        I love all the good advice here..makes it not so overwhelming to start..:)

    • I don’t necessarily ramble, but I can turn a two sentence answer into 3 paragraphs pretty easily.

      If you are following Kaarina’s steps for first timers that is where you need to be; I did a lot of stumbling but somehow I figured it out enough to get to this point.

      I actually thought some people I knew were not coming by because I had a free site; it took me awhile to figure out that had nothing to do with it. My ‘stuff’ just wasn’t their cup of tea; but the good news is, I’m totally ok with that. I certainly know one size does not fit all in here so I just work on doing what I can and let everything else fall into place from there.

      Good luck going forward.

  17. Hi Bill,

    Great advice. I think it is necessary to be realistic and to have goals that can be met without cursing yourself to death ;).
    I have a business model that I want to achieve authority on my subject. It will take time as any business does. Success rarely happens overnight. I think people are too much enamoured by a few billionaires who have achieved success in much shorter time. But I bet that strategy is not for everyone.
    With reference to blogging, I think there are two important points , content and promotion. I write almost every two days. That helps me to build a bank of content and avoid that blank mind feeling the day , when I want to publish something.
    I try to keep up with the other blogs , conversations most of the the time but sometimes if I do fall behind, I do not worry much on it. A few months back , I even injured my hand typing too much . Since then I understood that I need to cut back on my work . I think I can use some of your suggestions too 🙂 (Scaling back is one of them 🙂 .

    • That’s funny you mention the hand injury; when I was going Mach V with my hair on fire trying to keep up with everything, I think I was starting to develop carpel tunnel syndrome. I had to keep my mouth shut because my wife was saying ‘see, I told you you were on the computer too much’…………..:).

      It’s nice and easy to get into the blogs and talk and have fun. However, if it is not part of your business model it can be a huge time suck and keep you away from your objectives. Therefore, if you are ‘purposeful’ with your time you can still be social because that is what this is all about, and accomplish your mission as well.

      JUST being social will probably not put any money in the bank for you.

      I think you are doing a great job and you seem to have a good grasp on what works for you.

      Thanks so much for stopping by and hope your week is going well.

  18. Hi, Bill.

    I breathed a sigh of relief when I read this post. It is so in line with what I am doing right now. When I focused on the offline side of my business, I was afraid that even if I do post an article every now and then, I would be forgotten by the people I have gotten to know over the months I have been quite active on social media. But, I realized that there are people out there who don’t forget easily (like you). So, I am glad that I took a step back, rearranged my priorities and spent more time on matters that brought home the bacon and of course, my family.

    Thanks for this, mate. Really appreciate your wise sentiments.

    • And bacon is good; especially when you are feeding the family too.

      I really think you can use social in so many ways to build a brand, establish credibility, etc. However, you have to be purposeful to a certain degree because the social side can be so consuming. The quicker you can find what works best for you, the better chance you have of keeping it sustainable.

      I feel a lot of people jumped into this because they thought it would be an opportunity to make some money or even build a business. And there are a few I know who are doing this. Unfortunately, most are not and when the money didn’t start rolling in it made them question what they were doing in here.

      Social is definitely here to stay; that is why I think it is important to find your place in it. Slowing down might be the best advice.

      Good to see you Wes; thanks for stopping by and the RT.

  19. Okay Bill, You, Erica and Jayme are hilarious with these 3 posts. Here is what I wrote at Jayme’s…

    “Like I mentioned at Erica Allison’s place, I’m trying to get a system in place that will help keep it from being open-ended. If you set the limitations ahead of time, and they are realistic, you can prevent burnout. But it takes most of us getting a little burnt out first to realize what those limits are.”

    I think that basically fits in with your bullet points. *Re-evaluate and be realistic in your purpose
    and *Structure a healthy, sustainable existence on social.

    Still, there is definitely an ebb and flow to the blogosphere just like life. Not everything is a good fit for everybody… or every life.

    • The ease of entry into social is why it is attractive to many. Also the allure of starting your own business and making money at something is fun is an attraction as well. However, and just like in real life, it’s damn hard and those without a clear plan probably will not make it.

      That is why I want to find that balance for now because I know social is only going to become more prevalent and I want to be as knowledgeable as I can. At some point, I feel it can benefit my day job and I think I will know when I’m ready to go in that direction.

      It’s funny Erica, Jayme and I had the same thoughts; Gini even had a post about shutting it down to get something accomplished. The gist of all this is, you have to find what is sustainable and works for you and not let it run you into the ground.

      Who knows, in 30 days I might be writing something totally different; there is definitely an ebb and flow in here.

      Good to see you.

  20. Bill,

    I miss Ingrid. 😦 A LOT! She is still around but hasn’t posted in a while. Like, since August when her comments where last open. I can see why she would need a hiatus, she was holding up so many people over there. I envied her.

    But did I really? I envy her intellect. Her style. And her friendliness. And I did envy her popularity. But with popularity comes that dreaded feeling you should never fall from it. All the things I envied in her is what made her big. I wish she would come back. Well, I have Bill to cry to.

    Do I want to be big? In the last couple of months I have started to receive more comments, tweets, likes and emails. Not in epic proportions but enough to where I need to followup more often, this takes time. I love that I am growing and people are looking to me for help yet I can also see how this can also be stressful. People relying on your next move to make theirs. Or waiting for you to write something so they can respond. This can put the pressure on to ALWAYS be excellent.

    Anyway, I don’t feel that way yet. I’ve had a few indications it could start but nothing serious yet. I can really see why people would have a team to work with, a VA, a partner or sooner or later employees. They help ease the tension in yourself.

    When the pressure gets too much I ground myself and remember why I blog. To put out the best stuff I know. No matter how many people are on my tail, I just keep blogging what I know.


    • I thought I wanted to be ‘big’ and for whatever reason I attracted traffic early. When some started to come and go it made me wonder what I might be doing wrong; why was I chasing them off because it seemed I still saw them everywhere else. The healthiest thing I did was quit worrying about all the noise that is out of my control. I had to just put my head down, do my own thing and let the chips fall where they may.

      Not that I’m complaining but if you get 30, 40, or 50 comments and you are replying to each one you really need to be efficient if you still want to visit other places. As you can see, my comments are not usually too efficient and have some length to them.

      Out of all the people I connected to early, I think Griddy was the one I emulated the most; I think our styles of replying and our purpose were very similar. This is just my opinion, but I think her popularity and trying to keep pace with it all just became too much. She told me she was doing a big project off line and I think it kept her away from her site enough she just didn’t have the same energy and enthusiasm to crank it back up again once she was done. However, that’s a self-assessment and I really have no idea what is going on in her life or if she will ever be back like she was. I do miss her too.

      Once you achieve a certain level it becomes ‘ok, so now what?’. I think you need to be prepared for the ebb and flow and just make sure you have realistic expectations. I have found my ‘spot’ I believe and one thing I do know, I’m not ‘racing’ to anything.

      I think you are doing a great job at your place and hope you feel it is taking you where you want to go. I like having you around so I certainly don’t want to see you become a social media casualty.

      Good to see you and thanks for stopping by today.

  21. Hey Bill!

    You gave some great advice in this post and I love the conversation in the comments here! I’m happy to say that my business has really grown in the last year. I’ve made it to my goals and I’m setting new ones.

    However, the busyness of my work takes time away from social. I do understand it’s still an important part of a marketing strategy as well. But, I really love the relationships that have been created and cultivated.

    I’ve definitely had to cut back and unsubscribe from some. I spend less time in a week on blog reading and commenting. However, I have my favorites and try keep showing up to their sites. I’m not doing it in hopes of getting new work out of all of those people. I’m doing it to show my support for what they do and keep that relationship going.

    • Congrats on the growing business, that is great news. I like the fact you read the comments as well and I need to do a better job of that when I’m visiting others. I think this is where you find the real ‘gold’.

      At some point you do have to cut back to keep it sustainable (or at least I have had to). But I still have many I want to stay in touch with. I just have to pick and choose which posts I can comment on.

      I certainly have appreciated your support and I like the stuff you produce at your place.

      I hope you, the family and baby are well and you have a great week. Thanks for stopping by.

  22. Like Craig, I think your posts are sneaky evil.. forcing my hands to the keyboard whether I have the time or not. 😉 I noticed some of the absences, was sad to read about Margie’s and I respect that everyone’s got their own things to do.

    I know from my own experience, that some of this can fuel us perfectionist, obsessive personality types and go too far if we let it. Many of my social forays – for fun, anonymous play on message boards – are still with me a little but mostly, I had to let go; spending way too much time and effort and while fun, it got to take over. Hard to explain, somehow we get fixated and set in routines. For example, when the football season is over and hopefully my LSU Tigers prove victorious, I won’t know what to do with myself when I’m not reading the posts, the polls, all the stuff, ya know?

    In the social world, it’s easy to go all in (BTW, the guru video = hilarious) b/c it’s social. We meet other people and pretty soon, we make friends, we encounter people who tell us how smart, nice, funny, clever we are – and who the hell doesn’t like that?! That instant gratification causes us to keep going and going but eventually, we run out of gas. Not projecting or speculating on others, but I know that w/ the economy I’ve had to shift work, rethink the time I put into social. Sure I’ve learned a lot, enjoy it and will stick with it.. but at a different pace and finding the direction that leads to more work. Oh, and the meaning of life is bacon + puppies X wine with a side of ‘your team’ victories / vacations and card games and F&F – those annoying bills that have to be paid. FWIW.

    • Yes, I do think that is the meaning of life.

      When you jump into this and are unsure if you belong or will be ‘outed’ as a rookie; when you get the adulation and acceptance it can be somewhat intoxicating. And you start to think if this is good, what will it feel like if I just do a little bit more? It’s all very circular, and there really is no end. That is why it was important for me to find a purpose and a sustainable level.

      I do miss some of our peeps and it’s a shame they decided to give it up all together.

      At the end of the day, whatever we are doing to make money better be where most of our focus is and you can fit everything else in around that. I do like being ‘social’ though; that is the one thing I feel I can do very well.

      I think your Tigers are going to do OK; I have a feeling it’s going to be another SEC National Champion much to the chagrin of the rest of the conferences.

      So good to see you and thanks for stopping by; glad to know I have some stickiness to my post………..:)

  23. Hi Bill,

    I can relate to what you’re saying, and I could easily have become one of those guys you describe. I started out commenting and retweeting in the middle of the night, because I wanted to become successful, and that was the time I could work (my family was sleeping, and I was done with my regular job). But I soon realized that I had to stop it, and work smarter. I was looking for the fun part of work, and I found it by doing things in my own pace and when I wanted to do it. I stopped doing the to-do lists that I never could finish (I just added new tasks), and I turned everything into personal relationships. Everything is a lot more fun when it’s personal and you get to know people.

    And this also explains why I’m turning up late to the party. I’ve been writing on my novel, because that’s what I felt like doing these past days. My problem is that I can’t reach out to a lot of people, not like I used to do, because I’ve taken things to a personal level I’m focusing on keeping the relationships I have, and making them stronger instead of focusing on new (and get more traffic).

    I’m not sure if this makes any sense, but it’s early in the morning, if that’s any excuse… you’re probably already at the gym 🙂

    • Makes plenty of sense; I too want to maintain the relationships but to do so sometimes it means having a smaller circle. It’s hard for me to be engaged on just the surface level, but you almost have to if you are trying to reach out.

      Great news on the book; yes you do have to find that as well.

      I’m just trying to do what I can; people will be able to see me but it won’t be all over the place. I think I put enough time in to get ‘known’ by enough people so they know where to find me if they are so inclined.

      For now, I’m still posting once a week. This should make it easy enough if someone wants to stop by. If they are too busy to fit me in just once a week then that’s ok too. I still see who doesn’t come by because I see them everywhere else but don’t worry about it, It used to give me pause for thought, but I can only control what I do and I’m ok with that.

      Let’s just keep it sustainable and fun enough ok Jens? Good to see you today.

  24. Hey Bill,

    For myself, I had to make a decision to scale back because I was spending far too much time in blogging activities and missing out on income generating opportunities. I don’t blog for money, and have not plan to do so…but I do have a family to take care of and big big big goals to meet!

    -Re-evaluate and be realistic in your purpose
    -Structure a healthy, sustainable existence on social
    -Visit others only when time permits
    -Don’t be afraid to scale back
    -And most important, don’t forget to have fun

    I can appreciate each of these and I’ve experienced each this past summer. One thing that I started to experience is that blogging felt like a job. Not writing but all the other stuff that has to take place. I surely don’t need another job. No sir!

    But now, I fit blogging in when I have time for it. It has a definite position in my life and I have a definite space for it within my schedule.

    Best to you Bill!

    • I think we were on similar paths there for awhile so it’s good we both have found ‘our place’ for now. I know I will not make any money blogging so I too need to make sure I take care of the day job responsibilities first. However, while I’m in social I am learning and a lot of the businesses I work with do have questions on what it is all about.

      I’m still on somewhat of a schedule but it is very flexible and very low-pressure. I’m just looking to maintain sustainability now.

      So, are you a Tebow lover yet? Are you willing to bank your franchise on this kid? He is a great person and I’m sure he is a winner and leader, but I still think he will only be a marginal NFL quarterback at best. Who knows though, he might surprise me still.

      Good to see you and hope all has been well.

  25. Hey Bill,

    I feel for those who have lost their way a little in this blogging world – I had that same feeling only recently, to the point where I asked a few close friends whether I should quit and start afresh.

    But I didn’t, I chose to tough it out, and I’m glad that I have.

    I now feel a drive for Unlock The Door that, to be honest, I haven’t felt for a long time. I feel ready to tackle the rough and tough that will come my way, and forge my own path to success. I know I’ve been saying this for a while, but now I actually FEEL it inside of me.

    Those who have removed themselves from blogging, whether temporary or permanent, and whether by their own will or not, I respect their wishes and hope they continue to follow their true path. It’s not easy. I now have a full-time job to juggle along with my other commitments.

    But if a path is true, then we’ll follow it as we follow our hearts, and live without any regrets 🙂

    • I’m glad you have the drive back. I think we all go through our ups and downs. I was struggling with where I wanted to go, who I wanted to be, and what did it all look like. For now, I have found that and I’m much more comfortable with my efforts. One thing I’m not going to be doing is staying on the hamster wheel……..

      Hope your job is going well and yes, we certainly want you to maintain your presence in social. Best of luck going forward and thanks for stopping by.

  26. I was sick! I can’t believe I almost missed this post! Wow. Can you tell I’m playing catch up?! LOL

    This is great. I needed this and better late than never. I wont ever quit. But. Wow I was sure running that wheel as fast as possible before I got sick and then with being sick and getting online- Well, I’ve been feeling like an absolute failure, Bill.

    Terrific post and I’ll try not to fall so far behind. Ever Again!!

    • Whoa now, you are really digging deep to go back this far.

      If it were me, I would just wipe the slate clean and go forward from here. Otherwise, you will be playing catch up all year long. There is just too much stuff coming at you to try and keep up with it all.

      Trust me, life goes on and you will survive.

      I do appreciate the effort and it is always a pleasure to see you around these parts.

      Take care and I’ll be seeing you around.

  27. […] tell you about it later.  And you know what else?  People with blogs can be so serious! (Even Bill has been serious after his locker room dilemma.) For now, let’s peek into what Allie has been […]

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