If you know 100 people, only 16 will consider you a close friend; really like you. These are the ones that will be there if you need them, call you on your birthday, and can get you on the phone at any time. They have a personal relationship with you.
The next 54 people you can call acquaintances and they like you on some level, but you are not on their speed dial. When planning a party or putting a group together, you are typically not in the first cut. They are intermittent in your life and come and go. You might go months before you realize you haven’t seen or talked with them during this time. You like them ok, but you don’t have what you could call a relationship per se.
The next 16 tolerate you but there is something about you, the way you talk, the way you dress, the group you associate with or some idiosyncrasy about you that annoys them. They will be cordial but prefer not to ‘hang’ with you.
And finally, the last 14; they just don’t like you. For whatever reason, perceived or real you have taken it to a level past indifference with them. They will not be showing you the love. In fact, they will probably go out of their way to avoid you.
Do you agree with these statistics? Are you the type of person who wants everyone to like you?
Regardless of how hard you try, you won’t change these percentages much. You can try to be neutral or non-opinionated as you please, but that in and of itself might be the reason people don’t get close to you.
Because of this reality, do you think you should primarily work on deepening the relationships with the top 16; should you try to pull some people from the next 54 up; are you open to having more close friends?
If you know you have annoying habits, should you work on them or just say you have to take me just the way I am?
It’s unlikely the bottom 14 are going to change their minds. You don’t have to unlike them back, but you also don’t need to let them occupy much of your time or thoughts either. Regardless of how they might make you feel, you have the power to rise above it.
Which group should get your attention; how much do you value that top 16? Do you let them know on a regular basis, or do you think it is a given?
Are you a good friend to someone? Who’s top 16 are you in?